Animals: Today, I finally got proof of my theory when the dog came downstairs...

By Anonymous - 02/01/2014 02:32 - United Kingdom - Chelmsford

Today, I finally got proof of my theory when the dog came downstairs at 2 in the morning, looked me dead in the eye, pissed on the rug and took my socks before disappearing back upstairs. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 567

You deserved it 4 289

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 11/04/2013 19:38 - United Kingdom - Bridgnorth

Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 527

You deserved it 8 485

By Anonymous - 23/04/2011 05:11 - United States

Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After I'd called her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 104

You deserved it 4 178

Smooth criminal

By Anonymous - 26/04/2023 10:00

Today, I found out that my cat has been secretly stealing my socks and hiding them under the couch, when I found a pile of 15 socks after I finally moved my furniture to vacuum the floor underneath. FML

I agree, your life sucks 640

You deserved it 181

Bad boy

By Really - 14/05/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, my roommate let his dog out. Not even five minutes later, she walked into my room and dropped a deuce. FML

I agree, your life sucks 726

You deserved it 89

By WellThatSucks - 23/05/2016 09:15 - United States

Today, I discovered my dog pooped in my bed, under the covers, by rolling over onto it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 190

You deserved it 1 396

By GotMyBitchBack - 05/09/2013 11:02 - United States - Zanesville

Today, I got home from work and found my dog missing. When I asked my neighbor if she saw what happened, I saw my dog sleeping on her couch. She tried to say it was hers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 522

You deserved it 3 047

Bad boy

By Anonymous - 05/10/2013 20:23 - United Kingdom - Manchester

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 088

You deserved it 8 765

By Anonymous - 20/12/2012 19:50 - Spain - Santa Cruz De Tenerife

Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 997

You deserved it 9 670

By heartattack - 03/02/2019 16:00

Today, after I moved into my new 1930's house, my elderly rescue dog raised her hackles and stared at the wall behind my bed for two full minutes. I thought she might have recognized something from her old job. She's a retired cadaver dog. I guess I'm never sleeping, again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 589

You deserved it 310

By dirtyfoot - 18/01/2009 21:50 - United States

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 106

You deserved it 2 445

Pauschinator 22

Thursday 2 January 2014 8:59

What was your theory?

Fermion 20

Thursday 2 January 2014 9:05

Possibly that the dog was peeing on the rug and stealing socks at 2 in the morning?

Comments

asylumlane 23

Thursday 2 January 2014 13:06

Sounds like it's time for someone to be crated at night.

JokersHQ 21

Thursday 2 January 2014 13:42

Some dogs are spiteful, mine is too, but hey they're family right? Gotta love 'em!

Muttley9 13

Thursday 2 January 2014 15:57

1. Beat dog; 2. Dog to shelter. 3. You to obedience school :)

worldclassrager 39

Thursday 2 January 2014 18:16

Theory of what? Unless you are drunk...or again I don't follow....

viau 13

Thursday 2 January 2014 20:49

when he get downstairs tommorow go to his bed and take a dump in it, looking at him in the eyes.

SystemofaBlink41 27

Thursday 2 January 2014 22:12

That socks, OPee!

outoftown 26

Thursday 2 January 2014 22:13

33 -Congratulations, and Happy New Year! Now, hide you socks.

DanielRamirez 10

Friday 3 January 2014 3:41

The dog was in his mind probably thinking " look at me in the eyes and ask me if i give a crap "

rawlings123 17

Friday 3 January 2014 3:54

Seems like you've got a Wilfred on your hands

stewie71 3

Friday 3 January 2014 9:53

Wtf is your theory?

pfft123 14

Friday 3 January 2014 15:12

That is exactly what I was wondering!

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The Top

Today, my ex posted a rant on Facebook about how much he hates this time of year. He ended it with "and now the bitch broke up with me two days before Christmas." He conveniently left out the part where "the bitch" caught him having sex with another woman last night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 579

You deserved it 83

Today, it's the first day that my overbearing and too-controlling parents are gone on a 2-week-long vacation, trusting me enough to take care of the house while they're gone. So far, I've broken a plate (it was in the microwave less than a minute before it exploded) and the power's gone out. Bad omens? FML

I agree, your life sucks 676

You deserved it 170

The Top

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 696

You deserved it 18 363

Today, I got beat up at the bar. Why? I politely rejected a guy's sexual advances, so he turned to physical intimidation. I'm a soft-spoken 5'6 straight male. I've been ghosted by every woman I've talked to in the past two years. The only attention I've gotten is from men who can't take no for an answer. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 095

You deserved it 120

Today, a lady who works for my husband confided in me that they've been sleeping with each other and now she's pregnant. She didn't know I was his wife. FML

I agree, your life sucks 63 731

You deserved it 3 930

Today, my girlfriend of 3 months broke up with me via text and said she was keeping the cat. I've had the cat since for seven years since she was a kitten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 368

You deserved it 233

Today, I finished and turned in the last of the 17 major projects for the company I work for. As I was walking out of my boss's office, I heard her ask her assistant, "She finished everything we didn't want to do, can we fire her now?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 932

You deserved it 3 126

Today, I got a paper cut while opening my box of Band-Aids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 943

You deserved it 9 372

Same thing different taste

Smooth criminal

Bad boy

Bad boy

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