Animals: Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub....

By imfromtexas02 - 06/06/2009 14:03 - United States

Today, I discovered an enormous hairy spider sitting in the bathtub. I also discovered that I scream like a girl and pee a little bit when I am truly terrified. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 436

You deserved it 12 633

Winter: Snow and Funny News
Snuggle up and laugh with our winter stories, where snow isn't the only thing sliding around! More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

By nopenopenopenope - 23/09/2016 03:28 - United States - Winston Salem

Today, I tried to have a relaxing soak in the tub. The giant wolf spider that was already in the tub didn't like me trying to set it free outside. It ran right across my feet and back into my house when I dumped it out of a cup outside. I screamed like a little girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 10 679

You deserved it 2 474

Freaked

By AussieGirl - 21/11/2009 11:40 - Australia

Today, as I put on my pajamas, a large spider ran down my leg. After freaking out, killing it, and recomposing myself, I went to the bathroom. As I sat down to go to the toilet, I looked up to see hundreds of baby spiders hanging over my head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 176

You deserved it 4 027

Bath time [GONE WRONG][CREEPYPASTA]

By noname - 27/12/2008 04:07 - France

Today, I was quietly having a bath when I felt something fall onto my shoulder blade. I glanced over my shoulder and saw what I thought were huge black spider legs. I screamed, completely hysterical, and I threw myself violently against a wall. It was my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 307

You deserved it 23 904

Monster in my bathroom

By Thescarlettfox - 16/02/2020 01:00

Today, I saw a big, black spider on the floor of my bathroom. I promptly jumped up on the toilet seat, slipped off, and slammed my head against the wall. The best part? It was a tuft of my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 452

You deserved it 875

By thatsnotacat - 21/11/2013 17:52 - Australia - West End

Today, I woke up to something tickling me. Thinking it was my cat, I reached under the covers to give her a friendly scratch behind the ears. I imagine the giant spider that was actually there enjoyed my terrified screams. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 522

You deserved it 3 358

By dickwebs - 22/11/2010 03:42 - Germany

Today, I was taking off my underwear to change into fresh clothes. Pulling them down, I realize there's a big fat spider in them. Not only did I have a spider chilling with my genitals the whole day, but I'm deathly afraid of them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 972

You deserved it 5 238

By Shrieking_Shack_Maiden - 07/09/2018 23:30

Today, I got to experience the unadulterated horror of waking up to a spider crawling across my face. My screaming woke the neighbors. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 666

You deserved it 261

By yuckspider - 20/04/2009 00:17 - United States

Today, I saw a spider crawling on the floor but had nothing to kill it with and it hid somewhere. So, I got dressed and went out and come home for a shower, and as I'm taking off my undies, something crushed and black fell out. It was the spider and he had been in my underwear the entire day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 321

You deserved it 7 652

By eyes wide SHIT - 28/12/2013 01:37 - Australia

Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 024

You deserved it 5 960

By DogLover - 06/02/2013 13:59 - United States - Watertown

Today, I learned that my big, tough, strong dog is terrified of spiders when he jumped, knocked over a table and then peed on the spider to drown it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 561

You deserved it 4 821

redbluegreen 40

Saturday 6 June 2009 19:57

We all scream like little girls at some point or another in our lifetimes. The real question is, did anyone hear you? Did the police come to investigate because they got calls from neighbors fearing a girl was being raped? That would truly be an FML. Oh, wait. Just playing. Spiders are scary, eh?

Katzilla_dances 0

Saturday 6 June 2009 20:05

Hehe, peeing when you're scared is a natural instinct, animals do it so they weigh less and can run a 'little' faster.

Comments

inerdablanket 4

Sunday 7 June 2009 1:43

I prolly would have done the same thing. Don't feel bad. What you should feel bad about is saying "screamed like a girl" >_>

MIAMIBITCH_fml 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 1:54

@73, how does that make him a pussy? That's very disrespectful.

Sapphy 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 2:31

awesome :D lol, jk. I freak out over spiders too.. i scream like a girl.. because i am one.. but i have never pissed myself. i have even had little... babby.. sipders all over my bed... *shudder*

fml_fml_fml9 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 2:34

ROFL, thx for making my rather shitty day, better man :)

ZiggyMorrison 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 2:50

this reminds me of the daniel tosh joke about wishing how we chose to react to something scary

girlnamedkris 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 3:09

It's rare that I laugh out loud at these, but this was one of those rare ones. FYL

Brasil_fml 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 3:31

NUMBER TEN FTW :D

19avengers 0

Sunday 7 June 2009 3:42

omg... man up its a SPIDER - trust me it'll just get into a fit of fury when it sees you and just try to bite your head off your body... because all spiders do that and they are like... so dangerous... ever think of using hair spray? Omg that spider would be so rofl-ing... lmao YDI

threer 30

Tuesday 22 April 2014 7:23

People are defined as individuals, not genders.. He can be as "feminine" or "masculine" as he wants. Gender roles don't work, k? So much repost, so much captain obvious.