Never just do anything someone asks just because you're into them.

If he's talking about a future on the first date it's a big red flag as well.

That makes the whole thing even worse. Sorry, OP. He's not worthy of your admiration if he's the kind of guy who leads a woman on just for one night of sex. Sounds like he also got off on hurting you with the way he acted after. Definitely something seriously wrong with that guy. I know it's hard to think of it this way, but consider yourself lucky he chose not to toy with you any longer and the whole affair didn't go any further. And guys, I'm pretty sure she's figured that out by now. Don't act like you've never done something unwise because you liked someone more than they deserved. It happens to the best of us.

Just wondering, are y'all still in middle school?

96 I think this situation would describe elementary much better

99 really i can see it being that she is a freshman in high school and the guy maybe a year or two older. that being said, OP, follow your heart but don't let it blind you. I'm going to assume there were many little signs that he really wasn't interested in a relationship, biggest would have to be that he was talking about the future.

@#99 What elementary school did you go to where the kids were going out on dates and ******* each other?!!?

#102 To be fair, i started "dating" in elementary school, but it got me pretty much bullied for it because i was always with the girls.

Being vulnerable and "into him" isn't an excuse for something like this. You are making it sound like it was not mutual and that you just participated because you hoped it would better your chances for a relationship. I am all for consensual, one-night-stand sex, but you should really be more careful in a situation like this if you don't want to get hurt.

#95 The worst thing I've done for "love" was give money, so i don't think it's fair to say everyone has done something unwise. It's my policy of not having sex with someone till at least a year of us in a relationship and i have various other rules for myself and im pretty good at reading people. although I've been out of the dating game for a long time because I've been with the same girl for 8.5yrs

Not your fault .. Falling for him... You will get over him soon OP

#104 did you actually read OP's follow up? She believed the guy when he said he wanted a future/relationship with her. Hence she had sex with him. She wasn't doing it to 'secure' a relationship, she believed the relationship was already real. "he had been talking about a future for us and I believed him and I was excited thinking there would be more than just one night between us" How did you miss that????

Ok, i take back what i said. He's a total douchebag. From the way the fml was worded i thought he asked for sex only from the start. I apologize, theres no way you could have known if he said he wanted something more. If he wanted a one night stand he should've stated it from the start.

#100 - Imagining it that way makes the follow-up sound cute. You know, except for the part where he lied to her and used her for her body...which is kind of the most important part.

he's a major douche! instead of lying to her and asking for nudes after hes just hurt her feelings,he should've just been honest from the start ,and said he wanted a one night stand .not tell op he wants a future with her, and make her believe they were going to have a relationship when they werent. yes OP might of been gullible , but hopefully she learns from this, so she wont get hurt next time. OP next time try not to rush into it even if you believe they are telling you the truth , wait to make sure its something youre not going to regret.

you poor thing, we've all been there. :/

#111 yea he did lie but no one is perfect at lying, there is always clues and what not. Most people become so in "love" that they become blind in a sense and thats what i was getting at, you should never let your heart blind you, otherwise you will miss the small hints.

no0ne0890, You're coming off as very arrogant. You think you haven't been hurt because you're too smart. The truth is you've just been lucky. There is literally nothing you can do to protect yourself from this sort of thing. People have been in wonderful relationships for years before they got cheated on, defrauded, abandoned, etc... You just never know. You can either never let anyone get close to you, or take a risk now and then. You got lucky. OP didn't, and others, didn't. That's the only difference.

Men don't generally respect women who give it up on the first date.

128: So... if a guy goes on a first date with a woman and they have sex, he will no longer respect that woman because she had sex on the first date? Even though he has literally just done the exact same thing? That sounds a tad hypocritical.

gracehi i have been cheated on, everyone will most likely be cheated on at one point or another but i knew about it because of the hints she was giving off, i just needed the proof. It hurt really bad when i finally did get the proof but i ended it by sitting her down and showing it to her and stuff and talking about it to learn of the reasons of when we started going in different paths but sometimes hoes will just be hoes, and guys can be hoes too, and its safer to keep that in mind at the same time not allowing it to shallow you, balance is the key of life and knowing when and where to risk it.

oh honey that's so sad :( and it's okay to believe ppl. my hubby was talking out our future on our first date....nearly scared me away. but now we've been married two years have a wonderful boy and prego with baby #2 :) love is trusting. hang in there!

Why? Me and my husband have been together for 7 years now but we knew each other for a month before we started dating and our first date we talked about where we were heading in life. We have a 6yo son and our daughter is due in October. It's not always a red flag.

Pretending to be interested in a future beyond sex is the strategy of every guy, 12 and older, since the dawn of time. Be aware of that in the future. The key is to hold out. See how long he's planning to stick around before just doing anything he asks, and only then reward his patience. In my experience, most girls and women who are perceived to be promiscuous could also be described as vulnerable, gullible, and/or misguided.

I'm sad that happen but this man gave clear signs of this, talking about the future of your "relationship" on the first date says alot. Shouldn't let your heart lead you every time sometimes it's good to let your brain take the wheel so you won't make a mistake or In this case be a one night stand girl besides who has sex on the first date? I mean.....?

"Reward his patience"? Sex is not a reward for good behavior...and if sex is all the guy wants, then he's not going to stick around with one person he's not interested in romantically just to have it. As for what you said about girls and women who are perceived to be promiscuous, while that may be true, how many times can they keep doing the same thing before they start to see that giving it up so quickly isn't working? Being labeled as promiscuous, or at least what most people would consider so, doesn't happen after being with only one or two guys. It has to keep happening, and getting out there for people to know of. Which brings me to another thing that bugs me about this post. I understand that people get excited about things and want to share good news with their friends, but hook-ups/sexual contact should NOT be included. OP said that the guy she was with was just her crush, nothing more. They may not have had any previous relationship (friendship or otherwise) before they had sex, which might explain why he wouldn't want her telling people about it. Even if they had been getting to know each other beforehand, whatever the reason was for him not wanting people to know about them hooking up was his business, and shouldn't have been put out there.

well op commented earlier and said they were actually on a date , and he was telling her ;he wanted a future/relationship with her . so i can see why op thought she wasnt going to be a booty call , its not her fault that the jerk lied to her.

no, your right. Real love does indeed take time to grow but at the same time one night stands are not particularly wrong either, however i do believe that if your looking for a real deep love, taking it slow is the best option because you can find out whether they just want sex and stuff. Also a persons personality can change because usually some people put up a front a fake them if you will on the first couple of dates. whether that is laughing at bad jokes or other things.

She gave it up on the first date? I mean your entitled to what you like but still ? you helped yourself be a booty call. Just cause you like someone doesn't mean you should do what ever they ask that's just desperate