Intimacy: Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret.... - FML

By Anonymous - 02/01/2014 05:14 - United States - Stockbridge

Spicy

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 122

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Top comments

T9FTW 20

Thursday 2 January 2014 12:31

You could've avoided this "FML" feeling. Why'd you lie?

puggypark 14

Thursday 2 January 2014 12:30

I'm sure you'll find a nice bf. make that your New Years resolution

Comments

Mynamewontfi 40

Thursday 2 January 2014 12:48

Show your kitties how great you look! Why does it matter that you are single?

Epikouros 31

Thursday 2 January 2014 13:00

Just post a picture on tumblr or Instagram, and plenty of guys will be impressed.

VampOfSavannah 31

Thursday 2 January 2014 13:08

Not all women feel the need to ***** around online for attention.

VampOfSavannah 31

Thursday 2 January 2014 13:01

There's no shame in buying cute underwear, bras, and lingerie when you're single! I believe it can boost your self esteem. Love your body, and look sexy for yourself!

marcranger 28

Thursday 2 January 2014 21:28

Actually, I find that having a drawer full of comfy granny panties that come 6 to a pack is one of my favorite things about not dating, but I do get what you're saying!

marcelmg 10

Thursday 2 January 2014 13:07

Its OK, you are just perfectly prepared for that surprise day that you meet a nice partner!

mattrd_fml 31

Thursday 2 January 2014 13:16

Were your cats impressed?

angelpro 5

Thursday 2 January 2014 13:26

Find happiness within yourself. No need to lie.

onlychildFTW 33

Thursday 2 January 2014 13:28

I don't think it's the cashiers business really... Nosey people always asking personal questions when buying something.

challan 19

Thursday 2 January 2014 13:32

I'm going to be expecting a cat YouTube thong song video soon, Op. Make it happen.

mizzoukid 6

Thursday 2 January 2014 13:34

Sooo.. Who gets to see what you bought, then?

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Thursday 2 January 2014 13:36

Her cats. She lied about having a boyfriend.

VampOfSavannah 31

Thursday 2 January 2014 13:43

Damn 28, how did you know that? Who do you work for?!

CheckMyProfile 17

Thursday 2 January 2014 13:58

Your comment made me laugh. Thanks a lot ma'am!

Dramori 29

Thursday 2 January 2014 13:41

Hey, cats like looking at lingerie too, just tell the truth :p

outoftown 26

Thursday 2 January 2014 21:42

No, what cats really like is kneading the padding and chewing the lace and elastic.

1
2
3
4
5
6
7
8

Keywords

Poopoo peepee Transportation Cars Awkward Dentist Health Love Shopping My ex Animals Cats Work Job interview Clothes Miscellaneous Weird Family Holidays Vacation AITA Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Funerals Harassment Relatable Engagement Food Ironic Money

The Top

Today, I came home to my drunk husband, to find that he raided our fridge and freezer to soothe his beer munchies. That would have been fine, had he not eaten the top tier of our wedding cake I'd been saving to eat on our first wedding anniversary, which is in 4 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 214

You deserved it 14 071

Today, I finally got my paycheck that I could enjoy $300 for myself after taking care of my bills with so many other ones. Then, I find out that the water was shut off, which is supposed to be my roommate's responsibility. Apparently, he has not paid it in months, and they want $288. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 362

You deserved it 182

The Top

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 839

You deserved it 5 045

Today, my girlfriend snores like a lumberjack. Even when I leave to sleep on the couch, I can still hear her through the door. She won’t go to the doctor because, "snoring runs in her family and they’re all just fine." Yeah, uh huh. FML

I agree, your life sucks 930

You deserved it 144

Today, I paid $500 for a gym membership after moving into a brand new house, since 12 years of software development has taken its toll. When I told my instructor about my goal to lose 35lbs in two months, he simply said, "Yeah... That's not going to happen. Try another gym," and left promptly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 363

You deserved it 4 209

Today, I found my dead phone that had been missing for two weeks. I turned it on to see that I had only gotten 2 text messages during the two weeks. They were both from my mother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 802

You deserved it 6 627

Today, it was my friend's paintball party and we were doing it in a forest nearby. When I arrived at his house, his parents said they already started, so I geared up and went out there to find that there was a note on a tree. It said 'Sorry', and then twenty people jumped from bushes and ambushed me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 398

You deserved it 12 327

Today, as I was trying to get out of bed, my foot began sliding across the floor. I instinctively tried to balance myself, only for the new angle to cause my right hip to painfully and loudly dislocate, making me fall face-forward into my dresser. Back stuck in bed after three days of freedom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 144

You deserved it 396