Health: Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped...

By Anonymous - 29/05/2013 15:21 - United States

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 305

You deserved it 3 859

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Same thing different taste

Pissed

By Anonymous - 14/12/2021 05:01

Today, in frustration, I threw a spanner across the room at work, but it bounced back and hit me in the head. I woke up in an ambulance with a cracked skull and a gorgeous EMT lady. I would've tried to ask her out, but while I was out cold I'd pissed myself, and the whole ambulance reeked of it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 350

You deserved it 1 419

By Anonymous - 13/03/2011 22:26 - United States

Today, in an attempt to impress a girl I like, I tried to crush a soda can by hitting it with my forehead. Not only did I fail, I knocked myself out in the process. When I regained consciousness, the girl was gone and someone had taken the liberty of drawing a penis on my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 763

You deserved it 73 908

By waterdog - 18/04/2011 20:12 - United States

Today, I was carefully drawing blood from a drunk who'd threatened to kill me if I hurt him, when another drunk behind me decided to take a piss on my leg. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 606

You deserved it 4 359

By shalara - 15/06/2012 20:23 - Netherlands - Amstelveen

Today, I was walking down the street, when I saw a guy in front of me trip and fall forwards, and I quickly jumped forward to steady him. Apparently he thought he was being mugged, and threw his head backwards into my face, leaving my nose a bloody mess. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 229

You deserved it 2 475

By Nobody - 10/10/2009 12:07 - Singapore

Today, I saw a man lying on the street. He seemed unconscious, so, being a nurse I went over and found he had choked. I removed the object from his throat and used CPR to revive him. My reward? A mouthful of vomit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 674

You deserved it 5 206

By b.fritz - 24/09/2016 10:02 - United States - Saint Louis

Today, I'm sitting in the emergency room because my girlfriend thought it would be funny to superglue my penis to my thigh while I was sleeping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 762

You deserved it 1 184

By Anonymous - 09/11/2010 11:13 - India

Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 936

You deserved it 6 052

By thedullard - 16/02/2009 05:35 - United States

Today, at the gym, I see a person laying unconscious on the ground with people crowded around. Previously being a lifeguard, and knowing CPR, I ran over and asked a man what happened, preparing to check his vitals. I then realized that the body was a dummy and the employees were doing a drill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 459

You deserved it 31 237

By Anonymous - 02/01/2013 11:15 - France - Ville-d'avray

Today, after a drunken New Year's Eve party with friends, I woke up with a penis on my cheek. It wasn't a drawing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 788

You deserved it 2 045

By Good 2 have friends. - 28/12/2010 18:04 - United States

Today, I had the last wedding meeting with my fiancé at our church. Running extremely late from my friends house I failed to notice a small penis drawn on my forehead by my friends when I fell asleep after a party. The priest wasn't too happy and said numerous prayers for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 187

You deserved it 26 824

Pleonasm 35

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:05

It just goes to show that Freud was right: Subconciously, dicks are always on your mind.

lilhellian 26

Wednesday 29 May 2013 19:05

Cum on op, he was just trying to lighten the mood. :)

Comments

CrookedCook 14

Wednesday 29 May 2013 21:49

how you know he wasn't actually the one who called the ambulance? XD

Blee864 16

Wednesday 29 May 2013 21:58

Comin from a FF that's the best thing be read all day!!!!

xTrepidation 14

Wednesday 29 May 2013 22:45

Since you were passed out, how do you know the EMT didn't draw it and just blamed someone else!

BlackPhenom 9

Wednesday 29 May 2013 23:07

What a ********.

ColbyGB 13

Wednesday 29 May 2013 23:38

Mans a legend

worldclassrager 39

Wednesday 29 May 2013 23:50

That's a guy thing...and I can relate...

JessicaZado 11

Thursday 30 May 2013 0:03

Geez. That guy must of had something up his ass. I wouldn't worry about to much OP. Glad to hear you're okay!

emuexport 4

Thursday 30 May 2013 3:30

I woulda done that !!!

Angie9443 4

Thursday 30 May 2013 4:11

How do you know the EMT laughed if you were passed out? I'm gonna play it safe and call this story BS

jjurox101 5

Thursday 30 May 2013 5:36

Has anyone noticed that in each of the newer FMLs, someone laughs?

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The Top

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I agree, your life sucks 28 086

You deserved it 2 489

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I agree, your life sucks 1 994

You deserved it 1 050

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I agree, your life sucks 40 116

You deserved it 9 825

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I agree, your life sucks 990

You deserved it 102

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I agree, your life sucks 958

You deserved it 77

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I agree, your life sucks 29 638

You deserved it 6 973

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I agree, your life sucks 3 865

You deserved it 219

Today, I have to get an ultrasound at the hospital. In order to get a clear picture, I need to have a full bladder. I've been waiting my turn for 2 hours now, desperately needing to pee. There are still multiple patients ahead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 785

You deserved it 3 094

Same thing different taste

Pissed

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