Miscellaneous: Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial...

By yeah - 22/06/2012 03:07 - United States

Today, I entered my first professional fight as a mixed martial artist. It's been my dream to become a UFC champion one day. All I do is train and watch UFC fights all day. I was out cold in a matter of seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 753

You deserved it 27 759

Thanksgiving: Turkeys and Skids
Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

Previous FML Next FML

Same thing different taste

MMA FML

By ThatEndedWell - 07/01/2019 22:00 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I decided to challenge the jerk jock at work to a fight, since he kept poking fun at me for being a weakling. Having started taking MMA classes, I was confident I'd make him eat his words. Just my luck, he's an MMA instructor and kicked my ass effortlessly. Not what I had planned. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 164

You deserved it 4 613

Not so ready to rumble

By Anonymous - 08/10/2019 14:00

Today, my pro wrestling training class had come to a close and I was gathering my things outside of the ring. One of my fellow trainees got out of the ring on the side where there was nothing but giant stage lights. He knocked them over onto me, giving me my first pro wrestling injury. I’d always thought that would happen in the ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 323

You deserved it 154

By anonymous - 27/02/2010 16:06 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 570

You deserved it 3 111

Worth it

By Anonymous - 29/04/2012 19:26 - United States - Rapid City

Today, I drove for hours to attend a martial arts tournament, and then I waited ages for it to finally start. I lost in less than a minute. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 774

You deserved it 6 686

Cobra KO

By WeakBitch - 18/02/2018 15:00

Today, during a judo session, I was paired with a thin, frail-looking rookie. Before a mock skirmish, as I'm much bigger, I said I'd take it easy on her, but also to give it her best shot. She immediately threw me on my face to the floor, knocking me out cold in 7 seconds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 7 641

By Anonymous - 11/08/2013 18:11 - Canada - Edmonton

Today, I had a dream in which I was being mugged. I started fighting the muggers off, while in reality, my fist smacked my wife in the face. Now she has a black eye, nobody believes my story, and they think I'm a wife beater. FML

I agree, your life sucks 55 406

You deserved it 5 960

Self defence

By Anonymous - 10/11/2018 22:00

Today, a few years after getting mugged inspired me to start hitting the gym and taking karate classes, I was mugged again, this time in front of my girlfriend who I actually met at the gym. I was knocked out with one punch. It was the same mugger with the same neck tattoo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 879

You deserved it 364

By DJ - 07/04/2013 18:52 - Ireland - Dublin

Today, I started training for a charity boxing match. When I got home and walked through the door, my dad punched me in the stomach to test my reaction time. As I lay on the floor trying to catch my breath, he said my reaction time was "terrible". FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 614

You deserved it 5 882

By Anonymous - 24/07/2017 07:00 - United States - Warren

Today, while having a bad dream, I went to punch a bully in the face. Mid-swing I wake up and punch the solid concrete wall to my basement bedroom FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 277

You deserved it 644

By jc2011 - 25/09/2011 07:23 - Australia

Today, after months of grueling training and countless early mornings, I finally began the race I had been preparing for over the past year, only to slip and break my leg in the first 450 meters. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 282

You deserved it 3 050

SkoomaKi 27

Friday 22 June 2012 8:59

You need to do a training montage. Perhaps "Eye of the tiger" would be a good song choice to go with it.

MGSPOP 1

Friday 22 June 2012 9:00

Practice more instead of watching UFC, you'll get better. :)

Comments

LiamOFlaherty 9

Saturday 23 June 2012 1:21

I'm an MMA fighter too, it's hard mate! just keep at it:)

Guitar360 4

Saturday 23 June 2012 1:26

Stop watching the fights and train harder. Do you think those guys stay on top of the social aspect of it when they are training?

GypsyRover 0

Saturday 23 June 2012 1:41

Lmao! My gf can take more face shots then you! ;-)

proffbra000 1

Saturday 23 June 2012 1:59

U suck

davyjonesno1 0

Saturday 23 June 2012 2:00

what's your amateur record like? is striking your weakest attribute?

Shayton 12

Saturday 23 June 2012 2:13

Work on protecting yourself. Watch Anderson Silva on how to dodge and move in the ring. Keep training. Look forward to seeing you as a UFC champ

momo1972 3

Saturday 23 June 2012 3:17

Plan for an early retirement

debins33 1

Saturday 23 June 2012 3:45

Keep it up. Its just your first fight, learn from the mistakes you made.

lvhq 0

Saturday 23 June 2012 4:14

I... had a dream... once... I'm malicious, mean, and scary, my sneer could curdle dairy, and violence-wise my hands are not the cleanest; but despite my evil look, and my temper (and my hook), I've always yearned to be a concert pianist!