Money: Today, I didn't realize until I was home that I'd thrown my retainer... - FML

By idgit42 - 27/07/2010 22:15 - United States

Today, I didn't realize until I was home that I'd thrown my retainer away with my tray at Chick-fil-A. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 743

You deserved it 30 351

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Same thing different taste

By pplsuck - 25/09/2012 23:57 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I went to eat out. When I sat down, I realized I forgot my straw. I took my purse with me, not wanting it to get stolen. Someone stole my food instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 320

You deserved it 2 779

By stephiexbabexx - 15/01/2010 21:27 - United States

Today, I was with my friends at Burger King. While we were eating, I placed my cellphone on the tray, not realising that I'd left it there until after I emptied my tray into the bin. When I got it out of the trash, it was covered in soggy, sticky garbage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 824

You deserved it 39 473

By Eyalsh - 30/01/2015 04:53 - Germany - Greifswald

Today, I came back to my dormitory after a long shift at work. After using the toilet, I looked at myself in the mirror, only to find a huge piece of food stuck between my front teeth. I work at one of the fanciest restaurants in town; nobody bothered to tell me anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 403

You deserved it 2 799

Moist

By HonestlyVirgoHonesty - 01/05/2022 14:00

Today, I went to go soak my dentures because I fell asleep wearing them last night, only to find that my boyfriend threw away the container they were in, thinking it was trash. FML

I agree, your life sucks 868

You deserved it 107

Sticky situation

By CodyS - 03/09/2013 05:03 - United States - Rocky River

Today, on my lunch break, I ran to the gas station, and threw some trash away on my way in. On my way out, I realized my keys were missing. Thinking I threw them away, and fearing that I'd be late returning to work, I tore through the disgusting trash only to find my keys on the seat of my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 218

You deserved it 11 284

Brainrot

By queenbee12345678 - 19/02/2012 19:29 - United States

Today, I accidentally left my cell phone at the restaurant. When I realized my mistake, I went back to see if anyone had found it. They said no, so I gave them my number to call if it turned up. I realized later that I'd given them my cell phone number. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 969

You deserved it 26 502

By Tired Hungry Geek - 27/10/2015 04:40 - United States

Today, I was exhausted after a long day at work and didn't feel like cooking so I went to a drive thru. I placed my order, went to the window and paid. I then drove off without my food and didn't realize it for a couple of blocks. I was too embarrassed to go back and get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 681

You deserved it 10 328

By Anonymous - 05/10/2011 05:28 - United States

Today, a woman somehow managed to drop her wedding ring into the garbage at the fast food place where I work. I had to search through a full bag of half eaten food and soda to find it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 335

You deserved it 2 737

By Fox_Undercover - 30/04/2016 20:33 - United States - Wareham

Today, my dentist pulled the wrong tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 445

You deserved it 2 954

Introvert struggles

By knife knife - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United Kingdom - Dalkeith

Today, I ate out, even though I was tired. When my main course arrived, I realised I had sent both my forks away with the starter plate. Rather than say anything, I ate dinner with two knives. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 919

You deserved it 15 488

Next

Top comments

SirWhatsHisFace 0

Wednesday 28 July 2010 2:00

What is this OP, a rap? The last part of the FML ryhmes.

Vehicle 1

Wednesday 28 July 2010 2:04

I've been without braces for several years and I quit wearing my retainers like I was supposed to and my teeth are fine.

Comments

JaiBrooks5 13

Saturday 4 January 2014 3:05

That rhymes! It should be a doctor suess poem

Wewky 4

Wednesday 11 June 2014 16:16

You must do anything for the chicken.

kiaroxilles 8

Thursday 10 July 2014 18:59

That happened to my mom when she was young. She accidentally threw her retainers away after having braces for a painful 4 full years...except she never got them replaced and now her teeth are worse off than they were before braces. I hope you got them replaced, OP? I had to have braces too (thankfully only for a year and a half) and I make sure to put in my retainers at least one night out of the week. Don't want to go through that again.

jay0627 8

Thursday 12 March 2015 21:44

It's happened to me too OP

tuxedoandex 28

Monday 6 April 2015 17:54

i did that once after eating lunch in a town 100 km from where i live. we had to drive there at 3 am to beat the garbage trucks

the_bassist__ 15

Wednesday 2 September 2015 22:23

OP, you didn't deserve it. Everybody does stuff like that! Just never set it on your lunch tray

_ali__cat_ 14

Saturday 10 March 2018 20:53

Omg this is just like that episode of Camp Lazlo.

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The Top

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and, in the heat of the moment, I cried out for him to go harder. He then had an exasperated expression on his face, and, in an adamantly offended tone, said, "Don't tell me what to do." Then he left the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 197

You deserved it 9 151

Today, I found out my husband’s former mistress is going to be at Thanksgiving dinner. Why? Because his idiot brother married the tramp AFTER the affair came to light. So now not only is the whore my sister-in-law, she’s being included in every family gathering henceforth. Fuck this family and… FML

I agree, your life sucks 600

You deserved it 186

The Top

Today, a student told me to fuck off. I work with 3 year-olds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 759

You deserved it 187

Today, in the store I work at, I was screamed at multiple times for not staying 6 feet away from everyone. The store is packed, and there is not even 6 feet of free space to work with. FML

I agree, your life sucks 838

You deserved it 118

Today, I got to see my son's dream of being on television come true. Unfortunately, it was because he'd been arrested for trying to rob a bank. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 115

You deserved it 5 954

Today, my fiancé told me to quit my bitching and to just order a wedding dress off Wish. I'm willing to get an inexpensive dress and in fact I hate designer labels altogether. However, I draw the line at the cheap, poorly made crap from that site. FML

I agree, your life sucks 935

You deserved it 230

Today, I have to use the same techniques to trick my 24-year-old husband into brushing his teeth, as I do my 2-year-old. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 945

You deserved it 724

Today, everything that was beautiful and pure in my life turned into a terrible, warped version of what it once was. Today, I lost all hope and no longer believe that life, although sometimes shitty, is sweet and worth living. Today, I met my mother-in-law. FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 679

You deserved it 5 916