Kids: Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible,...

By Fat Dad - 03/03/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 653

You deserved it 43 809

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 01:32 - United States

Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 397

You deserved it 4 383

By monquiqui - 04/07/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 105

You deserved it 3 925

By anon. - 03/01/2011 11:37 - New Zealand

Today, I went for a drive with my boyfriend and his dad. His dad was kind enough to point out at every opportunity girls "that would be better for him than me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 500

You deserved it 3 085

By E…… - 02/03/2009 17:28 - United States

Today, while driving my kids to school, my son said, "Why don't you find another place to live, so we can just live with daddy?" Then my daughter added, "Yeah, 'cause we LOVE Daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 351

You deserved it 8 493

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 22:00

Today, I let my 19-year-old son drive my Lexus to his date. At 11:00 p.m., I watched him pull into the driveway with a broken taillight, marks and scratches all over the car, the front bumper missing, and him being nearly passed out because he's so drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 045

You deserved it 1 632

By John - 22/08/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 370

You deserved it 57 963

By Emma Five - 14/03/2012 03:22 - United States

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 600

You deserved it 32 267

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By Anonymous - 06/01/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, my dad is too old to drive, period, and yet while I was at work my wife thought it was a good idea to let him try her new Mercedes, which by the way I bought and insured. He used the accelerator like he was driving a shitbox Nissan and destroyed our local kebab shop's big front window and door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 549

You deserved it 143

By brenami - 31/12/2010 06:13 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 943

You deserved it 7 755

By Anonymous - 07/06/2013 22:00 - United States

Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 102

You deserved it 119 783

jayhawk63 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:50

Don't be creepin on the young ladies-moral of that story. Your daughter is a smart little girl.

Inkspell 2

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:41

ohhh, that sucks..how old is your daughter? that's a terrible thing to say.

Comments

Inkspell 2

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:41

ohhh, that sucks..how old is your daughter? that's a terrible thing to say.

ryguy997 0

Friday 12 March 2010 6:23

one kid that won't be bullied..,

bluerhhajfk 17

Sunday 5 May 2013 15:36

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

corocoro 30

Saturday 17 August 2013 15:10

Sometimes the truth hurts.

TrippingOnAcid 29

Tuesday 11 November 2014 22:00

I don't know how old OP but there's nothing worse than being sexualised by men old enough to be your father.

crudeandrudeguy 29

Saturday 19 December 2015 22:20

155- I don't want to be sexualized "posts picture of wonderful cleavage as profile photo"

ams_fml 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:41

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway

wiiareonfire 0

Sunday 25 July 2010 6:02

Obviously, you aren't. "You're" should be "your" in YOUR usage of the word.

luckyyyme 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:42

...ouch.

frankoisdarkel 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:42

children are perceptive ..

tsax421 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:44

... you just got owned by your kid. nice job!

McLaughlane 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:45

Man, that's rough. :(

alex_vik 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:46

Burn!

jayhawk63 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:50

Don't be creepin on the young ladies-moral of that story. Your daughter is a smart little girl.

weavermycutecat 0

Thursday 5 August 2010 15:33

hahaa i know.

SadinSherman 16

Thursday 28 October 2010 20:03

It was weird he would do that with his child in the car.

Alice_fml 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:51

Mid-life crisis alert!

jfpxiv 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:52

Ouch. Just... Ouch.

Keywords

Cars Transportation Poopoo peepee Health Awkward Dentist Shopping My ex Love Cats Animals Clothes Job interview Work Miscellaneous Weird Vacation Holidays Family Parents AITA Am I overreacting? Annoying Funerals Relatable Harassment Engagement Ironic Food Technology

The Top

Today, while at work, I saw a kid empty his bladder all over the floor. His mother walked over, looked at me, said, "Yep… that just happened," and dragged him away. I'm a 30-year-old man, four credits shy of a Master's, stuck cleaning up piss at a dead-end job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 057

You deserved it 3 210

Today, I came home from class to find a nasty note on my roommate's toaster oven. Apparently, cleaning it once a week isn't enough, and she wants it cleaned right after using it, which she never told me all school year. I'm banned from using it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 636

You deserved it 330

The Top

Today, my girlfriend and I had sex. Later, she said the highlight of her day was getting a cupcake from the grocery store. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 098

You deserved it 1 903

Today, I accidentally hit someone's car while in the supermarket car park. I left a note, went shopping, and when I came back my windows were shattered, my tires were slashed, and "FUCK YOU" was written on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 722

You deserved it 15 862

Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 661

You deserved it 2 494

Today, my girfriend of two years told me she wasn't actually a lesbian and our relationship was more of a 'learning experience'. FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 934

You deserved it 11 751

Today, while my girlfriend is in hospital, I'm left at home with her mom. What I didn't know is that her mom's medication makes her do strange things. I learned that right away when she took a seat next to me, completely naked, on the couch. My girlfriend's mom is my grandmother's age. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 705

You deserved it 127

Today, I was alone at my dad's house. I was furiously masturbating when I knocked something over. It was my grandmother's ashes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 134

You deserved it 557

Same thing different taste

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