Miscellaneous: Today, I decided to go tanning. I went outside and took my top...

By fihifgni210 - 20/05/2009 16:54 - United States

Today, I decided to go tanning. I went outside and took my top off and laid out in the sun for about an hour. When I was about to go inside a phone rang. It belonged to one of the five men that were working on my roof and watching me the entire time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 760

You deserved it 73 648

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By mediocreboobs - 18/02/2009 22:31 - United States

Today, I was home alone tanning in my backyard which is fairly secluded. I took my top off and laid there for awhile before I looked over and saw the UPS guy standing at my gate with a package because nobody answered the door. I looked horrified and he said not to worry, he'd seen better. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 460

You deserved it 8 892

Baked

By NotHappyJan - 03/12/2018 03:00

Today, I thought I'd take advantage of the lovely weather and sunbake topless in my grandmother's back yard. My grandma went up the street to do some shopping and didn’t tell me that men were coming to mow the lawn. I was laying on my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 754

You deserved it 2 001

Drying times

By helplesssssss - 07/08/2009 21:31 - United States

Today, I took a shower in a beach house we're renting for the week. Once I get out, I realize the house doesn't supply towels, my entire family was outside in the front yard, my phone was upstairs, and there are no blinds. I stood under a ceiling fan naked for 20 minutes trying to dry off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 153

You deserved it 15 168

Tanning

By Anonymous - 13/07/2014 04:08 - United States

Today, I decided to tan naked in a secluded part of my yard, so I wouldn't get tan lines. I even felt adventurous enough to leave my bikini and towel inside. This idea backfired however when my mom stopped home from work, assumed I wasn't home, and locked all the doors before she left again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 678

You deserved it 15 760

By Tara - 01/05/2011 00:19 - United States

Today, I went tanning for 15 min at my gym. When I got out no one was there, all of the lights were off, and the alarm started going off. Turns out the people working forgot about me, locked up, and left me there. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 476

You deserved it 5 652

Life's a beach

By Derek - 28/05/2021 20:01 - United States

Today, I went tanning on the beach. I found a nice spot close to shore and laid there with my towel and sunglasses. A few hours later, I awoke to waves splashing at me. My towel was soaked and my sunglasses must have washed off the shore. Damn high tide. FML

I agree, your life sucks 271

You deserved it 1 187

By Anonymous - 06/11/2010 04:31 - United States

Today, after getting out of the shower, I was in a good mood. So I decided to run around the house naked, then play air guitar while air drying, just for fun. My blinds were open, and the men in the Fedex truck in my front yard did have fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 629

You deserved it 34 567

By PeepShow - 06/08/2009 06:04 - United States

Today, it was just too hot. I stripped down and, being home alone, pranced around nude, lip synching and playing air guitar to some music. I was getting really into when I opened my eyes and looked out the window to see an old man with binoculars on his terrace. He wasn't birdwatching. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 276

You deserved it 47 094

By Deconstructed - 19/05/2009 20:13 - United States

Today, my husband let me sleep in while he worked on the landscaping by our backyard pool. Ready for a shower, I stripped naked, opened the back door to let the dog out, and stepped out to ask him how it was going. Turns out he'd finally hired a landscaping crew. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 100

You deserved it 27 998

Take the compliment

By Anonymous - 12/08/2020 17:01

Today, I was working in the yard and took off my shirt. My neighbor yelled, "Nice tits!" I'm a dude. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 310

You deserved it 461

toby02050 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:01

how would you not know people were working on your roof?

mrhahn530 0

Wednesday 20 May 2009 20:01

You need any more roof work done? I'll work for free ;-).

Comments

skoaljuice 0

Wednesday 3 June 2009 22:55

ok how the **** did you not hear them working on the roof but you heard a phone ring....your a dumb bitch

squintgotflow 0

Thursday 4 June 2009 16:57

This is obviously the fakest FML in the history of FML lies. In my experience, when ppl work on your roof, they r pretty loud. So how did you not hear them? You're an idiot. You deserve to get slapped.

Topguy 0

Wednesday 10 June 2009 6:09

Blonde moment...

aaaaa12345_fml 0

Sunday 26 July 2009 10:11

do you have down syndrome?

gummibehrs 4

Wednesday 26 August 2009 18:05

That's what you get for being an idiot and laying out topless while men are working on your roof. Obviously you must've just wanted the attention.

williamburrows2 0

Friday 29 January 2010 7:39

You're a liar. If they were on YOUR roof, it's because YOU hired them. If you rent, or whatever, and you didn't hire them, you're still a liar. Everyone in the neighborhood can hear when their neighbor is getting there roof done. Hammering all day long, and you didn't know? Bull.

metalfan333 0

Wednesday 3 February 2010 6:09

hahahahaahahahahahaha oh this story made my day!

confusey 2

Wednesday 21 July 2010 7:25

you did this with the knowledge of ppl on your roof, ydi

chrisamagod 0

Sunday 5 September 2010 10:43

ya i thought i read it wrong and it was your neighbors room but no it was yours just saying not the sharpest tool in the shed but hey could of been worse.