By NRFTW - 17/12/2013 05:10 - United States - Denver

Today, I caught a man standing on my porch, urinating on my house. I called the cops, who informed me that because my porch isn't fenced off, it's not trespassing, and because it's private property not visible from the street, the man wasn't urinating in public. FML
I agree, your life sucks 51 260
You deserved it 3 707

NRFTW tells us more.

A little more detail: This guy had wandered over from a party next door. It was almost 1 a.m., and during the holidays I work really late, so I came home, put my stuff away, and when I turned around there was a guy standing literally at my window, on my porch, pissing on my house. I walked out and started screaming at him (I know, probably not smart) to get the **** off of my property. He said, "I'm just takin' a leak," finished his business, zipped up his pants, and leaned against the porch staring at me. That's when my brain caught up with what I was doing and I went back inside and called the cops. My porch runs the length of my (very small) house. The porch is open without a railing, and at this time there were also several other men sitting on my porch right under my bedroom window (closest to my neighbors yard). When I called, Weld County dispatch first told me that the police were "too busy" to come out, and I ended up on the phone with a cop. He asked if the porch was fenced (no) and if it could be seen from the main road (no). I stupidly thought he was trying to locate my house, as it is hard to find. According to the laws in my city, once you ask someone to leave your property and they refuse, it is trespassing. I told them multiple times to leave my property, and one of them had the nerve to tell me "I can sit where ever I want."

Top comments

skittycat213 19

Please tell the police to get their heads out of their asses and do their jobs! Y'know, the one we're paying for with tax money!

He's still damaging your property, so he could be charged with vandalism or a similar offense.

Comments

Just buy a gun. When he goes to pee shoot him in the leg, or dick, whichever you prefer.

The rack of a shotgun loading might have changed their tune.

Please explain if its not private property and its not public property then WHAT is it?

My wife turned a hosepipe on someone under similar circumstances - he was constantly allowing his dog to mess on our driveway. He didn't like it and ran away swearing. Dog didn't like it either. Buy a hosepipe!

I'm sorry about that. At least it's the outside and wood cleans well. I can't believe the excuse the police made though. They should have taken some sort of action, because it IS your private property!

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Truth: The cops didn't feel like dealing with it. Next time pepper spray.