Animals: Today, I finally got proof of my theory when the dog came downstairs...

By Anonymous - 02/01/2014 02:32 - United Kingdom - Chelmsford

Today, I finally got proof of my theory when the dog came downstairs at 2 in the morning, looked me dead in the eye, pissed on the rug and took my socks before disappearing back upstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 567

You deserved it 4 289

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/04/2013 19:38 - United Kingdom - Bridgnorth

Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 527

You deserved it 8 485

By Anonymous - 23/04/2011 05:11 - United States

Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 104

You deserved it 4 178

Smooth criminal

By Anonymous - 26/04/2023 10:00

Today, I found out that my cat has been secretly stealing my socks and hiding them under the couch, when I found a pile of 15 socks after I finally moved my furniture to vacuum the floor underneath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 181

Bad boy

By Really - 14/05/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 89

By WellThatSucks - 23/05/2016 09:15 - United States

Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 190

You deserved it 1 396

By GotMyBitchBack - 05/09/2013 11:02 - United States - Zanesville

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 522

You deserved it 3 047

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 088

You deserved it 8 765

By Anonymous - 20/12/2012 19:50 - Spain - Santa Cruz De Tenerife

Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 997

You deserved it 9 670

By heartattack - 03/02/2019 16:00

Today, after I moved into my new 1930's house, my elderly rescue dog raised her hackles and stared at the wall behind my bed for two full minutes. I thought she might have recognized something from her old job. She's a retired cadaver dog. I guess I'm never sleeping, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 589

You deserved it 310

By dirtyfoot - 18/01/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 106

You deserved it 2 445

Pauschinator 22

Thursday 2 January 2014 8:59

What was your theory?

Fermion 20

Thursday 2 January 2014 9:05

Possibly that the dog was peeing on the rug and stealing socks at 2 in the morning?

Comments

JoJo91_fml 8

Thursday 2 January 2014 9:11

I mean if you have a dog and seen random pee spots in the middle of the night & socks go missing, it wouldn't be a theory I would def blame my dog, she does do that sometimes LOL who else would it be?

Zebediabolical 39

Thursday 2 January 2014 9:13

Plot Twist: Every other time it was a sibling.

Ambient25 24

Thursday 2 January 2014 9:17

Plot twist: Dog is actually Bolt.

that_band_nerd 22

Thursday 2 January 2014 17:42

Plot twist: it was really OP the whole time and the dog was framed.

Lilo4life 26

Thursday 2 January 2014 9:17

Great job Sherlock! Nice to know that's what you do with your night, awesome job catching the sock bandit.

michaelaxiv 4

Thursday 2 January 2014 9:28

maybe he's trying to tell you something

morella_xx 29

Thursday 2 January 2014 9:57

Something like, "take me outside to do my business more often, or I'll continue pissing on your rug."

StillUsesMyspace 22

Thursday 2 January 2014 9:53

I bet you were pissed

JMichael 25

Thursday 2 January 2014 10:18

He knows what you did last summer OP.

zandalee 19

Thursday 2 January 2014 11:44

I got one yesterday! I rescued her from a pound and I am totally in love with her already! Her name is Hazy and she's a Golden Retriever. My life feels complete. Happy new year FML community!!!