Intimacy: Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a... - FML

By Anonymous - 20/09/2013 21:04 - United States - Carpentersville

Spicy

Today, I caught my roommate trying to use my flashlight as a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 294

You deserved it 4 482

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By Anonymous - 04/06/2015 07:06 - United States - Corning

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my roommate with her ass cheeks spread wide, and her friend ripping a strip of wax off of her while wearing a headlamp flashlight to see if she "got it all". FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 378

You deserved it 4 379

By Anonymous - 25/09/2013 21:33 - United Kingdom

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my roommate whacking off to clown porn. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 244

You deserved it 7 063

By Anonymous - 07/05/2016 01:40 - United States - Walnut

Spicy

Today, I walked in on my mom in the bathroom, washing a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 288

You deserved it 2 451

Spyware

By Anonymous - 26/06/2009 01:00 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend and I were having sex. Everything was going great until I noticed a small blinking light on my shelf. It turns out that it was a camera. My mom put it there to make sure I cleaned my room. She saw the whole thing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 829

You deserved it 10 932

By awkward O_o - 24/04/2013 21:15 - United States - Saint Paul

Spicy

Today, I found out that my roommate has a masturbation problem; the problem is that he does it in my bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 799

You deserved it 4 923

WTF roomie?

By JN5SLK - 08/11/2013 22:29 - United States - Salt Lake City

Spicy

Today, I walked into my dorm room, only to witness my roommate shaving her vag over my trashcan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 074

You deserved it 4 647

By tracy4191 - 18/09/2016 05:21 - United States - Ponchatoula

Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 558

You deserved it 737

By Anonymous - 01/12/2014 17:55 - United States

Spicy

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 736

You deserved it 15 210

By lunchbox2353 - 30/07/2019 02:00 - United States

Today, for 20 minutes, I watched my girlfriend use a mini flashlight to look for her keys in her purse. The flashlight was on her key chain. As were her keys. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 746

You deserved it 385

How very dare you?

By Anonymous - 14/05/2019 06:00

Spicy

Today, I came home from work and found my sister using my vibrator in my own bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 853

You deserved it 239

Next

Top comments

perdix 29

Saturday 21 September 2013 5:02

She's not too bright, is she?

ticktockbaboom 6

Saturday 21 September 2013 5:02

Hey, times are tough

Comments

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 21 September 2013 20:31

First it's yours doesn't she have her own flashlight to ********** with?

Googsy8921 1

Saturday 21 September 2013 21:07

It's about time someone found her G-spot

maggiefox 25

Saturday 21 September 2013 21:40

Guess it's her flashlight now...

Xotoolyxo 16

Saturday 21 September 2013 22:18

She owes you a new flashlight

happyfingers 15

Saturday 21 September 2013 23:17

Well that situation could've been a lot better... But it also could've been worse, right? And least it was just a flashlight. And now you know what to get her for her next birthday/Christmas!

musicophilia 3

Sunday 22 September 2013 1:52

"Trying" to use it? Does that mean s/he didn't succeed? LOL!

tegraturbo2000 15

Sunday 22 September 2013 4:21

maybe there is a bright side to the situation

oyemba 6

Sunday 22 September 2013 10:34

The light?

jimmywithsalt 19

Sunday 22 September 2013 4:44

I have to wonder.. Which end was, uh, in?

abeg157 14

Sunday 22 September 2013 5:20

Hm, at least you don't eat with it. Trust me, another roommate op had it a tad bit worse. Hope you can sort it out.

cerberes_fml 3

Sunday 22 September 2013 5:59

you spelt that wrong. its fleshlight

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Keywords

Love Christmas Break-ups Miscellaneous Gross Poopoo peepee Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Relatable You're fired Cars Work Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids Family DIY Cats Sex Roommate Am I overreacting? Intimacy Management

The Top

Today, I found out that in the three years I've been dating my boyfriend, his parents have secretly been going through all of his emails, including the ones I've sent him with "sexy" pictures attached. I can't look his parents in the eye without being reminded that they've both seen me naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 300

You deserved it 14 749

Today, my girlfriend’s dad has a sword he inherited from his dad that he claims links their family to the old Swiss nobility. I work in a museum so I know most of the makers' marks on swords, so I’m not sure how to tell him his sword is a reproduction made in Spain less than 100 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 429

You deserved it 84

The Top

Today, to impress my friends, I attempted to do a back flip. The only one impressed was the doctor who set my broken leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 978

You deserved it 38 439

Today, my boyfriend told me that I look better in different kinds of light. I asked him which kind of light I looked best in. His reply? "No light at all." FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 264

You deserved it 6 809

Today, I went to a pain specialist to get help with my chronic pain. He did not diagnose anything or discuss causes. He then said, "Good luck with that" as I left. Of course, I still got billed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 428

You deserved it 75

Today, after finding out that my mom is diabetic last year in November, this July a good friend of mine died from diabetes. I also found out that my dad is diabetic, as well as my grandma. It would appear that Wilford Brimley hates my guts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 717

You deserved it 124

Today, I was outside using a power sander. I forgot to put on mosquito repellent and a mosquito started biting me. My only somewhat-free hand was holding the power sander. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 952

You deserved it 2 750

Today, my boyfriend came in to kiss me. Being sweaty and nasty, I said "Not now, I'm hot and sweaty." He looked at me blankly and said "So am I, just smell my ball sweat." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 213

You deserved it 7 501