New year's day

New year, new you

By Moving On - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I found out my parents' New Year's resolution is to get me to move out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 708

You deserved it 9 652

Reliable

By Anonymous - 01/01/2025 15:00 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I loudly proclaimed my New Year’s resolution was to stop drinking. I made this declaration while holding a margarita in one hand and a beer in the other, in the middle of a rowdy New Year's Eve party. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44

You deserved it 317

All is quiet on New Year's Day

By EdwinOEF - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United Arab Emirates

Today, I flew to Dubai, en route to my new job in Afghanistan. Both of my bags were lost, my debit card was frozen in London, the next flight was cancelled, and I can't get a hotel room. I'm in the richest city in world with no money and no room. Happy New Year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 949

You deserved it 3 106

Happy new year

By Anonymous - 01/01/2025 00:00 - United States

Today, I hosted a New Year’s Eve party, but everyone left at 11:45 PM to go to another party because "it sounded more fun." I rang in the new year alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 378

You deserved it 90

Glummy new year

By Anonymous - 31/12/2024 22:00 - United States

Today, I spent all year avoiding COVID, colds, and flu. On December 30th, I caught the worst cold of my life. I’ll be ringing in the new year in bed, with tissues as my only company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 296

You deserved it 80

No way

By SingleSoon - 08/01/2024 16:00 - United States

Today, I moved my kids and myself into my parents' house. My soon to be ex-husband keeps calling me from different numbers, crying for me to take him back. The sorry bastard kissed his best friend instead of me at midnight on New Year's Day because I was attending to my son who was afraid of fireworks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 638

You deserved it 344

Tales from down under

By kiwinoz - 05/01/2024 01:00 - Australia - Sydney

Today, I'm still reeling from Xmas, as we got a tornado, power was out, and we got a heatwave warning with temperatures up to 37°C. Our power was off for 5 days. When it was restored, we got a flood warning, 150ml of rain, and no sign of it stopping anytime soon. Welcome to Christmas in Queensland. FML

I agree, your life sucks 572

You deserved it 110

What's YOUR resolution?

By Anonymous - 02/01/2024 14:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my dad made the New Year’s resolution that he’d try to get on better with my boyfriend. We’re less than 24 hours into the 1st of January and he’s already chased him around the garden trying to brain him with a meat tenderiser. Business as usual then. FML

I agree, your life sucks 487

You deserved it 156

Welcome to 2024

By Jollyshitshow - 02/01/2024 08:00 - United Kingdom - Daventry

Today, on the first day of 2024, I, a healthy 32 year-old, woke up to find I not only pissed the bed, but also shat myself in my sleep. I have no idea what I ate to cause this, nor how I didn't wake up when it was happening. This new year is literally off to a shit start. FML

I agree, your life sucks 580

You deserved it 145

What's your resolutions?

By why? - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - United States - Hackensack

Today, my dad has decided to that as a New Year's resolution, he's going to strive to wear pants less often. It's only been an hour and I can already tell it's going to be a long year. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 342

You deserved it 2 493

Covid 24

By Yudith - 01/01/2024 06:00 - Canada

Today, I am passing New Year's Eve alone with my cat because everybody around me decided to celebrate in close committee, had a family emergency, or caught the C plague. FML

I agree, your life sucks 367

You deserved it 114

Happy New 2024

By HurtsToBreathe - 01/01/2024 03:00 - United States - Fairfax

Today, it's New Year's Eve. I'd made plans to spend time with my fiancé's family the past week, then my fiancé and I were supposed to drive to my parents place today to celebrate NYE. Unfortunately, this week has been full of sickness. I spent all yesterday bedridden, and now my fiancé is too sick to get out of bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 96

Wanking in the New Year

By Lonesome - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Bossier City

Today, I realized just how lonely I am when I tried to time my ejaculation to happen right as the new year started. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 806

You deserved it 13 306

Happy New Year 2024!

By Anonymous - 31/12/2023 17:01 - United States

Today, I hate fucking existing. I could literally die right now and know one would ever even check on me for months. I’ve literally gone 4 months with no work, locked in my house the whole time, and never received a text, phone call, or a knock at the door. Not a single person thought about me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 311

Happy New Leg

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff

Today, instead of spending New Year's Eve having a romantic night out with my fiancé as we'd planned, I'm spending it sitting beside him in the hospital because his friends convinced him to go off-road ghost-riding in the dead of night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 563

You deserved it 4 514

Tricky social rules

By Acidcat - 31/12/2023 13:30 - India

Today, I asked my husband to spend New Year's with me watching a movie or maybe spending some time together. He said, "I can't upset my family by coming to celebrate New Year's with you." For context, we live separately because my Dad passed away and I can't leave my mum alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 534

You deserved it 211

Party Hard!

By Livewire - This FML is from back in 2012 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, it's New Year's Eve. My husband and I weren't invited to any parties, and we don't have a sitter to be able to go out by ourselves. Instead, I'm watching "Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2" on the Disney channel with our 5-year-old, and my husband has passed out on the couch from sheer boredom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 283

You deserved it 7 819

Kinda sus

By Forgotten - 27/01/2023 02:30

Today, I found out my boyfriend went to a “Lovers New Year's Eve” party. I didn’t go. He told me he had to “work” that night and couldn’t spend time with me. When I confronted him about it, he told me he “forgot” to tell me and it was “a last minute thing.” We’ve been dating for 3 years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 047

You deserved it 155

Boomer humor

By Vlad - 05/01/2023 12:00

Today, the guy who owes me $300 put a meme on Facebook that said, “In 2023, I’m gonna move on from the past, so if I owe you money, sorry but I’ve moved on.” FML

I agree, your life sucks 928

You deserved it 536

The fun never ends

By Yudith - 02/01/2023 03:00 - Canada

Today, I found a New Year's surprise: a cockroach in my kitchen drawers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 767

You deserved it 134

Out in the cold

By Mixta - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - France - Roubaix

Today, my best friend showed me his New Year's Eve photos. Girls everywhere, booze flowing all over the place and all my friends were there. They still haven't realised that they didn't invite me. We've been friends for seven years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 327

You deserved it 3 613

Happy New Year

By feelin a lil left out - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Jacksonville

Today, I found out what it means to be the only single person in my group of friends. They had a New Year's party and didn't invite me, because they didn't want me to "feel alone". FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 577

You deserved it 1 751

I hate this time of year

By MegaZeo - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - United States - Livermore

Today, I could not decide what was sadder: the fact that I have to work on New Year's Eve, or that fact that working on New Year's Eve is still the most exciting thing I've ever done for New Year's Eve. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 245

You deserved it 3 422

Late results

By ohbutno - 08/02/2022 18:01

Today, I found out that not only did I get the best blowjob of my life on New Year's Eve, I also got gonorrhea. FML

I agree, your life sucks 947

You deserved it 548

The neverending story

By Hope you blow your brains out, you pussy! - 03/02/2022 01:59

Today, I'm currently in a long-running argument with the police because on New Year's Eve, some dumbass threw firecrackers at my car, destroying one tire, the two taillights, and the front windshield. I've been reporting it the morning after since, and neither the police nor the insurance want to do anything. FML

I agree, your life sucks 968

You deserved it 94

New Year's Eve

By Anonymous - 01/01/2022 20:01

Today, after explicitly telling everyone we know that we were having a date night to ourselves, my wife’s sister turned up at our house because she “heard you were all by yourselves without the kids so I thought I’d come over to keep you company.” Never a fucking moment to ourselves. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 816

You deserved it 196

Happy New Year!

By anon - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - Australia - Glenfield

Today, my boyfriend was so drunk at a New Year's party that he approached me and asked me who I was. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 480

You deserved it 2 031

Drunken NYE antics

By jeffprobs - 01/01/2022 07:59 - United States

Today, my girlfriend got drunk and hit her head at a New Year's party. I took her to the emergency room just in case as she was bleeding, but she protested, yelled at the nurse, and got kicked out. Now she’s arguing with me about whether or not a head injury warrants an emergency room visit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 122

Take the L

By Anonymous - 01/01/2022 04:58 - United States - Chester

Today, it's both my 28th birthday and New Year’s Eve. Even though it's a Friday, tonight’s big plans are frozen pizza and going to bed early. I live with my parents and even they are going out tonight, leaving me to watch the dog. Happy Birthday, loser! FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 006

You deserved it 279

The Final Countdown

By Excalibur6669 - This FML is from back in 2014 but it's good stuff - United States - Parlin

Today, my sister is having a New Year's Eve party at our house. I'm not invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 391

You deserved it 3 232

Keywords

Cars Transportation Keys Coffee Health Am I overreacting? Miscellaneous Relatable I need your advice Relationship advice Love Sex Parents Bodyshaming Awkward New year's day Neighbours Kids Parenting Cops Education Weird School Holidays Family Dating Lonely Tinder Christmas Nice Guys

The Top

Today, my husband convinced me to donate all the sentimental items around our house, like the kids' old toys. Now I feel absolutely gutted, like we gave away tons of our family history, but everyone else is so happy that things are less cluttered, so I just play along. I feel so empty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 337

You deserved it 375

Today, I learned that my dad invested my entire college fund into some shady internet stock, despite my dire warnings about being careful. He told me not to worry as he'd done some research, and he guaranteed everything would be fine. Two hours later that same stock dropped almost 75%. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 064

You deserved it 430

The Top

Today, I brought home my new boyfriend, who happens to have an eyepatch. Despite repeatedly telling them not to, even threatening punishment, my daughters, ages 9 and 11, would not stop calling him "Cyclops." He’s mad at me for this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 057

You deserved it 367

Today, I'm a closeted trans man, and I feel terrible every time my family calls me "she" or "girl". Help me, I don't know how to come out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 950

You deserved it 771

Today, my mom made me go to church choir rehearsal with her so I could sing "the gay" out of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 613

You deserved it 2 968

Today, while in line at my local bakery, an old man passed wind in front of me. The smell was like nothing I've ever experienced before. I managed to withstand it, but the child behind me could not, and spewed orange vomit all over my back. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 768

You deserved it 3 435

Today, while I was on a date, I noticed my ex-boyfriend in the restaurant, and he looked sad. So I walked over to see him and jokingly said, "You look like your mom died or something!" She had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 796

You deserved it 52 201

Today, my girlfriend of 1 month came over and told me she wanted to talk to me. We sat down on the couch and she told me she was pregnant and that it was mine. I reminded her that we've never slept together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 72 666

You deserved it 4 984