Money: Today, I didn't realize until I was home that I'd thrown my retainer... - FML

By idgit42 - 27/07/2010 22:15 - United States

Today, I didn't realize until I was home that I'd thrown my retainer away with my tray at Chick-fil-A. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 745

You deserved it 30 356

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Same thing different taste

By pplsuck - 25/09/2012 23:57 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 324

You deserved it 2 779

By stephiexbabexx - 15/01/2010 21:27 - United States

Today, I was with my friends at Burger King. While we were eating, I placed my cellphone on the tray, not realising that I'd left it there until after I emptied my tray into the bin. When I got it out of the trash, it was covered in soggy, sticky garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 826

You deserved it 39 479

By Eyalsh - 30/01/2015 04:53 - Germany - Greifswald

Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 405

You deserved it 2 801

Moist

By HonestlyVirgoHonesty - 01/05/2022 14:00

Today, I went to go soak my dentures because I fell asleep wearing them last night, only to find that my boyfriend threw away the container they were in, thinking it was trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 871

You deserved it 109

Sticky situation

By CodyS - 03/09/2013 05:03 - United States - Rocky River

Today, on my lunch break, I ran to the gas station, and threw some trash away on my way in. On my way out, I realized my keys were missing. Thinking I threw them away, and fearing that I'd be late returning to work, I tore through the disgusting trash only to find my keys on the seat of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 219

You deserved it 11 286

Brainrot

By queenbee12345678 - 19/02/2012 19:29 - United States

Today, I accidentally left my cell phone at the restaurant. When I realized my mistake, I went back to see if anyone had found it. They said no, so I gave them my number to call if it turned up. I realized later that I'd given them my cell phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 969

You deserved it 26 509

By Tired Hungry Geek - 27/10/2015 04:40 - United States

Today, I was exhausted after a long day at work and didn't feel like cooking so I went to a drive thru. I placed my order, went to the window and paid. I then drove off without my food and didn't realize it for a couple of blocks. I was too embarrassed to go back and get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 684

You deserved it 10 335

By Anonymous - 05/10/2011 05:28 - United States

Today, a woman somehow managed to drop her wedding ring into the garbage at the fast food place where I work. I had to search through a full bag of half eaten food and soda to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 338

You deserved it 2 737

By Fox_Undercover - 30/04/2016 20:33 - United States - Wareham

Today, my dentist pulled the wrong tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 447

You deserved it 2 955

Introvert struggles

By knife knife - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Dalkeith

Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 920

You deserved it 15 491

Next

Top comments

SirWhatsHisFace 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 2:00

What is this OP, a rap? The last part of the FML ryhmes.

Vehicle 1

Wednesday 28 July 2010 2:04

I've been without braces for several years and I quit wearing my retainers like I was supposed to and my teeth are fine.

Comments

kraykray_fml 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 22:49

jahahaha nice..

uwishucouldfyl 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 23:32

it's restaurant where people eat dumb ass

muffinkitty 15

Thursday 29 July 2010 4:39

oohh man!! my sis did that lmao! XD it's all good, just dnt lose it next time! :)

hellokimmiee 5

Thursday 29 July 2010 5:20

I did that at mcdonald's... my boyfriend did that at burger king...

hellokimmiee 5

Thursday 29 July 2010 5:22

I had to take the trash bags home too, it was so sick. I found mine though

CONMAN904 0

Thursday 29 July 2010 6:13

holy crap I had the exact same thing happen to me at chickfila but I had to go back and find it in the dumpster. also cause they r so expensive Im still using the same one.

bubblz 0

Thursday 29 July 2010 10:18

how many people has this happened to all over the world?! I did it too, except it was at a McDonalds in France...and I had to try and explain to the staff member in terrible broken French what had happened. He found it for me though! Needed some good sterilizing...

l3allin_all_day 0

Friday 30 July 2010 11:36

I lost my retainer like 5 times and prbly worn them a couple of times and my teeth haven't moved and my dentist says there perfect lol

AppleMelonBerry 0

Friday 30 July 2010 12:09

Oh, darn. Now you have to sort through all the half-eaten napkins and look for it.

wonderiromachi 0

Friday 30 July 2010 18:33

I work for CFA and we dig through the trash if anyone loses anything. ;p

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The Top

Today, I got home at 2am. It was dark but I heard my fiancé in the kitchen, so I went and kissed her, and grabbed both ass cheeks. Normally this would turn her on, but she screamed and turned on the lights. It was my sister. I groped my sister's ass. Why was she in my house in the dark at 2am? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 016

You deserved it 245

Today, I was scheduled for an interview at a local firm owned by two partners. The secretary told me to be there at around 12:00 to 12:30 pm, so I arrived at 12:15. The first boss told me off for being early, the other one yelled at me for being late. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 334

You deserved it 2 705

The Top

Today, I got genuinely annoyed at myself when I realised I probably lack the skills to survive a Zombie apocalypse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 932

You deserved it 33 067

Today, after struggling to get something out of my eye, I kept my eye open long so it would start to water. My mother in law noticed and said, "Aww, do you need a therapist again?" She knows full well I struggle with chronic depression. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 655

You deserved it 1 590

Today, my girlfriend decided to pleasure me with a handjob. It was incredibly painful because she didn't understand that my foreskin isn't as flexible as she thought it to be. I didn't have the heart to tell her to stop until she asked, "Is it supposed to turn this color?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 200

You deserved it 12 431

Today, I was sitting at a traffic light when a cute girl appeared at the side of the road. I sat and watched her until she had crossed, when I realised that I had missed the light. A large queue of cars had built up behind me, yet none of them used their horn because I was driving my police car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 602

You deserved it 54 279

Today, it was my birthday. Two of my best friends forgot it, and so did my grandparents. All of my friends were busy, so I spent it alone in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 124

You deserved it 130

Today, I found out that my landlord is sleeping with my girlfriend, and he won’t let me out of my lease. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 510

You deserved it 160