Kids: Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible,...

By Fat Dad - 03/03/2009 21:27 - United States

Today, I drove my two kids to their friends' houses. In my convertible, looking what I though was my best, I slowed down outside a bar with cute 20 year old girls in front. My daughter noticed the speed reduction and said, "Keep driving dad, you're fat and mom left you for a reason." FML

I agree, your life sucks 56 654

You deserved it 43 811

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 19/09/2009 01:32 - United States

Today, I was driving through a neighborhood and saw a "slow down, children" sign. I was nice and slowed down as I passed a couple little kids with their parents outside watching them. I guess I was going too slow because one of the fathers started chasing me down the street calling me a pedophile. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 398

You deserved it 4 383

By monquiqui - 04/07/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I had to drive my drunk parents home from a party. They leaned out the window and barked at everyone we passed all the way home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 105

You deserved it 3 925

By anon. - 03/01/2011 11:37 - New Zealand

Today, I went for a drive with my boyfriend and his dad. His dad was kind enough to point out at every opportunity girls "that would be better for him than me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 500

You deserved it 3 085

By E…… - 02/03/2009 17:28 - United States

Today, while driving my kids to school, my son said, "Why don't you find another place to live, so we can just live with daddy?" Then my daughter added, "Yeah, 'cause we LOVE Daddy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 83 353

You deserved it 8 494

By Anonymous - 02/06/2019 22:00

Today, I let my 19-year-old son drive my Lexus to his date. At 11:00 p.m., I watched him pull into the driveway with a broken taillight, marks and scratches all over the car, the front bumper missing, and him being nearly passed out because he's so drunk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 046

You deserved it 1 633

By John - 22/08/2009 05:05 - United States

Today, I took my 15 year old daughter driving. I yelled at her for not going safely around corners. On the way home, while demonstrating how to drive right, I went around a corner and hit a cement truck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 370

You deserved it 57 963

By Emma Five - 14/03/2012 03:22 - United States

Today, my dad was driving me to college. I'd cracked a joke about how old people like him shouldn't be allowed to drive, and I guess he took it personally, what with him speeding straight up to the parking lot wall, and only braking after I started shrieking in terror. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 601

You deserved it 32 269

Public menace

By Anonymous - 06/01/2024 05:00 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, my dad is too old to drive, period, and yet while I was at work my wife thought it was a good idea to let him try her new Mercedes, which by the way I bought and insured. He used the accelerator like he was driving a shitbox Nissan and destroyed our local kebab shop's big front window and door. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 143

By brenami - 31/12/2010 06:13 - United States

Today, I took my daughter to the grocery store. The bag boy seemed to be flirting with me and smiling. He had to be half my age. Once in the car I glimpsed myself in the rear view mirror. I had chocolate completely covering one of my front teeth. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 946

You deserved it 7 755

By Anonymous - 07/06/2013 22:00 - United States

Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 102

You deserved it 119 784

jayhawk63 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:50

Don't be creepin on the young ladies-moral of that story. Your daughter is a smart little girl.

Inkspell 2

Wednesday 4 March 2009 1:41

ohhh, that sucks..how old is your daughter? that's a terrible thing to say.

Comments

sugarpopkiss 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 9:47

I read this and burst out laughing. OP = Owned. :)

Puolukka 4

Wednesday 4 March 2009 12:24

Um?! Why does everyone assume that he's over 30?! I know a guy who's 23 and he has a 7 year-old daughter and a 4 year-old son...so when his daughter turns 13, he'll be 29...I don't think that's too old to hit on a 20 year-old girl...lol...people on here are just so judgemental...he could have a teenage girl and still be younger than 30...he'd then have been a teenage Dad which is also pretty stupid...but at least he's not some old creep staring at young girls...

musu_fml 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 12:32

#12: I think the drinking age over in the US varies from state to state; 21 in some, 18 in others. To the OP, I'd have turned that car right around and taken them back home. Explain to them that it's not smart or polite to insult someone who is doing you a favour, and suggest that they take the bus in future.

Sulaco_fml 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 13:22

"Thanks honey. You're grounded."

watupyo 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 14:54

To #55, the drinking age of 21 went national in 1984. Some states do allow exceptions like if your parents give you permission or something, though. It's so stupid...you're a legal adult at 18, but you can't drink 'til you're 21. To #54, if the dad were 20-something, he wouldn't have referred to the girls as 20-year-olds. Man, what a creep, especially since his daughter sounds like she's 14-15...*shudder*

Tucatz 0

Wednesday 4 March 2009 15:37

I agree with the majority- you got pwn3d by your daughter. As a man in his forties with a 16 year old daughter, I'd say you earned that one, dude. Besides, do you really want to date someone that much younger than you are? You're (hopefully) past the point of being into what's trendy and going clubbing all night. What would you really have in common with these chicks? Go for women nearer your own age. They have more experience at sex, they don't attach all the drama and headgames to it and they're less likely to be after your wallet than a twentysomething that would go after a middle aged man.