Animals: Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered...

By RustyBulletHole - 04/02/2009 07:53 - United States

Today, I got up at 5am, brushed my teeth, shaved and showered to get ready for work only to step barefoot in a huge pile of dog crap in the middle of my living room floor. I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 169

You deserved it 2 358

Christmas: Snowy Joys and Blunders
Enjoy Christmas stories where unexpected gifts and family reunions create lasting memories... and fun! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By dirtyfoot - 18/01/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 106

You deserved it 2 445

By unknown - 04/02/2011 08:11

Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 654

You deserved it 5 974

By Anonymous - 10/11/2011 17:07 - Ireland

Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 832

You deserved it 7 670

My reward

By KittenShitz - 25/12/2019 14:00

Today, I felt accomplished after I cleaned the whole house alone, but then I stepped backwards to admire my work and stepped into a pile of dog poop. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 765

You deserved it 336

By StinkFoot - 28/10/2018 13:30

Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 852

You deserved it 373

By life_suxxx - 17/12/2009 06:09 - United States

Today, I come home to find that my dog has taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He also took a dump in my house shoe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 557

You deserved it 4 902

By Livingthedream - 12/08/2018 06:00

Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 955

You deserved it 467

By simple living - 29/04/2015 02:43 - United States - Austin

Today, my dog threw up on the tiled floor. I found out at 6 this morning in the dark when I slipped and fell in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 875

You deserved it 2 680

By Username - 13/02/2011 02:17 - United States

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 715

You deserved it 3 722

By sammyxoxo - 18/12/2011 08:32 - Canada

Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 781

You deserved it 2 779

thecowbellskit 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 1:09

i hate when that happens.

agsilver 14

Friday 30 November 2012 2:43

Here's a tip, NOONE ******* CARES

Comments

greenman_fml 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 14:22

looks like somebody sleep-*****

GiddyXD 0

Monday 5 April 2010 14:28

yeah lols

KRYPTON1T3 5

Tuesday 22 February 2011 6:31

lol. exactly what I thought. hopefully no one lives with you or that would be tough to explain.

clare_fml 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 17:21

I had a dream about stepping in dog crap last night! fml

agsilver 14

Friday 30 November 2012 2:43

Here's a tip, NOONE ******* CARES

vfscx0aw6o7jshl 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 17:58

I seriously doubt this is true.

svsockerguy 0

Wednesday 4 February 2009 23:33

good sir, you have just sit on your carpet

thecowbellskit 0

Saturday 7 February 2009 1:09

i hate when that happens.

Emmy_The_Great 2

Friday 3 September 2010 20:15

LOL 11

ashlyn88 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:04

Sameee :/

LoLoLo_fml 0

Friday 13 February 2009 5:03

Please, please shed some light on this story!!

alotta_fachina 0

Sunday 22 February 2009 10:49

lol wut

mirage1 0

Thursday 5 March 2009 15:14

You've seriously got to give more details here.

ummmyeahhh 0

Tuesday 10 March 2009 3:44

#16 FTW.

ashlyn88 0

Tuesday 6 September 2011 4:06

Agreed

istaybrutal9 0

Sunday 15 March 2009 15:36

Were you in the wrong house?

Keywords

Coworkers Work Dogs Animals Transportation Cars Miscellaneous Photography Art Videos Love Awkward Health Money Scams My ex Sex Family AITA Healthy Lifestyle Am I overreacting? Babies Kids Sleep Mental health Parents Cheating Break-ups Social Media Friends

The Top

Today, I learned the meaning behind the phrase, "Love you long time". It's from the movie Full Metal Jacket, when a hooker comes in and says, "Me so horny, me love you long time." I've been saying this to my parents and people at school, having no idea what it really means for over 2 weeks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 784

You deserved it 22 705

Today, I followed my daughter and found out she wasn’t with friends, she was on a date. I confronted her about the lie, but she takes after her mother, a lawyer, and steamrollered over me about invading her privacy, so even though she lied, she somehow has the moral high ground. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 2 707

The Top

Today, I had a small gathering of family and friends over to celebrate my son's baptism. One of my friends happens to be a police officer. The entire event consisted of him arresting three of my family members. Don't worry, he came back to get some cake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 440

You deserved it 4 401

Today, I was crying at my desk at work. My colleague tried to cheer me up by saying: "Don't worry, I'm sure you will find a new job soon". I didn't even know I was fired. I was crying because my cat died this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62 461

You deserved it 4 261

Today, I scored two prime baseball tickets from a supplier at work. I phoned my dad to tell him the good news. He said that's great, my brother and him would love to see the game. I said, no, I'm taking you to the game. He told me I was being selfish and hung up the phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 68 789

You deserved it 3 081

Today, my mom noticed the hickey that I have on my neck. Embarrassed, I tried convincing her that I burnt myself using a hair straightener. She then told me that that's the same excuse she told my grandma when she got a hickey. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 916

You deserved it 47 007

Today, my wife, who I haven’t seen for over a month because we both travel a lot for work, got home. The last thing she said to me was that she couldn't wait to get home because she just wants some alone time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 833

You deserved it 230

Today, after a full year of absolutely zero social interaction, I realized that I don’t miss it. At all. FML

I agree, your life sucks 790

You deserved it 212

Same thing different taste

My reward

Top comments

Comments