Animals: Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very...

By thenotsomanlyman - 07/03/2011 16:17 - United States

Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 692

You deserved it 41 684

The rhythm of the fight
Discover all the best anecdotes from the month of January, with or without snow, with or without you. More…

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Same thing different taste

By eightleggedtictac - 08/06/2014 15:10 - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 784

You deserved it 6 855

Goodbye Rémy…

By Tough guy - 04/09/2021 23:00

Today, I was laying in bed when my sister came running in, scared. I took my bat and went into the kitchen where the suspicious noise was coming from. It was a rat, right in the middle of the floor. I jumped on the counter and shrieked, just as my girlfriend walked in, who then actually dealt with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 832

By rb - 01/05/2011 06:02 - United States

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 774

You deserved it 3 584

By yesikilledit - 20/11/2018 13:30

Today, I woke up and saw a piece of black fuzz on my shirt. I tried to pick it off but it crawled into my hand and stabbed my skin with its sharp legs. I screamed like a little girl because I had a centipede on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 355

You deserved it 337

By Hannah - 04/03/2012 20:46 - United States

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 995

You deserved it 31 760

You big fanny

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 17:57 - Germany - Hagen

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 434

You deserved it 31 280

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 464

Anger management issues, sir?

By Anonymous - 25/08/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I yelled at my girlfriend because I thought she'd thrown away an important form I needed to fill out. I found it a few minutes later, just stuck to the back of another piece of paper. After apologizing for getting mad, all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 1 097

Irrational fears

By emelie000 - 29/07/2022 14:00

Today, my daughter, who can pick up spiders and even snakes without flinching, screamed at the top of her lungs because she saw a mouse. Um, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 26/09/2013 16:19 - United States - East Hampton

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 761

You deserved it 3 610

mike3775 35

Monday 7 March 2011 18:57

Be glad you have a caring girlfriend

a_girl_i_know 0

Monday 7 March 2011 18:58

I am embarrassed for your gf

Comments

avatar0810 15

Tuesday 8 March 2011 0:42

I'd do the same thing I freaking hate bugs

jewels1877 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 0:46

Big man is afraid of puny centipede and his little friends.

MsSoulReaper 27

Tuesday 8 March 2011 0:50

You should learn not to be such a scared little kid. k? Then this will never happen again.

ArthursLifeSucks 2

Tuesday 8 March 2011 1:13

Texas Redheaded Stepchild?

autumn88_fml_fml 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 1:38

LOL OP

besosforme 26

Tuesday 8 March 2011 1:58

Or, 6, one of those black and orange centipedes found in Hawaii. Have you seen those? Those suckers are mean! They can get up to 19 cm or roughly 7.5 inches and their sting hurts for days... Freaking out over THAT I could understand. My sister fell asleep on the couch and woke up to one crawling toward her hand, on the pillow. She jumped about 3 feet in the air, knocking over the table and we all came running. Ick. No thanks. Funny though, OP, that your girlfriend just takes your high-pitched screaming into stride. Maybe you should tone it down a little, mmm?