By Palindromesque - 04/09/2013 09:07 - United States - Seattle
I agree, your life sucks
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Palindromesque tells us more.
Hi all, OP here! I'm crying with laughter-you all are hilarious, seriously! To respond to some questions-I discovered my roommate's predilection for silverware and kitchen implements when I poked my head into her room to tell her something and saw an open drawer with a good collection of my utensils. She was actually quite forthcoming, and explained in jaw-dropping detail some uses for a number of them. We've agreed that she can go ahead and keep what she's "used," and that she'll replace the implements now and in future...no cross contamination, she promises. Overall, I'm glad she's sensually creative, so I don't feel the need to resort to hot sauce or splinters! I just fear for the next time she's browsing in the kitchen-I may not be able to scramble eggs for breakfast.
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Interesting situation you have there OP
Buy identical ones?
So that OP can confuse them with the ones that have been inside of the roommate?
perdix
29
Without being able to eat, maybe she'll lose enough weight to get men to come in and take care of her needs;)
Yeah because obviously every single girl out there is single because not pretty enough (or even worse, too "big" for men's taste).
Anything Perdix says is a joke, hes not meant to be taken seriously. Ever. Plus, its the internet. Dont get so worked up over a FML comment.
Talk about shallow -_-
Solution: Google Search: " Sex toys that resemble kitchen utensils" and get her a early Christmas gift ;)
I'd consider looking for a new roommate OP...after throwing out those utensils that is.
My pasta tastes fishy.
Need to keep that in mind when buying utensils in the future - look for styles that make bad sex toys. Either that or take a grinder to your existing set and add some burs and sharp edges.
ninjuh_wingman
29
Ah hell no. If that happened to me, I wouldn't even touch anything in the kitchen. I'd just douse everything with like 20 gallons of bleach.
It could add some interesting new flavors to your sauces! Roll with the punches!
perdix
29
Why is my dough rising even though I haven't added the yeast yet? . . . oooooh!
Finally, Perdix, a comment on this thread being upvoted (although barely)!
1PersonIsMyWorld
22
shut up 37.. nothin good to say, keep your mouth shut.
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Actually, I would just throw them away. You wouldn't see me using them in the kitchen after she's been at them.
How does she use the can opener or bottle opener or the egg beater? Actually, I don't really want to know.