Intimacy: Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over... - FML

By UrbanCass - 25/06/2009 23:44 - United States

Spicy

Today, I finally had sex with a girl I've been dating for over a month. Before we got started she told me not to worry about the birth control because she could handle that. So after we finished I asked her what kind of birth control she used. She said she meditated. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 461

You deserved it 76 858

New Year, New Blunders
Celebrate the New Year with stories of resolutions broken in less than 24 hours and memorable New Year's Eves... for all the wrong reasons! More…

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Same thing different taste

Some people are so... creative.

By Anonymous - 17/02/2018 06:00

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 415

You deserved it 1 588

By Anonymous - 16/09/2012 15:32 - United States - Acton

Spicy

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 809

You deserved it 59 564

By Anonymous - 12/01/2014 00:03 - United States - Philadelphia

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend told me that she is pregnant. I asked how it could be possible, since she's on birth control. She said she didn't know her antibiotics would interfere with it. She's a pharmacist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 144

You deserved it 8 887

Comeback

By sadguy - 18/02/2009 22:07 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with a girl I really like for the first time. After a while I told her I was about to come. Her response, "Lucky you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 119

You deserved it 23 262

By prayforme - 11/11/2009 01:52 - United States

Spicy

Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 052

You deserved it 63 229

I don't understand!

By Anonymous - 28/11/2019 18:00 - Canada

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 018

You deserved it 639

The best method!

By Anonymous - 04/01/2020 18:00

Spicy

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 980

You deserved it 954

Nice try, chief

By Anonymous - 04/04/2011 01:46 - United States

Spicy

Today, while discussing having sex for the first time with my boyfriend, I asked what method of birth control we should use. He replied, "Anal." FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 978

You deserved it 15 187

By wtfjusthappened - 31/01/2014 15:29 - United States - Redmond

Spicy

Today, I went down on the girl of my dreams. While I was down there, I started to put on a condom. As I came back up to start having sex, she told me she couldn't cheat on her boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 66 834

You deserved it 13 051

By what the fuck - 07/06/2013 21:20 - United Kingdom - Northolt

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to get intimate for the first time. He said he didn't want to use a condom, and that I should just give him one of my birth control pills instead, "so we can still be just as safe". What the hell? FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 821

You deserved it 9 992

Next

Top comments

starflake 3

Friday 26 June 2009 10:23

Lol, YDI. Take some responsibility for yourself you idiot.

Sawadee 0

Friday 26 June 2009 10:16

No control is the best control.............. You can secretly mixed the plan b into her food or drink

Comments

prettygurl89 16

Saturday 16 January 2016 14:40

You're an idiot

Keywords

Animals Gross Poopoo peepee Cats Smells Love Awkward Embarrassing Miscellaneous Health Painful First Dates Christmas Work Social Media Grieving Music Anniversary Boredom Ironic Intimacy Abuse Alcohol AITA Transportation Am I overreacting? Drunk Parents Gun control Kids

The Top

Today, I’ve worked out that my neighbour is cheating. Her husband leaves at 7, another guy arrives at 9, vigorous sex noises last for an hour, then the guy leaves. It’s come to this has it, I’m so bored since losing my job that I’ve become a nosy neighbour lady. Why won’t anyone hire me? FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 167

You deserved it 244

Today, I went out clubbing with a few friends. A cute guy pointed at me from the bar and motioned for me to come over. I was excited and did just that. Turns out he just wanted to ask me if I'd thought about seeing a doctor for my jaundice. No, I just overdid my spray tan. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 386

You deserved it 33 128

The Top

Today, after a few days of getting what seemed like an odd, scattered rash every time I showered, I finally figured out the problem. It turns out I wasn't just allergic to all the different soap I tried. Apparently a family of very angry spiders have decided to make my loofah their new home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 265

You deserved it 1 884

Today, I decided to do a little shopping at Victoria's Secret. The woman at the register smiled and asked, "Got a special someone to impress?" I told her that my boyfriend of three years was in town for New Year's and we haven't seen each other in months. Then I went home to my four cats. FML

I agree, your life sucks 480

You deserved it 122

Today, and for the past few weeks, I've been hyper-aware of my heartbeat, and super paranoid that it’s just going to randomly stop beating at any time. This is a constant state for me, and it isn’t going away no matter what I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 862

You deserved it 247

Today, I woke up next to my boss naked. We are both women and she is married. Work should be interesting tomorrow. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 845

You deserved it 48 888

Today, my dog chewed up my $120 dildo. Goodbye, sex life. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 501

You deserved it 5 520

Today, I asked my dad if he'd like to go fishing together, but he said he was busy with errands. Later, in a casual conversation with my friend, she opened up her phone to show me pictures of her fishing with my dad. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 533

You deserved it 349