Health: Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped...

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By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 15:21 - United States

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 312

You deserved it 3 859

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Same thing different taste

Pissed

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 05:01

Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 1 429

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 764

You deserved it 73 913

By waterdog - 18/04/2011 20:12 - United States

Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 612

You deserved it 4 360

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 238

You deserved it 2 477

By Nobody - 10/10/2009 12:07 - Singapore

Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 683

You deserved it 5 209

By b.fritz - 24/09/2016 10:02 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 774

You deserved it 1 185

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 11:13 - India

Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 940

You deserved it 6 054

By thedullard - 16/02/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 466

You deserved it 31 247

By Anonymous - 02/01/2013 11:15 - France - Ville-d'avray

Today, after a drunken New Year's Eve party with friends, I woke up with a penis on my cheek. It wasn't a drawing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 798

You deserved it 2 051

By Good 2 have friends. - 28/12/2010 18:04 - United States

Today, I had the last wedding meeting with my fiancé at our church. Running extremely late from my friends house I failed to notice a small penis drawn on my forehead by my friends when I fell asleep after a party. The priest wasn't too happy and said numerous prayers for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 189

You deserved it 26 833

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:05

It just goes to show that Freud was right: Subconciously, dicks are always on your mind.

lilhellian 26

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:05

Cum on op, he was just trying to lighten the mood. :)

Comments

onorexveritas 23

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:39

I tip my hat to that man

Cowsxgoxmoo78 8

Wednesday 29 May 2013 20:04

Let's be honest here op. If someone said that this had happened to them and not you.... You'd laugh. Kinda sucks but definitely chuckle worthy

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 29 May 2013 20:11

Maybe it was a female that drew it. That's one reason I carry my lipstick with me at all times. You never know when the penis drawing monster may emerge from within.

perdix 29

Wednesday 29 May 2013 20:33

#35, that's why I play DrawSomething!

Enslaved 36

Wednesday 29 May 2013 20:54

Damn you! I thought those were Éclairs! I've even gotten hungry thinking about its creamed filling.:P Sorry if the Candy Crush craze gives you penis drawing withdraws.

Drifting 21

Wednesday 29 May 2013 20:20

Awe you gotta laugh, that is one of the most harmless things someone could have done to while passed out. Just laugh.

Samafilbeit 11

Wednesday 29 May 2013 20:30

Sorry OP, FYL indeed, but I can't front, I laughed. But I am glad that it was just a drawing of a penis on your head and not...well I've heard some horror stories!

DenBriZel 31

Wednesday 29 May 2013 20:32

Aww that sucks... Poor guy

Zebediabolical 39

Wednesday 29 May 2013 20:56

A friend of mine passed out on his front walkway staggering home form the bar. He woke up with no shoes, no pants, no watch no wallet. His laptop was also gone from inside the unlocked house. His keys were inside, but he rekeyed everything anyway cuz he's that kind of paranoid. Consider yourself lucky that's all he did OP

cna1216 15

Wednesday 29 May 2013 21:12

Do you have a condition? Or do just do that to get a guys junk on your head?

corleon198425 22

Wednesday 29 May 2013 21:17

i was that EMT

Zebediabolical 39

Wednesday 29 May 2013 21:22

NO I AM SPARTAC... I mean... I was that EMT!

LyraAlluse 25

Wednesday 29 May 2013 21:40

Don't worry, you can always get revenge on the EMT and the random bystander by hunting them down and then doodling all over their faces while they are sleeping like Jigglypuff.