Animals: Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very...

By thenotsomanlyman - 07/03/2011 16:17 - United States

Today, I flipped out when I saw a centipede. I screamed, very loudly and in a very high voice. My girlfriend came into the room, stomped on it, picked it up and threw it in the trashcan. I apologized to her for the scene and all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 692

You deserved it 41 684

Back to school
Is that it, have we really enjoyed the holidays? It's time to find the best back-to-school struggles. More…

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Same thing different taste

By eightleggedtictac - 08/06/2014 15:10 - United States - Worcester

Today, I woke up to my boyfriend shrieking at the top of his lungs. I ran into the dining room where he was, to find him standing on the table screaming "Kill it!" while pointing at an unmoving spider the size of a Tic Tac on the wall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 48 784

You deserved it 6 855

Goodbye Rémy…

By Tough guy - 04/09/2021 23:00

Today, I was laying in bed when my sister came running in, scared. I took my bat and went into the kitchen where the suspicious noise was coming from. It was a rat, right in the middle of the floor. I jumped on the counter and shrieked, just as my girlfriend walked in, who then actually dealt with it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 395

You deserved it 832

By rb - 01/05/2011 06:02 - United States

Today, I washed my hands and reached for the towel but felt something sticky. It was a house centipede. It exploded. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 774

You deserved it 3 584

By yesikilledit - 20/11/2018 13:30

Today, I woke up and saw a piece of black fuzz on my shirt. I tried to pick it off but it crawled into my hand and stabbed my skin with its sharp legs. I screamed like a little girl because I had a centipede on me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 355

You deserved it 337

By Hannah - 04/03/2012 20:46 - United States

Today, I faced down the Godzilla of all spiders. I smashed the goddamned holy shit out of it. Trying to impress my cute new roommate, I scooped up the remains and showed him. It was his pet tarantula. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 995

You deserved it 31 760

You big fanny

By Anonymous - 30/09/2012 17:57 - Germany - Hagen

Today, I was babysitting a six year old girl, when I saw a huge spider on the wall. I screamed and told her to stay back. Instead, she walked up to the spider, squished it, and told me to stop being such a baby. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 434

You deserved it 31 280

Adapt, improvise, overcome

By Arthur B. - 24/09/2019 12:01

Today, I saw a spider in my kitchen. Freaked, but trying to be humane, I held out a piece of paper so it would climb on, and I would then put it outside. However, it jumped out of nowhere and landed on my face. My reaction was to whack at where the spider was - my face. I stumbled around, disoriented; the spider got away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 352

You deserved it 464

Anger management issues, sir?

By Anonymous - 25/08/2024 07:00 - United States

Today, I yelled at my girlfriend because I thought she'd thrown away an important form I needed to fill out. I found it a few minutes later, just stuck to the back of another piece of paper. After apologizing for getting mad, all she said was, "I'm used to it." FML

I agree, your life sucks 65

You deserved it 1 097

Irrational fears

By emelie000 - 29/07/2022 14:00

Today, my daughter, who can pick up spiders and even snakes without flinching, screamed at the top of her lungs because she saw a mouse. Um, what? FML

I agree, your life sucks 651

You deserved it 201

By Anonymous - 26/09/2013 16:19 - United States - East Hampton

Today, I watched in horror as my dad picked up a dead centipede, placed it on his tongue, and then swallowed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 761

You deserved it 3 610

mike3775 35

Monday 7 March 2011 18:57

Be glad you have a caring girlfriend

a_girl_i_know 0

Monday 7 March 2011 18:58

I am embarrassed for your gf

Comments

nault32 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 2:49

I am the exact same way with spiders lol

FFYL334 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 3:07

did she squash it beneath her toes?

sanchogrim 18

Tuesday 8 March 2011 3:24

cough! cough! *Justin beiber haircut ...cough! omg I need some medicine

lolol_BKYCHO 3

Tuesday 8 March 2011 4:11

Centipedes, I understand. Especially the Dominican kind. But I do think spiders are cool.

supahnazi 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 4:16

im deadly afraid of spidies

Flipflops4ever 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 4:28

North American centipedes r wimpy, now tropical or South American centipedes...now those r scary, they can be nearly a foot long, jet black in color so u can't see them in the dark, & really creepy.

dannyboydx 0

Wednesday 9 March 2011 3:35

the only centipedes that reach a length of a foot are burgundy in color with yellow legs that fade into a white color. the only jet black centipedes are scolopendra subspinipes species, and only some of them are jet black. your information is false.

ubetrwatchBN 5

Tuesday 8 March 2011 4:57

64 - I've heard that is an f'ed up movie...I'm gonna go rent it now. lol

gkflower 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 5:00

considering your login name,this fml doesnt surprise me :P

Dez31396 0

Tuesday 8 March 2011 5:01

haha

AntoshaChekhonte 6

Tuesday 8 March 2011 5:47

If you ever meet Dr. Josef Heiter, you should probably scream and run away. I would. Although centipedes in general freak me out. I'm not scared of them. They just really freak me out.