Geek: Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven...

By BelleCharmante - 14/07/2011 04:50 - United States

Today, I couldn't shut a drawer in my kitchen, because an oven mitt was blocking it. An oven mitt filled with tin-foil wrapped electronics. My Mom believes Internet hackers can get into her digital camera and prepaid cell phone, and apparently tin-foil will prevent that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 233

You deserved it 2 340

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Same thing different taste

Hazardous

By Anonymous - 28/09/2016 13:08 - United Kingdom - London

Today, my kitchen is trying to kill me. So far, I've hit my head three times on cupboards that opened themselves, cut open my hand on the microwave door when it slammed shut, and burned my cheek with the "heat-proof" oven mitt when I pushed the hair off my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 271

You deserved it 2 507

By .. - 13/09/2011 14:48 - United States

Today, I was in a hurry to get something out of the oven, so I quickly grabbed my roommate's only oven mitt and grabbed the pan in the oven. It didn't take long to figure out there was a hole in it when my thumb hit the hot pan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 249

You deserved it 4 123

By Jlipka - 22/05/2010 02:33 - United States

Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 857

You deserved it 5 604

I've got blisters on my fingers

By Owie - 09/11/2023 05:00 - United States

Today, I learned the hard way that my oven mitt has a hole. Time to get a new one, whenever my finger stops burning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 454

You deserved it 112

Spooked

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 05:08

Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a makeshift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 801

You deserved it 6 777

Domestic bliss

By Emma - 08/12/2015 17:23 - United States

Today, I had to hide the entire drawer of kitchen knives under my bed just to keep my mother from stabbing her cheating boyfriend, and slashing his tires. This happens more often than I'd like to admit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 303

You deserved it 1 581

One hand freestyle

By Clumsy idiot - 27/10/2023 09:00 - United States

Today, I got way too used to using two oven mitts at once to take food out of the oven since I'm so clumsy. So, when I tried to take food out of the oven with the only one oven mitt I could find… Well, take a wild guess what happened. Go on, just try and guess it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 164

You deserved it 365

By smarterthanmymum - 26/05/2011 09:48 - United Kingdom

Today, I had to explain very slowly to my mum why she cannot put metal cutlery in the microwave. She did it anyway. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 280

You deserved it 2 992

Non confrontational

By Anonymous - 04/05/2023 03:00

Today, I snuck into my aunt's house while she was working to raid her pantry, like I do most days. Excited for a snack cake, I went to the pantry. Apparently she'd found out, because there was a lock on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 96

You deserved it 2 034

Incinerate

By Laurence - 07/11/2024 09:00 - United States - Memphis

Today, while cooking dinner, I managed to set my oven mitt on fire. In my panic, I tried to throw it in the sink, but it landed on a stack of t-shirts, which were lying on the counter. Both the mitt and my favorite Sonic Youth t-shirt now have matching burn holes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 169

You deserved it 403

takeapieandrun 9

Thursday 14 July 2011 12:01

Those camera hackers have been getting out of hand recently...

SimmoRocks 1

Thursday 14 July 2011 11:58

Your Mom is retarded. FYL

Comments

rwq891 4

Friday 15 July 2011 6:37

Is she single?

thisonetimeonly 0

Friday 15 July 2011 6:56

dude that is an actually common symptom of schizophrenia..

mrsjewkes182 0

Friday 15 July 2011 7:07

wow and i thought my mom was bad for being freaked that furbies were japans way to spy on us....

KiddFlash 0

Friday 15 July 2011 7:12

Paranoid much

taurusxdee 10

Friday 15 July 2011 7:13

LMFAO! That's hilarious!

polskirycerz324 0

Friday 15 July 2011 8:16

as long as she doesnt think that the kgb wants to kill her or little green men are following her that aint so bad

cengle1938 0

Friday 15 July 2011 9:10

your mom is either stupid or crazy. or both.

sky22_fml 7

Friday 15 July 2011 9:53

She sounds really cool

katiesAmazing 0

Friday 15 July 2011 13:03

your mums insane!... everyone knows that the only thing tin stops from hacking into things is aliens 0.0

aubsx3 0

Saturday 16 July 2011 0:52

she means that thy can derbies through the lenses retard so yeah tin foil will help...

Keywords

Food Toxic Miscellaneous Family Gross Valentine's Day Love Health Home improvement Homeowners Awkward Drugs Kids Babysitter Music Lonely Crush Wanker Intimacy Relatable Cats Animals Work Coworkers Airplanes Transportation Sleep Embarrassing Mental health Cute

The Top

Today, my boyfriend got me and a male colleague written up. He thinks I’m having a affair because I made a cake and bought a present for his birthday. He made up a story and told my boss that we’re fucking. My colleague ended up getting transferred to another unit. Hope you’re happy now, babe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 385

Today, after registering my cellphone as my secondary authentication device for my campus account, it died for good. Despite still being logged in, most of my college's services are now locked behind a code sent to my unresponsive phone, including the ability to register any new authentication devices. FML

I agree, your life sucks 932

You deserved it 172

The Top

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 513

You deserved it 4 848

Today, I found out I have a daughter. How did I find out? She added me on Facebook. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 794

You deserved it 18 118

Today, I put out a public ad for a dancing buddy. No pictures, just a brief description of what I was looking for. A guy answered and we started chatting. The more he revealed, the more familiar he sounded. Yep! That's him! My stalker from 10 years ago. Guess I have to move. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 746

You deserved it 399

Today, after about fifteen minutes of my cat bullying me into letting him get onto my lap, I finally caved. He clambered on, turned around, farted in my direction and got off as fast as he got on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 426

You deserved it 77

Today, I found out that just because you're drunk, it doesn't make it okay to call your mother-in-law a fat slag. However, it does make it okay for your wife to knee you in the snow globes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 993

You deserved it 47 294

Today, I was giving a presentation in front of my class. Mid-speech, I felt a sudden urge to sneeze and tried to hold it in. Instead, I let out the most obnoxious, window-rattling sneeze imaginable, complete with a spray of snot, which landed on my notes. I think I traumatized my classmates for life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 406

You deserved it 114