By NRFTW - 17/12/2013 05:10 - United States - Denver

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks 51 260
You deserved it 3 707

NRFTW tells us more.

NRFTW 8

A little more detail: This guy had wandered over from a party next door. It was almost 1 a.m., and during the holidays I work really late, so I came home, put my stuff away, and when I turned around there was a guy standing literally at my window, on my porch, pissing on my house. I walked out and started screaming at him (I know, probably not smart) to get the **** off of my property. He said, "I'm just takin' a leak," finished his business, zipped up his pants, and leaned against the porch staring at me. That's when my brain caught up with what I was doing and I went back inside and called the cops. My porch runs the length of my (very small) house. The porch is open without a railing, and at this time there were also several other men sitting on my porch right under my bedroom window (closest to my neighbors yard). When I called, Weld County dispatch first told me that the police were "too busy" to come out, and I ended up on the phone with a cop. He asked if the porch was fenced (no) and if it could be seen from the main road (no). I stupidly thought he was trying to locate my house, as it is hard to find. According to the laws in my city, once you ask someone to leave your property and they refuse, it is trespassing. I told them multiple times to leave my property, and one of them had the nerve to tell me "I can sit where ever I want."

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Top comments

skittycat213 19

Please tell the police to get their heads out of their asses and do their jobs! Y'know, the one we're paying for with tax money!

497 15
wouterkz 11

He's still damaging your property, so he could be charged with vandalism or a similar offense.

359 2

Comments

bryan788 29

next time when you call the cops say, I just shot a man for peeing on my house they will be right over

4 0
perdix 29

Sounds likes it's so cold, the cops want to make any excuse to not get out of their nice, warm cars. Plus, the have respect for a guy who will whip it out in such bad weather.

13 4
heyhooker 11

This sounds made up... FAKE

0 1
buckdharma 36

Imagine the charges this guy would have if he was caught peeing on the cop's house.

33 1
cakefete2 30

I heard in some states, that's a capital crime.

4 0
jazalea8 16

Does not matter if your porch is fenced off or not. The man is unwanted on your PRIVATE PROPERTY. The cops said it was on private property. You could push the issue if you wanted to.

21 1
AtheistKing96 4

It appears as if cops are becoming lazier and lazier. I got first hand experience with that. Sorry about your situation.

12 3
littlekellilee 45

Or they're busy dealing with people beating their spouses or people pulling knives on people.

3 19
gracehi 31

Yeah, the cops really are useless sometimes, at least where I live. They weren't even going to arrest my ex husband for giving me a bruise and an open wound until my neighbor asked, "Hey, doesn't he have a warrant out for a DUI?" Yeah, they didn't even bother to check until a random person reminded them to do their ******* job. And there have been a few other times I've called the cops and they've done nothing, but I won't get into it. That's why I got myself a gun, so I won't have to rely on the cops. However, I wouldn't shoot a guy just for pissing on my house, so in this situation I guess I'd still be screwed.

11 2
Sweetpea22 14

Many police officers don't give a shit if domestic abuse is going on. My friend was beaten by her ex husband resulting in her losing a pregnancy. The cops didn't do shit since he was a fellow officer.

10 2
gracehi 31

That's terrible. I've heard of stories of cops covering each other's asses, but not in a case of such extreme violence. Except, a friend of mine told me he called the cops on a neighbor for beating his girlfriend, who ended up having visible bruises, and at first the cops weren't going to arrest him, because apparently the asshole boyfriend was in the military (he'd showed them a military ID) but then, once again, a random person had to shame them into doing their ******* job. I'd like to think these types of things are isolated incidents and uncommon, but it makes you wonder how often it happens, because you've got to figure it almost always goes unreported. If only there was a police to police the police.

11 0
Sweetpea22 14

It was the typical "Oh, she must have deserved the beatings."

2 2
Shade1982 20

@132: There actually is, they're called 'Internal Affairs', but I have no idea how far their jurisdiction goes and how effective they are...

1 3
gracehi 31

167, I've heard that name before, but I didn't know that's what they did. That's good to know! Do they take civilians' complaints? If so we citizens have to be responsible and report when the police are derelict in their duties.

2 0
Not_Impressed13 9

Throw a bucket of cold water on him. Or point at him and say "You **** with that?!?! It looks like a penis, only smaller!"

19 1
gracehi 31

That probably would be the best way to handle it, but as ****** up as this situation is, it wouldn't surprise me if the bum called the cops on her and she got arrested for assault or some shit.

10 0
Not_Impressed13 9

Sadly, that is probably true. "Officer, I want to charge this woman with mental abuse for belittling my miniscule penis."

13 1
strike2867 13

Call them back and tell them not to worry about it because you shot him.

13 1