Intimacy: Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a...

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 21:04 - United States - Carpentersville

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 290

You deserved it 4 480

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By Anonymous - 04/06/2015 07:06 - United States - Corning

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 374

You deserved it 4 379

By Anonymous - 25/09/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 239

You deserved it 7 063

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 285

You deserved it 2 450

Spyware

By Anonymous - 26/06/2009 01:00 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Everything was going great until I noticed a small blinking light on my shelf. It turns out that it was a camera. My mom put it there to make sure I cleaned my room. She saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 823

You deserved it 10 930

By awkward O_o - 24/04/2013 21:15 - United States - Saint Paul

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 793

You deserved it 4 922

WTF roomie?

By JN5SLK - 08/11/2013 22:29 - United States - Salt Lake City

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 069

You deserved it 4 646

By tracy4191 - 18/09/2016 05:21 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 551

You deserved it 737

By Anonymous - 01/12/2014 17:55 - United States

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 722

You deserved it 15 204

By lunchbox2353 - 30/07/2019 02:00 - United States

Today, for 20 minutes, I watched my girlfriend use a mini flashlight to look for her keys in her purse. The flashlight was on her key chain. As were her keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 745

You deserved it 384

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 06:00

Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 839

You deserved it 235

perdix 29

Saturday 21 September 2013 5:02

She's not too bright, is she?

ticktockbaboom 6

Saturday 21 September 2013 5:02

Hey, times are tough

Comments

piworld4 5

Sunday 22 September 2013 7:23

Bet that gave you a shock

oyemba 6

Sunday 22 September 2013 10:33

Blame it on the economy! Everything is getting more expensive.

yourlifeissucks 8

Sunday 22 September 2013 11:41

does it still works? then no problem.

Slimbo305 11

Sunday 22 September 2013 15:12

Its like a dark scary cave in there. She turned the lights on and bats flew out

JennNoVa 8

Sunday 22 September 2013 18:01

Nasty. I shudder to think how you made this unwelcome discovery!

MixMastaKDizzle 12

Sunday 22 September 2013 22:56

Oh lawd..

BEButterfly 13

Monday 23 September 2013 0:29

That's someone who's extreme desperate for an ******!

robberry 11

Monday 23 September 2013 1:06

It's a shame you're not a male.

nachosbabygurl 9

Monday 23 September 2013 4:32

time to get a new room mate

Funnyguyproblems 1

Monday 23 September 2013 4:57

Keywords

Annoying Education University Confused Sex Love Divorce Awkward AITA Relatable Dreams Miscellaneous Embarrassing Work Racism Weird Pregnancy Kids Cute Motherhood Harassment Animals Family Poopoo peepee Surprise Food Roommate Health Texting My ex

The Top

Today, I was using the toilet at a friend's house when the toilet made a strange gurgling noise. Thinking it was just old plumbing, I flushed. The water started rising... and rising. Before I knew it, water, and whatever was in the toilet, began overflowing and flooding the bathroom. I had to go ask for help, and a mop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 417

You deserved it 93

Today, I was talking to my mother about my sex life, telling her, "If I want to have sex, I'm going to have sex." She looked at me for a moment and said, "You're staying a virgin until you get married." She wasn't ordering me, she was informing me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 316

You deserved it 8 595

The Top

Today, I was feeling frisky for the first time in months, so I started feeling up my husband. He kept insisting he had a headache and that he wasn't feeling it tonight. When I noticed his sarcasm, he said "Yeah, doesn't feel so great, does it?" and turned the TV volume up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 071

You deserved it 61 361

Today, I had to temporarily remove the drain pipe under the sink. I absentmindedly poured the stinky water from the trap into the now drainless sink, and flooded the cupboard I was working in with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 209

You deserved it 514

Today, I was taking a walk with a girl I really like. Trying to impress her, I mentioned I'd just learned how to do a front flip, and she told me to prove it. I did the flip, but stumbled forward on the landing and smacked head-first into a pole. She's still laughing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 244

You deserved it 27 655

Today, my 18-year-old boyfriend freaked out and kept asking me if I was sure I wouldn't get pregnant, because I forgot to take my birth control pill last night. We didn't actually have sex; he apparently thought me simply missing the pill would magically get me pregnant. The hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 876

You deserved it 6 047

Today, I found the purse that some asshat stole from my 15-year-old sister a few days ago. I found it in my now ex-boyfriend's closet. When I confronted him, he broke up with me for "invading" his privacy and kicked me out, without the purse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 266

You deserved it 3 927

Today, my boyfriend taught my son to do his chores. Not real chores, but "Runescape chores" on my boyfriend's account. My son won't pick up his toys or put his shoes away, but he'll jump on the computer to grow plants or cut trees or some other stupid shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 802

You deserved it 225