Animals: Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's... - FML

By birdsterrifyme - 23/03/2015 04:42 - United States - Sikeston

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 166

You deserved it 4 374

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Same thing different taste

By birdbath - 08/11/2009 07:26 - United States

Today, I ran into a bird. Not with my car, with my face. It was so scared, it crapped all over me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 898

You deserved it 3 639

By xacked - 02/06/2009 06:39 - United States

Today, I was designing a newspaper page with a story about an aggressive female bird that was defending its nest and attacking students near some stairs. In the article were photos of victims who were attacked. We had a good laugh over it. Later, I was walking there and the bird attacked me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 433

You deserved it 61 673

Impressive

By Anonymous - 19/03/2009 02:57 - United States

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. In his front room was a giant parrot. Hoping to impress them, I went over to the bird and began talking to it proving I wasn't scared. Out of nowhere, it's beak clenched onto my nose making it gush blood on the carpet. I was hospitalized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 437

You deserved it 19 348

Freedom!

By Anonymous - 27/08/2024 20:00 - United States

Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 125

You deserved it 516

By Anonymous - 08/02/2012 17:45

Today, I was attacked by a bird at 3 in the morning. The bird was being attacked by an owl, and decided the safest place to land wasn't in a tree, but my face. No-one will believe me, despite the 12 stitches across my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 002

You deserved it 2 223

Impressive

By Anonymous - 18/01/2021 04:58

Today, a small fly was harassing my face, then it landed on a book next to me. I waved at it to make it leave, but it didn't. I got my fingers closer to it, to scare it off. Instead, it jumped on my finger as a playful parrot pet, spent a moment there, and flew off. I cannot even intimidate a fly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 206

By How? - 29/09/2018 10:30 - United States - Glasford

Today, a bird crashed into my face. I didn't think that actually happened to people outside of cartoons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 027

You deserved it 212

By margretlle - 26/04/2009 04:07 - United States

Today, I was walking in the kitchen with my parrot on my shoulder and my dog running around. Something freaked out my bird and she bit my ear and started flapping her wings in my face. Surprised, I took a step back, tripped over my dog, fell, hit my head on the stove, and got knocked unconscious. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 744

You deserved it 8 415

By Anna - 15/06/2012 09:43 - United States - Buellton

Today, I was driving my parrot home from the vet. As I was driving home, I decided to let her sit on my shoulder. Something scared her, and she started flapping in my face, causing me to crash my car into a tree. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 770

You deserved it 51 777

Get the **** outta here, kid

By Anonymous - 07/02/2023 16:00

Today, I tried to take a picture next to a peacock, but ended up running away with a face and mouth full of feathers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 224

You deserved it 926

Next

Top comments

jqmalang 17

Monday 23 March 2015 16:49

"face your fears" they said. "you'll be stronger" they said.

yuno_gasai_fml 34

Monday 23 March 2015 16:03

I hope you're ok op :)

Comments

Sklinetobe88 11

Monday 23 March 2015 19:52

How can you be afraid of tweet tweet's?! They're so cute and pretty

Cyrus00 41

Monday 23 March 2015 20:03

He could smell your fear!

HollyPolly 19

Monday 23 March 2015 20:27

lmao I really hope that your alright. Listen to your gut!

Dez_Nutz666 3

Monday 23 March 2015 20:44

Jahaha

ffiguresskating 11

Monday 23 March 2015 22:38

It'll be alright! Maybe try again with a very trained bird? You're getting there, but you don't have to push yourself! Hope you'll be ok!

The_Skittish_One 27

Monday 23 March 2015 22:47

Good on you for trying to face your fears, but it's such a shame that this had to happen. Birds make me pretty nervous; I don't want them near me. Watching Hitchcock's The Birds didn't help either XD

gintwinsmoore 20

Monday 23 March 2015 23:08

just when you thought the air was safe...lol

abNormal62 23

Monday 23 March 2015 23:10

You can overcome this if you try a little harder. Check out Alford Hitchcock's the birds it will ease your concerns about our fine feathered friends

nightfall8705 33

Tuesday 24 March 2015 0:10

Bird: +1 Sorry about your face, OP.

Celticlily_fml 1

Tuesday 24 March 2015 0:19

Understand it perfectly cause I have ornitophobia myself. Unfortunately it's perfectly ok for people to be afraid of spiders but you become the weirdest weirdo on Earth when you tell people you have a fear of birds. As I work with children I can't show that I'm scared and have to face my fear about 96% of the time but when I'm alone and in front of one of those monsters I scream and cry like a little girl.

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I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 123

Today, I flew to Dubai, en route to my new job in Afghanistan. Both of my bags were lost, my debit card was frozen in London, the next flight was cancelled, and I can't get a hotel room. I'm in the richest city in world with no money and no room. Happy New Year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 070

You deserved it 3 127

The Top

Today, my daughter repeated what she had heard her grandma say when asked to say grace. It happened to be, "Dear God, why the fuck did we invite all these assholes to Thanksgiving?" I don't want to attend any more family gatherings. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 027

You deserved it 153

Today, I made the mistake of sneezing in front of a hyper religious customer, who for ten minutes blamed the incident of shifting weather patterns that signaled the return of Jesus, who was as she explained, upset about the abortion rates in America and President Obama. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 932

You deserved it 5 287

Today, I walked home from a guy's dorm early in the morning, still wearing my dress and heels from the night before. I walked by a mother and her little daughter, who said "Mommy, why is she so dressed up so early in the morning?" and the mom replied "Because honey, she makes bad decisions." FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 428

You deserved it 67 549

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I agree, your life sucks 14 949

You deserved it 1 572

Today, I felt like spicing up our marriage, so I thought I'd surprise my husband when he got home from work. I put on my sexiest teddy, lit some candles, and laid on the bed. He walked in the room, looked at me for a second, farted, then asked me what was for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 310

You deserved it 4 751

Today, my mom has forbidden me from drinking skim milk, because my sister is upset that I'm skinnier than her. The same sister who refuses to drink any other milk than 2% chocolate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 635

You deserved it 2 850