By RawrSparkle - 21/09/2012 07:31 - United States - Davis

Spicy
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 123
You deserved it 14 370
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Same thing different taste

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Top comments

Lifeh8sme2 11

I'm more curious as to why you had penis-shaped cookies.

695 8
ohcoolstorybro 14

How many could you fit?

432 8

Comments

kittenvks 11

Look guys, a cookie is a cookie.

40 2
crimsonlover4 31

But a penis cookie is even better with filling on the inside :)

17 2
ArielTheMermaid 17

This is so sad. OP, try to make some friends? :)

3 30
Pandacupcakelove 26

Just because you're not around other people 24/7 doesn't have to mean you don't have any friends.

14 1
agonydrum 7

It does if you're baking yourself a batch of penis shaped cookies and than eating them off the floor, it also means your probably a weirdo

4 14
selahsmithereens 1

Cookies are cookies, regardless of shape! Most people eat off the floor of their own houses anyway, and due to the novelty shape they were probably for a party or event and OP didn't want to feel guilty giving people dirty floor dick cookies.

6 0
agonydrum 7

No most people don't eat off the floor, that's disgusting, and she didn't have to eat them she could have just..idk.. Picked them up? Which if they were for a party she probably would have done, instead she ate them all her self off the floor in her pajamas

1 5
ArielTheMermaid 17

I wasn't saying she didn't. It was just a very very vague assumption that does seem kind of rude now that I reread it. My apologies

1 1
agonydrum 7

Isn't the opportunity to be a rude asshole to strangers like 50% of why this site exists?

0 1
WhyCantIDoRight 5

16 is a brony, So they most likely don't have friends.

1 1
rattusrattus 18

This is an acceptable life choice if they were chocolate chip dick cookies. If they were raisin, then seriously, what the ****, who puts FRUIT in COOKIES?! I mean, if you put fruit in the cookies then YDI. If they were chocolate though, all is forgiven.

42 5
perdix 29

So, did you swallow the icing or spit it out?

63 3
fyreprincess 3

perdix: had to go read your profile, since you so frequently make me smile. now I am looking for your comments in FMLs that I wouldn't normally open for further reading.

4 16
deequu 20

5 second rule isn't actually a rule. It there is no rule because once food is dropped its loaded with bacteria that shouldn't be there.

7 35
tisvana20 6

Actually it takes dry food a whole minute to be contaminated by floor bacteria. Wet food takes thirty seconds. At least on a floor that's cleaned more than once a month.

5 18
agonydrum 7

58 who told you that? Because they lied to you..

13 2
selahsmithereens 1

Bacteria covers every single surface we are surrounded by and all parts of our bodies. As long as you don't have mounds of rotting food or bodily waste covering your kitchen floor it's unlikely you're going to be eating 'contaminated' food if you pick it off the floor.

7 2
melij99 5

Does anyone remember the origin of the '5 second rule'? I feel like it came around in the late 90's but I can't remember from where.

7 1
Dracoboxer357 35

^ Hmmm, I remember that rule back when I was 15, flipping burgers at an A&W, and that was in 1995, so I'm sure it's older than that, if that helps. :)

3 0
Habu987 9

I can remember it from at least the early 90s, although it ranged anywhere from 3 seconds to 30 seconds at the time. 5 was the most common one I heard, though.

1 0
RedPillSucks 31

The 5 sec rule has been around for much longer than the 90's. I'm old and I've heard it from as far back as the 70's

6 0
outoftown 26

Likely started just after the invention of clocks.

2 0
Dracoboxer357 35

Well, I think wasting food is borderline criminal, so saving them if they're still clean is acceptable. As far as eating them off the floor alone and in your pajamas....somehow I don't think doing that in a prom dress in front of a full house party would improve matters whatsoever. ;) Don't sweat it, Op, it's all a matter of perspective! :) One version is you ate tasty cookies while in your comfy clothes. Another is you were on your knees cramping as much dirty penis into your mouth as you could while dressed like a slob. ;) Somehow, I think I'd pick the former while recalling this story to your friends if I were you. :) Cheers! ;D

25 1
HeyArnold91 8

Has it been that long for you? Nonetheless, it take a real woman to admit to eating penis cookies off of the floor.

17 0
Enslaved 36

Were they cream filled cookies? Sounds better than an Oreo!

5 0