Animals: Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's... - FML

By birdsterrifyme - 23/03/2015 04:42 - United States - Sikeston

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 166

You deserved it 4 374

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Same thing different taste

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 898

You deserved it 3 639

By xacked - 02/06/2009 06:39 - United States

Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking there and the bird attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 433

You deserved it 61 673

Impressive

By Anonymous - 19/03/2009 02:57 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 437

You deserved it 19 348

Freedom!

By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 516

By Anonymous - 08/02/2012 17:45

Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 002

You deserved it 2 223

Impressive

By Anonymous - 18/01/2021 04:58

Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 206

By How? - 29/09/2018 10:30 - United States - Glasford

Today, a bird crashed into my face. I didn't think that actually happened to people outside of cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 027

You deserved it 212

By margretlle - 26/04/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 744

You deserved it 8 415

By Anna - 15/06/2012 09:43 - United States - Buellton

Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 770

You deserved it 51 777

Get the **** outta here, kid

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to take a picture next to a peacock, but ended up running away with a face and mouth full of feathers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 926

Next

Top comments

jqmalang 17

Monday 23 March 2015 16:49

"face your fears" they said. "you'll be stronger" they said.

yuno_gasai_fml 34

Monday 23 March 2015 16:03

I hope you're ok op :)

Comments

Vickeh 15

Monday 23 March 2015 16:16

Props for trying to confront your fears. Since I've had many birds in the past, I would suggest you to start with a very docile bird such as a Love Bird... nice little creatures

rizzkiyoshi 19

Monday 23 March 2015 16:57

my love bird was an asshole. I prefer cockatiels

TypoFairy 20

Tuesday 24 March 2015 17:17

Love Birds, Cockatiels, Budgies, Quaker Parrots. A good percentage of them are gentle and fairly easy to handle.

dreamful_artist 14

Monday 23 March 2015 16:17

At least you tried to face your fears! One step closer to totally getting rid of it op.

ajs1987 15

Monday 23 March 2015 16:18

It could've been worse, what if it attacked your pecker?

sunnyskys 25

Monday 23 March 2015 17:01

Could also be meaning a persons nose. but I guess that wouldn't make sence, since it was there face.

kikoma 32

Monday 23 March 2015 16:21

Suppose you are afraid of birds even more now... :/

BDanzeisen 20

Monday 23 March 2015 16:22

Polly wanna cracker?

nityasomaiya 46

Tuesday 24 March 2015 12:02

Cheep *peck*

sharkgirl4 23

Monday 23 March 2015 16:23

I feel you OP, I'm terrified of birds. They can sense your fear. A few weeks ago I was on a restaurant patio with my boyfriend when a duck suddenly landed on my lap and I nearly had a heart attack while everyone laughed.

more4me 27

Tuesday 24 March 2015 9:01

WTH ?!!! That would probably make me pee my pants right there! You are brave !

missbrit818 20

Monday 23 March 2015 16:29

Well at least you were strong enough to try go conquer a fear!

jqmalang 17

Monday 23 March 2015 16:49

"face your fears" they said. "you'll be stronger" they said.

Zarcissa 34

Monday 23 March 2015 18:18

Reminds me of the time I tried to face my fear of snakes by holding one on my hands and shoulders... the snake decided to start wrapping itself around my neck. There went my confidence, luckily the snakes' owner noticed my panic and took the snake off before things got worse.

sunnyskys 25

Monday 23 March 2015 16:59

You ain't roasting this Turkey lol, but it'll have you eyes for lunch.

Xivion 19

Monday 23 March 2015 17:02

"ahh! Bird bird! Bird! Kill it!" ~portal2

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The Top

Today, my long distance girlfriend of almost two years broke up with me because I didn't like her drinking and driving. Her reasoning was, "I don't go out that often so what's the problem?" or "I'm safe when I drive drunk." Yeah? How many drunk drivers thought the same then wrapped their car around a tree? FML

I agree, your life sucks 527

You deserved it 101

Today, after a few of my friends decided to drink last night, and my best friend ended up getting very drunk and confessing to my boyfriend that she loves him, her brother came over and gave me a lecture about responsibilities. I don't know what's worse, the lecture or the fact that her brother is my boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 898

You deserved it 164

The Top

Today, I was walking out of work. I felt like everyone was staring at me but brushed it off. It wasn't until I got home that I realized I had toilet paper sticking out of my pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 473

You deserved it 710

Today, I found out my husband cheated on me with my "best friend" on our 6-year anniversary, the 11th of November. He'd left the next morning with no explanation, and she even picked me up to go get ice cream. Three days later we even went Christmas shopping together. How could they do this? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 973

You deserved it 246

Today, I was feeling sad and lonely. I got a message from my father-in-law asking how I was. I instantly felt great that someone was thinking of me and wanted to chat. It soon became clear that the account was hacked. The hacker said more to me than my own family on the same day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 007

You deserved it 137

Today, in the senior class I teach, I asked my students who had traveled outside of the country, excluding Canada and Mexico. One student raised his hand and proudly stated, "Arizona". He wants to be a doctor. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 028

You deserved it 3 415

Today, it's been a year since my divorce. My deadbeat bipolar ex-wife is on her third boyfriend. I'm raising both our kids solo and, despite trying, have not even been able to land a single date since we seperated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 706

You deserved it 112

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't share food after I tried taking a chip from him. I made popcorn that night, and when he tried to take some, I said, "I'm sorry, I don't share food" to get him back. His response? "I can tell." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 322

You deserved it 9 638