Miscellaneous: Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

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By woahitbechels - 25/04/2011 01:10 - United States

Today, I dreamed that I was kidnapped by Charlie Sheen. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 997

You deserved it 12 594

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By Karen - 24/01/2025 16:00 - United States - Solon

Today, I fell asleep while watching Rocky and Bullwinkle. I then had an extremely vivid dream that I was going after Russian spies. FML

I agree, your life sucks 303

You deserved it 124

By gonavybeatarmy - 31/05/2012 05:28 - United States - San Diego

Today, I almost got kidnapped. Again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 667

You deserved it 4 989

Panic in the sheets of Luton…

By Anonymous - 06/07/2021 19:00 - United Kingdom - Luton

Today, I had a dream in which I was having a panic attack. When I woke up, I was actually having a panic attack. Double the fun. FML

I agree, your life sucks 922

You deserved it 117

Night terrors

By Anonymous - 25/09/2015 20:14 - Germany

Today, I brutally stabbed a guy to death for smiling at me, then puked and fainted. Then I woke up in bed, panicking, sweating like a pig and crying because I thought my dream was real and I was going to go to prison. I'm never taking sleeping medication again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 575

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By BrittUnicorn - 06/07/2015 15:14 - United States - Morristown

Today, I was having a dream about Chris Pratt. Instead of having a sexy dream that I would have enjoyed, I dreamt he was a supervisor at my work. He kept telling me how much I sucked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 648

You deserved it 3 679

By Anonymous - 21/11/2015 10:03 - United States - Norwalk

Today, I was house-sitting for my friend. He was late to return and I ended up falling asleep on the couch and having a dream where I violently shat myself and suddenly developed a six-pack. When I woke up, I found the dream was half true. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 050

You deserved it 2 327

By Anonymous - 07/01/2014 21:24 - United States

Today, I woke up to my psycho roommate trying to baptize me in my sleep. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 375

You deserved it 5 214

By Anonymous - 11/08/2013 18:11 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 408

You deserved it 5 963

By imawesomeokay - 20/07/2013 05:53 - Mexico - Zapopan

Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 253

You deserved it 10 970

First time?

By Anonymous - 23/02/2025 11:00 - United Kingdom

Today, I had such a realistic dream that I was about to be hanged by the neck until I was dead. I was dropped through the hole and I felt the noose snap my neck at the exact moment I woke up. I ended up crying in my wife’s arms for a solid five minutes. Now I’m afraid to sleep, maybe forever. FML

I agree, your life sucks 507

You deserved it 125

LuckyLogic 0

Monday 25 April 2011 9:00

Did you drink tiger blood?

Bill3485 3

Monday 25 April 2011 9:05

fyl? no way, your life is #winning!

Comments

HeaRTs_Girl 0

Monday 25 April 2011 10:40

>_< I feel like I'm on a Charlie Sheen rant. O_o

JennaChan2764 0

Monday 25 April 2011 11:08

Lol maybe u are XD

reepjake 0

Monday 25 April 2011 10:42

bi winning

cin11 0

Monday 25 April 2011 10:42

just a dream .. it could've been worse

LolaD18 1

Monday 25 April 2011 10:51

http://alltimeslash.livejournal.com/1073250.html#cutid1

JennaChan2764 0

Monday 25 April 2011 11:05

Dude im pretty sure its Charlie Scene....Lol whatever

JennaChan2764 0

Monday 25 April 2011 11:17

Wait nvm idk im not thinking o_o

BWill9014 4

Monday 25 April 2011 14:03

Lolwut

meegsiiee 5

Monday 25 April 2011 11:05

Wdf??? Big deal....

madman01 0

Monday 25 April 2011 11:08

he might teach you how to win.

G_thelegend 0

Monday 25 April 2011 11:19

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

dirtyblond 4

Monday 25 April 2011 11:25

Hell nahh, that's not creepy. Well at least for me it isn't!;D

ChantelRenaeee 0

Monday 25 April 2011 11:42

yeah, i would be pretty scared.:/

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The Top

Today, I arrived at the pizza place I work at to find that I'd been fired. Apparently, the class stoner came in last night and not only demanded a free pizza, but also claimed that I always gave him one. I've never talked to this kid in my life, but my boss still doesn't believe me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 211

You deserved it 2 086

Today, after my husband's phone buzzed like crazy all morning, I decided to pick it up and see what all the fuss was about. He had three new picture messages from his "boss", naked and strapped to a chair with the caption, "Are you still coming over tonight?" We've been married for nine years and have two children. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 583

You deserved it 4 658

The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 39 892

You deserved it 9 985

Today, I recently quit doing housework in protest at my husband's laziness around the house, forcing him to start pulling his weight. The house has never been so clean. Apparently, most of the mess was caused by me moving things to clean around them and making the mess worse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 285

You deserved it 1 792

Today, I was in IKEA when my friends and I thought it would be fun to play hide and seek. We all hid; I was in a good hiding spot. Half an hour later, I was still there. I texted my friends to see where they were. They all left to see a movie, and forgot about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 096

You deserved it 13 000

Today, I met a nice guy who wanted to chat. I didn't want to be the bitchy type and throw him the "I have a boyfriend" line right away, so I conversed with him. When he asked was I single I, of course, said no. He yelled at me and made a huge scene about me leading him on. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 820

You deserved it 830

Today, I was at a concert and I was having so much fun. Unfortunately, this was cut short when the person behind me with the worst halitosis started singing along to the songs. He knew ALL the lyrics. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 159

You deserved it 1 029

Today, I witnessed my first drunken bar brawl. Yes, my 54-year-old husband was one of the participants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 652

You deserved it 241

Same thing different taste

My life is average

Panic in the sheets of Luton…

Night terrors

First time?

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