Intimacy: Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob....

By canucks_chick - 23/10/2011 05:45 - Canada

Today, I dislocated my jaw while giving my boyfriend a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 662

You deserved it 21 053

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Same thing different taste

How romantic!

By dislocated - 14/02/2018 20:30

Today, my boyfriend dislocated my jaw by sitting on my face while trying to fart on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 717

You deserved it 871

Silver linings

By Anonymous - 27/05/2022 06:00

Today, during sex with my new boyfriend, he gave me such an intense oral sex orgasm, I clenched my jaw and broke one of my back teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 222

You deserved it 319

By fatcheeks - 02/03/2010 16:58 - United States

Today, I got all four of my wisdom teeth removed. I went to see my boyfriend for comfort because I was in so much pain. The first thing he asked me when I saw him with huge cheeks? When would be the next time I could give him a blowjob. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 480

You deserved it 4 190

By neckcrack - 07/09/2010 10:18 - Australia

Today, I was giving my boyfriend head. I got a little too enthusiastic during it, and wound up cracking my neck loudly, and had to stop while the pain settled down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 221

You deserved it 24 096

By 530gangsta - 25/04/2017 16:00

Today, while having sex I managed to chip my tooth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 336

You deserved it 430

Come again

By Anonymous - 09/07/2009 07:35

Today, I gave my boyfriend a spontaneous blowjob while we were watching TV. After he finished, I tried to pull a sexy move I'd seen in a porno by zipping his pants back up with my teeth. His foreskin got caught in the zipper and we spent the next few hours in the emergency room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 995

You deserved it 62 533

By dom - 08/09/2010 06:53 - United States

Today, my boyfriend yawned while I was giving him head. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 323

You deserved it 33 869

By Anonymous - 30/10/2014 20:55 - United States - College Place

Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 013

You deserved it 27 444

By Anonymous - 26/08/2017 01:30

Today, my girlfriend was in the midst of giving me head when she got lockjaw. My dick was stuck inside her mouth as she bit down on it for over an hour. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 481

You deserved it 772

By pleasedie - 07/05/2015 18:00 - United States - Fort Lauderdale

Today, I took a shower with my boyfriend. I tried to be adventurous and went to give him a blowjob, only to end up slipping and head-butting him in the balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 044

You deserved it 6 806

JTthePurpleNinja 5

Sunday 23 October 2011 12:06

Was it that big ? Holy shit.

NitroTonicsFML 4

Sunday 23 October 2011 12:18

I'm just gonna say it...that blows.

Comments

random1st 2

Sunday 23 October 2011 16:55

Did you finish the job cause that's dedication if not congrats to your man on the blue balls

kardashik00 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 17:28

Well at least this FML isn't a BLOW to his ego.

meikola 6

Sunday 23 October 2011 17:30

Nice, some men would consider that a bonus skill. Lol.

philliphaggith 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 17:46

That's a hard ****!!

buttercup_mcm 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 17:46

O wow lol

spencylicious12 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 17:53

Wow sucks to be you!

brianjman14 22

Sunday 23 October 2011 17:56

Wow, you must give very intense ********...

chokolatecandie1 6

Sunday 23 October 2011 18:00

holy shit...feel better soon..

kknez23 0

Sunday 23 October 2011 18:00

Your boyfriend must feel real good about himself.

yankfan89 27

Sunday 23 October 2011 18:05

Who doesn't love a girlfriend with a slackjaw

Keywords

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 2 053

You deserved it 274

Today, I was giving my wife a massage. That led to some very intense and passionate love making, and she told me that has been the best sex we’ve had. Next thing I know, she's upset and yelling at me about how massages always lead to sex. She was asking for it. Literally. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 900

You deserved it 178

The Top

Today, after six months of doing the job of 2 people, because all my coworker does is sleep and sit down with her phone, I told my boss that I can't be doing my coworker's job and getting the same salary as her. My boss added just $10 to my salary and told me to let her carry on doing nothing, while I still do the work of 2 people. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 134

Today, I saw my four-year-old son running around outside, and copying everything our dog was doing. I thought it was cute, so I went to grab the camera. When I went back outside, I saw my dog eating a dead rabbit, and my son doing the same. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 019

You deserved it 6 446

Today, I emptied the morning coffee grounds from the coffee maker so I could set it up for tomorrow morning. When I threw out the filter, something in the grounds caught my eye. It was a dead spider. It had brewed with my coffee that morning. I also happen to be severely arachnophobic. FML

I agree, your life sucks 890

You deserved it 169

Today, my ex-boyfriend surprised me with a gorgeous, giant stuffed tiger as a belated birthday gift. I thought it was a lovely gesture until a friend told me she had thrown it in the dumpster behind our building this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 854

You deserved it 3 937

Today, I learned that when communication is getting shorter with you, it’s getting longer with someone else. My husband never tells me about his day anymore, but he constantly texts his coworker outside work. He vehemently insists she’s only a coworker and nothing else, and he’s “allowed to have friends”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 215

You deserved it 211

Today, my husband walked in on me while I was masturbating and watching porn (yes women do it too). Now he thinks I’m unsatisfied with him or our sex life. All I wanted was a quick release. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 907

You deserved it 527

Same thing different taste

How romantic!

Silver linings

Come again

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