Intimacy: Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob.... - FML

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By canucks_chick - 23/10/2011 05:45 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 663

You deserved it 21 054

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Same thing different taste

How romantic!

By dislocated - 14/02/2018 20:30

Today, my boyfriend dislocated my jaw by sitting on my face while trying to fart on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 719

You deserved it 873

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 27/05/2022 06:00

Spicy

Today, during sex with my new boyfriend, he gave me such an intense oral sex orgasm, I clenched my jaw and broke one of my back teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 225

You deserved it 322

By fatcheeks - 02/03/2010 16:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 483

You deserved it 4 191

By neckcrack - 07/09/2010 10:18 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 223

You deserved it 24 099

By 530gangsta - 25/04/2017 16:00

Today, while having sex I managed to chip my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 339

You deserved it 430

Come again

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 07:35

Spicy

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 997

You deserved it 62 551

By dom - 08/09/2010 06:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 329

You deserved it 33 878

By Anonymous - 30/10/2014 20:55 - United States - College Place

Spicy

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 015

You deserved it 27 448

By Anonymous - 26/08/2017 01:30

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was in the midst of giving me head when she got lockjaw. My dick was stuck inside her mouth as she bit down on it for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 482

You deserved it 774

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Spicy

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 063

You deserved it 6 813

Next

Top comments

JTthePurpleNinja 5

Sunday 23 October 2011 12:06

Was it that big ? Holy shit.

NitroTonicsFML 4

Sunday 23 October 2011 12:18

I'm just gonna say it...that blows.

Comments

fmlist99 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 14:26

pleasure does not cum easy..

KaelaKhaotic 5

Sunday 23 October 2011 14:31

How did you manage to pull that one off?

RagamuffinRyan 1

Sunday 23 October 2011 14:31

must have a little mouth

Petal23 11

Sunday 23 October 2011 14:39

Ouch. I once snapped my frenulum giving my boyfriend one - that wasn't funny either.

jewknowit710 2

Sunday 23 October 2011 14:40

Your boyfriend=like a boss

BigGrouchy 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 14:41

I seriously doubt it's big enuff to do that, thanks for the laugh though

koolkat911 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 14:45

Wow....

koolkat911 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 14:45

Wow....

afulks78 11

Sunday 23 October 2011 14:48

That big huh ?

hero1775 0

Friday 4 November 2011 3:44

Cute

MisterMichael 9

Sunday 23 October 2011 14:48

Well now he has a good story to tell his friends

Enslaved 36

Sunday 23 October 2011 15:20

What I've got you've got to give it to your mamma What I've got you've got to give it to your pappa What I've got you've got to give it to your daughter You do a little dance and then you drink a little water

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Today, I was on a long-haul flight, desperately trying to sleep. My husband next to me started snoring so loudly, I swear he was vibrating the seat. In a dazed, half-asleep state, I leaned over and hissed, “Shut up!” It wasn’t him. It was the guy next to him. He woke up and looked at me like I was the problem. FML

I agree, your life sucks 179

You deserved it 440

Today, I learned that my wife had an affair with another guy. She met him while we were on a trip in another state for marriage counseling. The reason we were in marriage counseling was because she had no desire for sex, and we had gone for two years without it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 903

You deserved it 4 838

The Top

Today, I recently graduated from high school and I went to a college party. I met these girls and told them I graduated college already, to sound cool. I then heard one of them say, "I went to middle school with you, and I was in your math class." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 522

You deserved it 62 026

Today, someone wearing dark grey clothes thought it would be a good idea to run in front of my car in the pouring rain. I slammed on my brakes and managed to stop before I'd have turned him into a blood sprinkler. Unfortunately, the person behind me didn't. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 161

You deserved it 2 874

Today, I embarrassed myself by screaming for help in a crowded mall when my shoelace got stuck at the top of the escalator. Someone behind me kicked the shoelace and it came out easily. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 202

You deserved it 2 100

Today, I washed my boyfriend's work clothes, trying to make up for a fight we had earlier. After taking them out, I found his phone, wallet and keys at the bottom of the washer, completly waterlogged. This is not the peace offering I'd hoped for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 703

You deserved it 7 849

Today, was the last day of the prank war between me and my husband. I told him the last prank needed to be the best one. I took a shower and tried to think up my last prank. When I got out of the shower, my hair was green. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 561

You deserved it 38 159

Today, I helped a very large elderly man, who thanked me and tried to hand me a dollar bill. I kindly told him, "We are not allowed to accept tips from customers." His reply was, "You're going to take this fucking money," and shoved it in my pocket. I'm now being written up for it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 699

You deserved it 2 960