By NRFTW - 17/12/2013 05:10 - United States - Denver
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NRFTW tells us more.
A little more detail: This guy had wandered over from a party next door. It was almost 1 a.m., and during the holidays I work really late, so I came home, put my stuff away, and when I turned around there was a guy standing literally at my window, on my porch, pissing on my house. I walked out and started screaming at him (I know, probably not smart) to get the **** off of my property. He said, "I'm just takin' a leak," finished his business, zipped up his pants, and leaned against the porch staring at me. That's when my brain caught up with what I was doing and I went back inside and called the cops. My porch runs the length of my (very small) house. The porch is open without a railing, and at this time there were also several other men sitting on my porch right under my bedroom window (closest to my neighbors yard). When I called, Weld County dispatch first told me that the police were "too busy" to come out, and I ended up on the phone with a cop. He asked if the porch was fenced (no) and if it could be seen from the main road (no). I stupidly thought he was trying to locate my house, as it is hard to find. According to the laws in my city, once you ask someone to leave your property and they refuse, it is trespassing. I told them multiple times to leave my property, and one of them had the nerve to tell me "I can sit where ever I want."
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jefrey
9
where do you live???? just in case!!
that's some bullshit.
Just because your property is not fenced, does not mean it the guy isn't trespassing. Sounds like someone was being lazy and not doing their job.
middlenamefrank
8
He's just wrong. If it's your property, it's trespassing. They just don't want to be bothered with someone peeing on your porch.
You called the cops? I know if I found some bloke pissing on my porch, I'd probably just assume he was drunk and make sure he's okay. Then again, I'm in college, so this is a regular occurrence.
Not sure if people are down-voting my comment, or down-voting the fact that drunk college kids regularly pee on my apartment...
hon, you're getting down votes because in the fml she says she called the cops...
I reread your comment and now I understand better what you're saying... But honestly, why would she not call the cops if a drunk was peeing on her house?
Well in my situation, living in a (small) college town, someone peeing in public isn't really considered a danger/threat/emergency because it happens literally all the time. Lots of drunk kids partying late into the night = lots of public pissing. I've witnessed my own friends peeing on porches 4 times this year (that I can remember). I'd be calling the police at least 1 or 2 times a week if I busted every single guy that peed outside in my apartment complex. I wasn't seriously asking if she called the cops (I know it said that in the FML), I was just sort of surprised that she did. But that's because, where I live, if I saw someone pissing on my porch, they're probably too drunk to realize what's going on, and I would more than likely sympathize with the guy and make sure he has a way home and won't die from alcohol poisoning. That's just how the attitude is at my university- the local police are known for handing out MIPs like Halloween candy, so we tend to look out for our own kind by NOT calling the cops on them. Now that OP has cleared up some things, I 100% sympathize with them and agree with how they handled the situation. If someone pissed on my porch and THEN sat there, wouldn't leave my property, sat under my bedroom window, etc. and wouldn't leave after I asked them to, then I'd probably call security or the cops. Anyway, I hope that clears some things up about my comment. It was simply a shock to me because the way we do things around here is so different. For the tl;dr, college kids pee on everything they're not supposed to- it's an epidemic.
Claim you saw his junk. Then there's a possible indecent exposure charge too. If the police refuse to come out and deal with it place a call to your local television news and newspaper. What do you have to lose?
The cops in my city have a habit of hanging out at any one of the fast food places that are about two blocks from my house. The speed limit there drops from 45 to 25, and there are several bars there as well. At any given time, you can drive through there are see two to four cop cars and a group of cops hanging out eating french fries. I wrote a letter to my local paper. I doubt it will change anything, but I am sure the PD won't appreciate the negative publicity if it gets published.
Piss on the cops house because you've learnt now that apparently it's ok
SuperMew
22
If you have the money, I would recommend getting a fence, and a sturdy gate, so at least people might be deterred a little from entering the property.
Friday is payday, who can guess what my next project is? Thanks to everyone who suggested an electric fence, the mental image of the guy pissing on it cracked me up!
i'm sorry, but the police are full of crap in my opinion
time to start target practice with a bb gun
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Please tell the police to get their heads out of their asses and do their jobs! Y'know, the one we're paying for with tax money!
He's still damaging your property, so he could be charged with vandalism or a similar offense.