Look, OP, you opened a can of worms here. Adoptees are everywhere and you posted this online, where you likely to find the least sympathy out of a lot of places, really. There were probably reasons you did this, and I'm sure you feel they were valid, but an adoptee's head is a scary place. And she's probably really scared/hurt/betrayed/lost/confused/hurt right now. She'll be okay but it's going to take some time. Adoption is a healing process, and not only has she been freshly cut, she was wounded way back too.

I can understand waiting until a child is old enough to understand before telling them they're adopted, but WHY in the hell did you flat out lie and make up stories about her birth? If it were me, I would eventually adjust to the fact that I was adopted, and that you hadn't told me earlier, but I would NEVER have forgiven you for flat out LYING! If your daughter hates you for the rest of your life, I wouldn't blame her.

Oh wow... I hope you've got good insurance... I see lots of therapy in your family's future!

I think your daughter would be happy to know about how much people on a website care about her : Anyway, I don't think what the OP did was saying that adoption is bad, but it's the simple fact that suddenly finding out your adopted is a pretty big blow. If I suddenly found out I was adopted, it would probably affect me, in the same way that if a man finds out he's not the biological father it can also be traumatising. YDI.

Thats terrible! why didn't you just tell her when she was little, why lie to her like that? it probably did more damage now than it would've when she was little. YDI

Didn't you ever read any advice at all about being an adoptive parents? There's lots of information out there. Nobody said you have to follow all of the advice, but I am sure that little snippet about how to tell your child he/she is adopted would have probably revealed some useful ideas.

You're messed up and have issues, OP. Lying to your daughter like that, when you knew for a fact that you had adopted her? Now how can she trust anything you've ever told her? The best adoptive parents let the children know from day 1 that they were hand-picked and chosen to be in the family. You, on the other hand, lie through your teeth about all of it. This should've been your daughter's fml in that she thought she was your biological daughter all this time, but found out that you had been lying to her for her entire life!

Yes, your life is ******. It's more ****** than you know, because firstly, you had the audacity to lie to your own daughter, yes she is adopted, but she is your, own, *******, daughter. How could you lie to her, even going so far as to make up stories of her birth. I don't know how old she is, but I assume she is beyond her tottler years, since she obviously heard stories of her own birth. I wouldn't be surprised if she never trusts you again. And you know what? You would deserve it. Not telling your child something like that is one thing. Lying to her, and considering that you told her and making up stories is another. I'm not even going to try asking why. The rest of your miserable existence is going to be a lot different. You may have left a permanent scar, and she is now going to feel as though she should be ashamed of the fact that she was adopted. What a horrible, stupid, insecure, cowardly, failure of an adopted parent you are. This, or rather the results of it, are almost as bad as child abuse. Imagine knowing that you had been lied to for your entire life about something as important as your parents. I have to give you this though, at least you told her eventually, and she didn't have to find out from another source. I'm not going to continue my rant, I'm simply going to let this play out. Enjoy yourself.

I'm not going to say anything bad really but, "her adoptive status within MY family"???? So did you never consider her really to be apart of YOUR/THE family? How horrible dude. I know a few adopted kids and they had a lot of problems, mostly self inflicted b/c they were selfish and felt abandoned so I understand why you would wait but you shouldn't separate her from YOUR family. She is apart of the family, hopefully you didn't estrange her.

I'm adopted. I've always known I was adopted. It's never been a big deal since I've always known. Lying to someone about being adopted is just plain STUPID, IMMATURE, and IRRESPONSIBLE. WTF are you afraid of? Admitting to yourself that they aren't biologically yours? I've met my birth parents and I can tell you that they are in no way, shape, or form my "mom" or "dad" Parents are who raise you. The people who care for you and are your family. I think it says a lot about a "parent" who lies to a child about being adopted. It sounds like they're ashamed of it.. which is freaking ridiculous. I only hope your daughter realizes that being adopted isn't that big of a deal. And I REALLY hope mom pulls her head out of her ass and stops lying about it!