Intimacy: Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob.... - FML

By canucks_chick - 23/10/2011 05:45 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 657

You deserved it 21 052

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Same thing different taste

How romantic!

By dislocated - 14/02/2018 20:30

Today, my boyfriend dislocated my jaw by sitting on my face while trying to fart on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 709

You deserved it 870

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 27/05/2022 06:00

Spicy

Today, during sex with my new boyfriend, he gave me such an intense oral sex orgasm, I clenched my jaw and broke one of my back teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 214

You deserved it 315

By fatcheeks - 02/03/2010 16:58 - United States

Spicy

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 476

You deserved it 4 185

By neckcrack - 07/09/2010 10:18 - Australia

Spicy

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 216

You deserved it 24 091

By 530gangsta - 25/04/2017 16:00

Today, while having sex I managed to chip my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 333

You deserved it 429

Come again

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 07:35

Spicy

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 994

You deserved it 62 530

By dom - 08/09/2010 06:53 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 316

You deserved it 33 857

By Anonymous - 30/10/2014 20:55 - United States - College Place

Spicy

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 007

You deserved it 27 435

By Anonymous - 26/08/2017 01:30

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend was in the midst of giving me head when she got lockjaw. My dick was stuck inside her mouth as she bit down on it for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 475

You deserved it 768

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Spicy

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 035

You deserved it 6 802

Next

Top comments

JTthePurpleNinja 5

Sunday 23 October 2011 12:06

Was it that big ? Holy shit.

NitroTonicsFML 4

Sunday 23 October 2011 12:18

I'm just gonna say it...that blows.

Comments

chrisa7x6661 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 18:11

he is going to be telling that story for the rest of his life

padule 5

Sunday 23 October 2011 18:11

OMG is he ok?

BlackRhyno 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 18:12

Is your boyfriend a horse?

Nauvea 4

Sunday 23 October 2011 18:14

Achievement unlocked.

Draslay 6

Sunday 23 October 2011 18:15

Like a boss...

aznboomz 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 18:19

Sorry...can't vote either way on this... just wanna give u and your bf a thumbs up. All I can say is that kinda "sucks" to have a dislocated jaw lol.

smoojenkins 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 18:20

Play through the pain baby!

pdp_fml 21

Sunday 23 October 2011 18:23

Were you able to get un-dislocated? Or did you have get a Dr's help? I would advise you not to give your friend a bj ever again. You could cause irreversible damage for life.

iTzHowie 1

Sunday 23 October 2011 21:19

Well that was redundant

xXshadowrollerXx 6

Sunday 23 October 2011 18:24

Your boyfriend must have had an amazing story to tell the guys. "My girlfriend gave me head last night.. And I ******* broke her face." "..You're the man, dude. Holy shit."

lkalili 7

Sunday 23 October 2011 19:51

I'm totally imagining this right now...

funnytrain 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 18:36

What a huge dick!

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The Top

Today, the office I work at put up a "No Masturbating at Desks" sign. I'm disappointed by this, not because I usually whack off at my desk, but because enough people do that there needs to be a sign against it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 404

You deserved it 4 295

Today, I went to a restaurant with some friends. I noticed a very cute waitress about my age, so I walked over to her and asked if she had a boyfriend. The extremely fit, attractive waiter standing next to her immediately turned, held out his hand and goes, "Yeah. Meet me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 008

You deserved it 14 098

The Top

Today, I sent a text to the girl I like, asking if she wanted to "hang out." Autocorrect changed it to "hand out," and she responded by asking what I was handing out. I panicked and replied, "My love." Now she thinks I'm a weirdo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 107

You deserved it 502

Today, I rushed home during a torrential downpour. When I got back, I went to take a pee and took off my wet socks while I had the chance. Once I finished, I stood up with used toilet paper in one hand and wet socks in the other. Guess which I tossed into the toilet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 317

You deserved it 12 996

Today, my wife somehow found out that my "surprise bonus" from earlier this year was actually hush money from my boss to keep quiet about her affair. Rather than let a good thing alone, she threw a fit and called my boss's husband. Now I'm jobless, and my boss has sworn I'll never work in my industry again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 694

You deserved it 262

Today, my older brother and I were teasing our mom about her age. When we jokingly told her it was hard for us to watch our parents get old, she responded by saying, "Yeah, well, it's hard for me to watch my kids grow up and not have anyone who wants to marry them." FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 359

You deserved it 47 783

Today, I was at the grocery store when I tripped and knocked over a tower of Easter chocolate. The sound was so loud that everyone in the store stopped and stared at me while I tried to rearrange the chocolate bells, bunnies, and eggs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 758

You deserved it 190

Today, I told my boyfriend I was ovulating. He said he didn't want to have sex because he was afraid of getting eggs on his penis. He then compared it to having sex with a fish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 038

You deserved it 5 159