Names, Awkward, Babies and Work: Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me...

By Anonymous - 06/01/2012 22:49 - United States

Today, I couldn't contain my laughter when a patient told me she'd named her unborn daughter Twinkie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 253

You deserved it 5 375

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Same thing different taste

Knowledge is power

By andy - 28/01/2013 04:36 - United States - Long Beach

Today, on my shift as a nurse, I asked a pregnant woman what she would name her child. She said she saw the name "Chlamydia" on a billboard and decided to name her daughter that, saying it was "beautiful." I informed her that it was an STD, and she replied, "Oh, well no one knows that!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 356

You deserved it 2 848

By Anonymous - 29/10/2010 23:53 - United States

Today, I sent the girl I like a Twinkie with a note saying "Enjoy! You deserve it". I found out later through an angry email that someone had written "you damn fatty" on the end of the note. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 180

You deserved it 6 920

By baby names - 23/09/2018 22:00

Today, I helped a lady give birth on the train. She was so happy she asked if she could name the baby after me, but as I told her my name she visibly turned her nose up at it, turned to her husband, and suggested naming it after his grandfather instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 347

You deserved it 283

By lawdy - 21/05/2017 20:00

Today, I told my daughter that she's going to be a big sister, because there is a baby growing in my tummy. She's been sobbing because I can't convince her that I didn't eat a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 480

You deserved it 640

By anotherfmladdict - 26/09/2013 07:06 - United States - Muscatine

Today, my 15-year-old daughter said she wanted to become a "baby name expert". I chortled, until I looked it up. They actually exist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 016

You deserved it 5 291

By Anonymous - 16/08/2009 17:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend named my penis "little baby carrot." FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 113

You deserved it 10 955

Cool rapper name

By Dor51 - 27/10/2013 19:52 - United States - Tacoma

Today, we found out that my unborn sibling is a girl, and my parents quickly named her. In a few years' time, "Candida" is going to catch all kinds of shit at school, just like I do for being named Dorothy. My "friends" have already started calling me "Lil' yeast infection's sis." FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 553

You deserved it 3 049

By noway - 03/01/2014 11:03 - France - Cholet

Today, my French wife chose the name of our unborn baby girl. She wants to call her Fanny and won't change her mind. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 925

You deserved it 5 313

By numbnuts - 23/09/2013 05:48 - Canada - Nanaimo

Today, my 2-year-old daughter overheard my wife and I arguing and fixated on one particular insult my wife threw at me. Now my daughter won't stop saying "Daddy a numbnuts", always with a big smile on her face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 499

You deserved it 6 062

By -___- - 14/09/2012 23:06 - Sweden - Stockholm

Today, my five-year-old daughter asked me why moms don't swallow clothes, so that their babies won't be born naked. My husband burst into derisive laughter, and has now trained her into responding to the name "Derp-Derp." FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 665

You deserved it 3 353

desireev 17

Saturday 7 January 2012 0:41

What is wrong with parents nowadays?! Do they hate their kids? There was a mother who was on the news because she named her child "Facebook Me Soon".. WTF?!?!

ihasbrains 10

Saturday 7 January 2012 1:31

Heard people would name their kids things like Sparta so that they could introduce them like this: 'THIS, IS, SPARTA!' Gotta admit, it's kind of funny.

Comments

Torva_fml 16

Saturday 7 January 2012 0:50

I don't blame you.

RabidBunny 10

Saturday 7 January 2012 0:51

I hate my name, but now I'm glad my parents didn't name me after a food product! They might have cared after all! :D

iDaniel525 8

Saturday 7 January 2012 1:44

RabidBunny is a pretty cool name.

nfjskcbdkdjdjdn 2

Saturday 7 January 2012 0:52

At least the baby is a girl. Just imagine all of the hate that poor kid would get if it was a boy!

A100893 30

Saturday 7 January 2012 0:52

The mother must've been having some odd pregnant cravings again.

HappyJello 7

Saturday 7 January 2012 7:03

Hopefully that was all. I hope she wasn't serious...

Angelrose2004 17

Saturday 7 January 2012 0:53

Makes me feel better about my name being Destany. Poor child!

DrMaverickRanger 4

Saturday 7 January 2012 8:13

Destany? Can your parents not spell?

Michelle_74617 1

Saturday 7 January 2012 0:53

Well that I a wonderful name

koolkat27 13

Wednesday 7 March 2012 7:31

what?

MadameMerle 11

Saturday 7 January 2012 0:53

I don't want to live on this planet anymore

DocBastard 38

Saturday 7 January 2012 0:53

Parents who pull this kind of shit should be arrested for child abuse. Saddling your child with a bullshit name like this GUARANTEES that the child will be bullied and ridiculed. The mother should be forced to change her legal name to "Imafucking Halfwit".

Awsemogreeb 19

Saturday 7 January 2012 0:58

I'm too scared to ask for the story behind your new picture.

BeaterOfTheDrums 15

Saturday 7 January 2012 1:00

No truer words have ever been typed.

THE_A_TEEN 27

Saturday 7 January 2012 1:05

Don't forget that shit names like this will possibly ruin their chances for a successful future. I mean really, what kind of sane interviewer/boss would want to hire a person called [crazy name] williams, or whatever?

DaKillaMafia 2

Saturday 7 January 2012 1:19

Question Doc, I read that you don't usually take bullets out of patients. Wouldn't the lead be a problem for the person later on? I'm probably wrong, and it probably doesn't harm the body. You know more than me.

Isoldael 27

Saturday 7 January 2012 1:22

Or you just call your kid DocBastard. That could only lead to good things, right?

DocBastard 38

Saturday 7 January 2012 1:52

DaKilla - no, leaving the bullet poses essentially no risk.

DaKillaMafia 2

Saturday 7 January 2012 7:39

Thanks for clarifying that. I learned something new today.

10oclockSteve 5

Saturday 7 January 2012 0:54

It pisses me off when people name their kids stupid things like twinkie... Seriously wtf.

silverstar93 3

Friday 9 March 2018 20:03

right?! like a puppy or a kitty it would be cute. but were talking about s child who is gonna try to make it in this world... who knows as a lawyer or a doctor. like no one will everr take this kid seriously... it's heartwrenching