Animals: Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes...

By Username - 13/02/2011 02:17 - United States

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 719

You deserved it 3 722

The rhythm of the fight
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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/04/2013 19:38 - United Kingdom - Bridgnorth

Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 527

You deserved it 8 485

By Livingthedream - 12/08/2018 06:00

Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 957

You deserved it 469

By dirtyfoot - 18/01/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 106

You deserved it 2 445

My reward

By KittenShitz - 25/12/2019 14:00

Today, I felt accomplished after I cleaned the whole house alone, but then I stepped backwards to admire my work and stepped into a pile of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 766

You deserved it 337

By RustyBulletHole - 04/02/2009 07:53 - United States

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 169

You deserved it 2 358

By morphea - 29/04/2015 22:54 - France - Chantepie

Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 775

You deserved it 2 674

Treasure hunt

By Catois - 05/03/2010 05:17 - United States

Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 776

You deserved it 13 230

Tetchy

By Anonymous - 26/11/2023 00:00

Today, I got home and my wife asked me why I hadn’t taken the bin out or cleaned the living room. I asked her why she hadn’t done it since she got fired 6 months ago for laziness and since then has sat on her ass watching daytime TV instead of job searching. She threw a mug at my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 915

You deserved it 166

Pick it up

By Cassie - 02/05/2011 00:21

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 391

You deserved it 50 994

By Dogmom - 18/12/2018 17:30

Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 258

You deserved it 281

Miss_gord 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 10:10

"stupid dog you make me look bad":)

forthepainx3 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 10:20

maybe it was your wife and she was blaming the dog? :o

Comments

blackarrow_fml 7

Sunday 13 February 2011 10:26

man's best friend? i think not!! xD

Decodedman 1

Sunday 13 February 2011 10:45

Break out the peanut butter. Damn dog owes you.

skiier4life 1

Sunday 13 February 2011 10:52

Grodi

hollylollyxoxo 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 18:20

lol

saleha97 4

Sunday 13 February 2011 10:46

Your dog ***** inside the house? Then you must be lazy for not taking a walk with the dog.

ErbodyLuvsDaLulz 4

Sunday 13 February 2011 11:11

What a coincidence...

PeteyPablo12308 20

Sunday 13 February 2011 11:21

Smart dog. Seriously though... Why the **** haven't you trained your dog to potty outside? LMAO but that is pretty funny.

heyidcstfu 0

Sunday 13 February 2011 11:30

when our dogs have done that we bring the dog up to the shit, put their nose real close and yell no a few times and give em a few whacks on the back side. they never did it twice. also clean it with something like bleach water so they can't smell wahtever it is that smells like a bathroom to them.

Decodedman 1

Monday 14 February 2011 3:29

I foresee a really interesting world if we could apply that to every occasion. A world of men with pubic hair up their noses and women with lemony fresh coochies..