There's almost zero attention outside of Tumblr, I'm pretty sure the kid was just confused because of hairstyle or something.

People on tumblr can become parents, it isn't unreasonable for them to teach their children good habits. I've seen more attention in many places personally.

I wouldn't call that a "good habit". It honestly just makes you seem socially awkward to ask somebody their gender.

I would rather people ask what my pronouns are in exchange for a few minutes of discomfort than have people constantly mistake me for a boy and make me experience dysphoria my whole life.

We do seek help for it. It has been proven, time and time again, that the only way we have to treat gender dysphoria, is to transition. Did it ever occur to you that transgender people transition because trying to change someone's core gender identity simply does not work?

It isn't my mental illness. I am cis. I don't have this issue personally. But some of my closest friends are trans and them being able to express who they are and be recognized for who they are has completely transformed their state of mind for the better. No amount of therapy, medication, "help", anything else, has helped as much as being recognized for they truly are. One of my trans friends never smiled. He looked absolutely miserable in every picture until he began his transition and word got around that he was actually a boy. He is now being recognized for who he is, he can smile now, and his smile is genuine. When I asked him if he was a boy he said I made his day. He was so happy that I took the time to consider his identity, unlike every other person he came across, who didn't think of asking that. So yes, I absolutely support the idea of asking a persons gender and pronouns, and as you said, it is reasonable to do so. When you introduce yourself to someone, ask what their pronouns are also. Extremely simple. Its one little thing that can make a world of difference in a trans person's life.

I have to be honest, though I think you're very right about everything you're saying, asking a person who isn't Transgender that probably won't have the same effect. I don't read Tumblr, not do I know anyone who is Transgender, so this idea isn't known to me. If a child came up to me and asked me if I were a boy or a girl, I wouldn't assume it's because of the attention being drawn to the issues Transgender people face.

Yeah, it might not be the reason, but it's not a long shot that it could be. To many cis people today it would be considered an insult, but to trans people it can be an extremely validating thing. To have someone walk up to you and call you by the wrong pronoun is like walking up to someone and calling them "Steve" even though their name is "George," but having this happen every single day of your life. It would become exhausting to constantly correct people, which is why trans people often don't. If we can make it normal for people to ask everyone they meet what their pronouns are, it will no longer be an insult to a cis person, it would no longer be socially awkward, and this FML would just be a cute little thing a kid is learning how to do properly in order to be a nice person.

Why should it be a normal thing for less than 5% of the population? Do you walk up to people and ask if they're heterosexual or homosexual? Stop being so sensitive, gay guys don't get offended when people assume they like ******, you shouldn't be offended when people assume you're a man because you have a penis. Just correct them and move on.

People literally kill themselves over not being recognized for their true gender. THAT is why you ask people when you meet them. So you can not **** that up. I don't ask people about who they are sexually or romantically attracted to because I am usually not interested in pursuing a relationship with them so who they are interested in is irrelevant. I will likely need to say "his/hers/theirs" to or about a trans person so it is a good idea to ask. What you are describing is heteronormativity and cisnormativity, and both are bad mindsets to have. People should not be considered straight and cis until told otherwise, they should have their identity validated, and they shouldn't have to correct people constantly. Needing to correct people all the time makes a person feel different, like they are an outsider. If OP is upset about having someone question their gender one time, it would make sense that trans people would be upset about having people assume their gender every day. In my eyes, it is worth a few moments of extra conversation to ensure I am addressing someone correctly. Also, I appreciate that you aren't denying LGBTQIA existence. I recommend reading up about this more, you might learn some things you never knew! Also again... I don't have a dick and I identify as female. I will not tell a trans person to be less sensitive when I don't fully know what they are going through. What I am telling you is what I have picked up from numerous sources over the years.

Because the shame involved in being misgendered doesn't only affect the transgender population. That's why this FML exists. The OP isn't transgender but its still affecting her.

"People literally kill themselves over not being recognized for their true gender." People kill themselves over a lot of things, it's nobody's duty to validate anybody's gender. If you want to be identified a certain way by people you interact with often, let them know. The burden is on you, not others. It is a niche problem, the whole world should not have to conform to the minority. "I don't ask people about who they are sexually or romantically attracted to because I am usually not interested in pursuing a relationship with them so who they are interested in is irrelevant." What if you walked up to a gay friend and said "So how's the girlfriend?" because you didn't know he was gay? There are plenty of situations where sexual orientation comes into play without involving you being attracted to somebody else, that's ignorant for somebody who's preaching universal tolerance. "People should not be considered straight and cis until told otherwise" Except that those are reasonable assumptions to make, as the majority of the world is. "In my eyes, it is worth a few moments of extra conversation to ensure I am addressing someone correctly." In my eyes, it's awkward and socially tacky. If you're not frequently conversing with somebody, why does it matter if they know your true gender? I once had a teacher, somebody I saw every single day, who mistakenly called me "Adam". My name isn't Adam, and it's actually common for people to call me that on accident. If something like that is a big deal to you, just correct the people you actually talk to more than once in your life. It's not that difficult. Rather than burden the entire world with PC bullshit, how about taking responsibility? "Also, I appreciate that you aren't denying LGBTQIA existence." I dated a girl for three years, she now identifies as a man. I've seen it first hand, but that doesn't mean I agree that it's a widespread issue. I think it should be handled on a case-by-case basis. Again, I'm not preaching that it's okay for people to be intolerant towards people who identify differently than the norm. However, your argument is so far off base. "Also again... I don't have a dick and I identify as female." Just a general example. I didn't bother to look at your profile.

After posting further details, yes, the kid was just being a kid and wasn't considering whether she was transgender. OP, you are gorgeous even with hair in various places. Kids don't get that some people have cute differences. But asking the gender of a person you need to be around regularly isn't a bad thing. That is so you can address them properly. That isn't misgendering, and it isn't nearly as bad as being called a gender you're not every single day. Misgendering is being called a gender you're not, misgendering is not asking. In OP's case I can see how asking could be offensive, but still, if asking were a normal thing OP wouldn't have been quite as upset by this, and the kid might be more likely to understand that some girls have facial hair and she wouldn't have asked in the first place. Because of early exposure, the kid would grow up knowing that appearance does not determine gender.

It's one simple thing you can do to make someone feel like their gender matters. You aren't required to do it, but I feel it is a good idea. Also don't do it with LITERALLY everyone you see because thats weird, but when they say "hi i'm ____" you just reply "hi _____, what pronouns do you use? ...*they reply*.. Okay thank you, I will keep that in mind" and you proceed to introduce yourself. I wouldn't ask a unknown gay friend how the girlfriend is, and if I am interested in their romantic life I will ask about their lover/datemate/cutie/dearest/bae/crush/person they are interested in, but I wouldn't ask anyway because that's their business, not mine. I am heteroromantic and asexual and if people bother to ask about my sex life i just say I don't have sex. My romantic and sex life aren't their business either way because sex and romance is a private experience, not who I am. I care about who a person is, not who they ****. The school I attend has massive LGBTQIA acceptance, and if you spent awhile there you would see how common it really is. Most of my school friends are either lesbian, gay, or pan, I am ace, I think there are a few straight people and the rest aren't open about their sexuality, which is also normal because sexuality is private. There are countless other open asexuals, lesbians, gays, and trans people there. It is a hell of a lot more common than you think and seems more common than stats say. Again, I will ask new people I meet and talk to regularly what pronouns they prefer, because I feel it is worth it to make sure they are addressed properly. If thats not your style, okay. But I hope one day in the near future this will become common practice. People call me by the wrong name too, and I just correct them. That is a mistake, that isn't making assumptions about what my name really is. I feel that your argument is so far off base too. Lets agree to disagree. Maybe one day when we have both long forgot about this conversation we will see eye to eye on this issue but today is not that day. Thank you for sharing your POV. :)

I'm not going to agree to disagree, all of your evidence is subjective and you haven't proved a thing. The burden of proof is on you, you're trying to make the change.

I don't need to change anything or prove anything to someone who is antipathetic towards this issue, especially someone on the internet. I will I respectfully disagree with your opinion, whether or not you respect mine. Again, thank you for showing me your POV. Have a good evening.

#112 You're entitled to your opinion and that's fine, but don't go spouting bullshit about most transgenders comitting suicide after surgery instead of before.

#114 - Did some digging - suicide rates among transgendered people range from a 4% (surgical) to 11% (medical) increase post operation, and as many as 21% claim to regret their transition. It's not a bullshit statistic, sadly.

And I didn't have to do much digging to determine that the stat you used was based on a insanely flawed study. Good try though.

I don't appreciate the condescending attitude. "Good try though." as though I'm hoping people will feel depressed and ostracized? Please, maybe show some actual evidence next time you call somebody who's posting (theoretically) factual information. As far as I'm concerned, the information I found is fact since you didn't provide any actual statistics or sources.

#140 I do know that regrets after the surgery happens, sadly. I've also seen it happen. But it's not always because of the surgery (or complications. afyer surgery), but due to social complications (not being able to pass for example or having too high hopes). But the thing I'm aiming at, is that it's basically impossible to know if people commit more or less suicide after surgery/hormones. Some examples: a person struggling with their gender who is not out yet, commits suicide. A young person who came out to their parents, parents don't agree, person commits suicide, parents never tell. Anyway, what I'm wondering, is when at what stage, these statistics consider someone transgender.

All I'm seeing Mrconcise say is "Hmmmm, people are hurting... Is this source of pain likely to affect me? No? Well **** all of you then, I don't give a shit." Pretty cold. I don't want the world to revolve around me. But I try to do what I can to avoid hurting other people in my daily life and it really doesn't take a lot of effort. Not lashing out with a load of transphobic crap when I ask for the right pronouns to be used doesn't seem like a big ask to me. Sorry that it's too difficult for you.

Let's print everything in brail, some of us are blind. Let's get rid of every staircase, some of us are paraplegic. Let's block out the sun, some of us are albino. The burden is on the minority. The majority will help if the minority takes the initiative, as proven with paraplegics having public wheelchair ramps and brail being printed in places like hospitals. We will not and should not tailor our social behaviors to what amounts to less than one in ten people. Sorry, that's just ludicrous. We can and will be tolerant and help you through your struggles, but do not expect us to walk on eggshells through each social interaction on your behalf. By the way #141, very fair point about the suicide statistic. I'll concede there.

Bonermonkey speaks the truth

#51 your ignorance is showing

I feel pretty all the time!

I feel pretty, oh so prettyyyy~

Is male or female*

Are you that immature that you'd say that to a little kid?

Playground rules.