Miscellaneous: Today, I did a "dine and dash" and left my phone in the restaurant.... - FML

By Anonymous - 13/01/2010 21:41 - United States

Today, I did a "dine and dash" and left my phone in the restaurant. The owner answered my phone call. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 117

You deserved it 82 649

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Same thing different taste

Brainrot

By queenbee12345678 - 19/02/2012 19:29 - United States

Today, I accidentally left my cell phone at the restaurant. When I realized my mistake, I went back to see if anyone had found it. They said no, so I gave them my number to call if it turned up. I realized later that I'd given them my cell phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 969

You deserved it 26 501

By dine and DASH our friendship - 02/05/2017 00:11

Today, I served my good friend and his girlfriend at the restaurant where I work. They did a "dine and dash". FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 402

You deserved it 413

By embarrassed - 11/11/2011 15:17 - Canada

Today, I dined and dashed. Upon reaching my car, I realized I had left my seven year-old daughter in the restaurant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 609

You deserved it 124 265

By Anonymous - 09/08/2012 11:39 - United States - Desoto

Today, I went out with a friend to grab some food and we were served by this really cute and fun waiter. Stepping out of my comfort zone and deciding to do something crazy, I left my phone number on the bill. I got home only to realize that I forgot to pay the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 805

You deserved it 24 587

By Anonymous - 17/11/2013 21:59 - United States - Elmwood Park

Today, I was at a diner with friends when we decided to put our phones in the middle of the table on the basis that whoever looks at theirs first has to pay. It was going well, until someone rushed up behind me, slammed my face into the table and ran out with our 4 phones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 868

You deserved it 5 848

By ashleyevans - 04/04/2009 14:45 - United States

Today, my friend and I went to a really expensive restaurant. We got really bad service, so halfway through the meal we decided to dine-and-dash. Turns out I left my purse in the restaurant. With my I.D. and everything inside. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 002

You deserved it 192 014

Karma karma karma karma chameleon, you come and go.

By Karma - 15/03/2017 02:00

Today, I forgot my phone in a restaurant bathroom because I was too distracted trying to steal three rolls of toilet paper without anyone noticing. After sinking that low because I was too broke to buy my own toilet roll, I'm now also in the market for a new phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 678

You deserved it 7 216

Trickster

By Oxnar60 - 08/08/2016 18:19 - United States - Harwich

Today, I left my phone at work. After returning to the office to retrieve it, I noticed it was not on my desk as it usually is. I went to the front office and found it on the desk, unattended. When turning on my phone, I was greeted by my new lockscreen: a crap someone took in the bathroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 192

You deserved it 1 995

By WaitedOut - 03/10/2012 08:07 - United States - Saukville

Today, at work, I got to wait on one of those tables where everyone had very complex orders, and some of them sent their food back. When the time finally came for me to bring them their check and receive my well-earned tip, I returned only to discover that they'd dined and dashed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 361

You deserved it 2 138

By callerid - 03/08/2009 11:45 - United States

Today, I had misplaced my cell phone. I decided the best course of action would be to dial the number from my house phone and wait for it to ring to locate it. Somebody answered when I called. It wasn't the wrong number and I had a brief conversation with the man that stole my phone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 438

You deserved it 3 789

Next

Top comments

idkweird 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 1:10

YDI. Dining and dashing is dumb!

MacOSXpert 7

Thursday 14 January 2010 1:10

You got OWNED!

Comments

48Connor 10

Thursday 14 January 2010 1:47

******* dumbass

Z_Money 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 1:47

Bad call OP. just.. Bad call

chellexx 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 1:50

this is not an FMZl, you are just an idiot

nofriends28 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 1:51

How is this a 'fml'? How about f the servers life who most likely had to pay money out of their own pocket that they work very hard for so you could eat? You are a horrible human being. If you are going to dine and dash you might as well wait outside a restaurant and mug a server when they are leaving cause you are stealing money from them either way. I hope you feel good about yourself for being a criminal who steals from hard working people. YDI and you deserve being arrested!

GiRIsMakingCupca 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 1:52

smooth

Foxracingluver 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 1:58

mhm just lovely... it would of been smarter to just dine and not dash away without your phone

perdix 29

Thursday 14 January 2010 2:05

Ouch! Looks like the "dine 'n' dash" turned to a "fail 'n' jail." If you like free food, your are going to love the tossed salad in the pokey.

GETOVERIT2039 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 3:27

LOL fail n' jail

postaltubealex 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 6:04

Fail'n'jail. Awesome!

Flutist 3

Thursday 14 January 2010 10:08

Might I interest you in a nice bend over bitch with a side of take it like a man. We also serve man sausage, knuckle sandwiches and asshole beatings. Take your pick. They are all free. Plus your one phone call, will be the owner of the establishment.

perdix 29

Thursday 14 January 2010 22:55

As scrumptious as all of the offering you present sound, I think I'll pay for my meals and keep my sweet ass out of jail.

Flutist 3

Friday 15 January 2010 7:50

We also serve salad, its tossed with a side of Ky Dressing. But if you aren't hungry...

Six_and_the_Moon 3

Thursday 14 January 2010 2:08

It's sad that you even thought to post this, as though there were any doubt whatsoever that it was your own damn fault.

lane4 1

Thursday 14 January 2010 2:09

I'm sorry. but that's what u get. lol

Red_Bull_yay 0

Thursday 14 January 2010 2:14

YDI ... or i guess now YTDI. Has "totally" always been there?

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Awkward Miscellaneous Weddings Love My ex Jealousy Friends AITA Health Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Relatable Therapy Mental health Thanksgiving Covid Argument Kids Parenting Medication Ironic Cute Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Money Work

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 156

You deserved it 559

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 512

You deserved it 84 245

The Top

Today, I turned my phone off for the first time in three weeks to have a one-hour nap. I had kept it on because my next door neighbour has health problems and I offered to be an emergency call if he needed help. I was woken up by two ambulances arriving at his house. Turning on my phone, he'd left me 5 voicemails. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 023

You deserved it 927

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I agree, your life sucks 18 519

You deserved it 52 526

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I agree, your life sucks 684

You deserved it 206

Today, when my boyfriend was about to orgasm, I suddenly sneezed all over his face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 351

You deserved it 9 135

Today, I spent $20 on a spray tan, $30 to have my make up done, and $50 on a pretty new dress all for a special date with my boyfriend. It turns out I spent $100 just to get dumped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 056

You deserved it 8 482

Today, at my catering job, a woman left me a fake £10 note as a tip, which was actually one of those stupid invitations to attend her church, since "God is more valuable than cash." I have two kids and a wealthy ex refusing to pay support, so I’d have preferred no tip at all instead of this bullshit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 053

You deserved it 157