Valentine's slay, Living together and Health: Today, I forgot to grab toilet paper on the way home from work....

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By no tp - 15/02/2012 01:26 - United States

Today, I forgot to grab toilet paper on the way home from work. Since I don't have a car and all of my friends have plans for Valentine's Day I'm now down to wiping with cotton balls. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 802

You deserved it 8 335

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Same thing different taste

Shit for brains

By Anonymous - 31/10/2023 15:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, in desperate need of a shit, I quickly ran into a shop to buy toilet paper. I rushed home and unleashed, only to realise I'd bought paper towels. Without options, I had to wipe my ass with them and consequently blocked the toilet. I found rolls of toilet paper while looking for the plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 187

You deserved it 665

By phukt - 19/05/2010 18:42 - United States

Today, after racing home with a jumbo package of toilet paper, I ran into my house to go to the bathroom. I then realized I'd left the toilet paper in the car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 180

You deserved it 30 573

We've all done it

By Anonymous - 25/02/2023 04:00

Today, I was in the bathroom at the mall and the toilet paper had ran out. I had to use the socks I'd just bought. FML

I agree, your life sucks 819

You deserved it 225

Covid nostalgia

By Covid 2: Electric Boogaloo - 25/11/2024 15:00 - United States

Today, I have to use toilet paper as a substitute for Kleenex, because I have a nasty cold and ran out. We're also snowed in where I live, so I currently can't go to the store to get some more. I think I now understand why people were hoarding this stuff. FML

I agree, your life sucks 321

You deserved it 159

By Anonymous - 22/04/2013 18:33 - United States

Today, I was hanging out with some friends, and I had to take a dump. After I was done, I realized there was no more toilet paper, so I asked my friends to get me some. They threw in duct tape, sandpaper, and saran wrap, and told me to make a decision. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 931

You deserved it 8 680

By CallmeEddie - 14/11/2013 16:44 - United States - Joliet

Today, while I was in a bathroom stall, the guy next to me asked me for toilet paper. It was then that I realized I didn't have any either. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 903

You deserved it 4 911

Who wants to be a millionaire?

By Not telling you in a million years - 03/03/2025 03:00 - Canada

Today, I had just sat down and taken a dump in a public restroom when I realized there was no toilet paper. I tried to discreetly call for help, but no one heard me. My only option was to text a friend and have them bring me some. The worst part? My friend ended up texting me, "You called for backup?" as I waited in humiliation. FML

I agree, your life sucks 195

You deserved it 275

By Anonymous - 19/01/2011 05:45 - United States

Today, I was going to the bathroom at my boyfriend's house. I had awful diarrhea and was almost done, when I noticed a spider on the ground. Being terrified, I took a giant ball of toilet paper to kill it. I realized then that I had no toilet paper left to use. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 717

You deserved it 35 142

By Anonymous - 15/06/2015 02:54 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I was drying myself with a towel after a shower when I noticed a bad smell. After running out of toilet paper last night, one of my friends decided to use my clean towel to wipe herself instead. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 693

You deserved it 2 411

Always check before

By Anonymous - 19/05/2017 14:00

Today, the stall I was using didn't have any toilet paper in it. Being the immature idiot I am, I was too embarrassed to ask for someone to grab me some. So I waited 45 minutes for the bathroom to be empty and crept into the next stall, only to find it was also out of toilet paper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 705

You deserved it 954

LaColombianita 26

Wednesday 15 February 2012 9:02

You do what you gotta do to keep your ass clean.

abbyhoneywaffles 11

Wednesday 15 February 2012 9:05

That would be awful. The fluff comes off of those things so easily.. That shit must be all up in your areas.

Comments

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Wednesday 15 February 2012 15:58

Why didn't you walk to the nearest gas station or overpriced convenient store? Just sayin...

lumoloxi 0

Wednesday 15 February 2012 16:21

Gosh ur dumb! There are so many better ways to wipe down without tissue and you can't really be that lazy and you don't poo that many times a day do get off ur lazy ass and go to the shops and also get a car ok cuz really seems like u need one

cherryllollo 7

Wednesday 15 February 2012 16:41

ydi. you knew u were running low. im sure theres a convience mart within walking distance of you... or bust out a bike. lazy bum

blueknight1st 26

Wednesday 15 February 2012 16:44

Unless you are a cripple there is no reason you couldn't have walked to the store and bought some toilet paper.

liftedyoda 5

Wednesday 15 February 2012 16:51

You could have used paper towel or a napkin they wont leave little peaces behind

Burst_Knuckles 0

Wednesday 15 February 2012 17:02

I don't get why it has to be toilet paper? Why can't you wash your ass? It saves toilet paper and it cleans your ass more than toilet paper ever could.

weezz3675 0

Wednesday 15 February 2012 17:04

Why didn't you just jump in the shower

vanaathiel 13

Wednesday 15 February 2012 17:15

Ever heard of walking or taking public transit? You just sound lazy to me.

tinysocks 11

Wednesday 15 February 2012 17:47

Walk? Bus?

bloodthorn 4

Wednesday 15 February 2012 18:08

So, your solution is to post.... on fml..? YDI, in the time you posted about wiping your ass with cotton balls you could have gone to the store, grabbed some TP, and gotten back.