Health: Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped...

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By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 15:21 - United States

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 312

You deserved it 3 859

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Same thing different taste

Pissed

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 05:01

Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 351

You deserved it 1 429

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 764

You deserved it 73 913

By waterdog - 18/04/2011 20:12 - United States

Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 612

You deserved it 4 360

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 238

You deserved it 2 477

By Nobody - 10/10/2009 12:07 - Singapore

Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 683

You deserved it 5 209

By b.fritz - 24/09/2016 10:02 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 774

You deserved it 1 185

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 11:13 - India

Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 940

You deserved it 6 054

By thedullard - 16/02/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 466

You deserved it 31 247

By Anonymous - 02/01/2013 11:15 - France - Ville-d'avray

Today, after a drunken New Year's Eve party with friends, I woke up with a penis on my cheek. It wasn't a drawing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 798

You deserved it 2 051

By Good 2 have friends. - 28/12/2010 18:04 - United States

Today, I had the last wedding meeting with my fiancé at our church. Running extremely late from my friends house I failed to notice a small penis drawn on my forehead by my friends when I fell asleep after a party. The priest wasn't too happy and said numerous prayers for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 189

You deserved it 26 833

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:05

It just goes to show that Freud was right: Subconciously, dicks are always on your mind.

lilhellian 26

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:05

Cum on op, he was just trying to lighten the mood. :)

Comments

olpally 32

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:11

Looks like we got a 13 year old bad ass on the loose! Lol. Who does that after someone faints? What a jerk.

kelseythompson 27

Thursday 30 May 2013 0:13

I'd rather have someone draw a dick on my forehead than say getting pissed on my a homeless man.. people will do messed up stuff to a helpless person just because they can.. least in this case it was harmless

ethanman82 8

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:18

If that happened to me I would have balled my eyes out.

uhohhcece 4

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:18

I would've laughed too lol.

perdix 29

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:19

He did help you -- he made you funnier.

thatnucca 36

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:21

Wrong and hilarious at the same time...

Jharrist89 12

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:22

And adults criticize kids for doing stupid shit..

Ariet 20

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:24

It might've been fun for everyone else but clearly not for OP. FYL indeed.

FitForFun 11

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:25

When life gives you opportunities to help people, remember we live in America and everyone's a comedian.

DocBastard 38

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:51

Speak for yourself, champ.

FitForFun 11

Thursday 30 May 2013 4:45

I wasn't trying to be serious, I do charity work myself when I can. I am just saying the lack of people willing to really help, rather then point things out and turn it into a joke is staggeringly small.