Intimacy: Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend...

By Dickhead - 25/11/2011 15:02 - Lebanon

Today, I found a condom on my bed with a note written by my girlfriend that said, "Since you started acting like a dick, you might as well dress like one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 539

You deserved it 62 302

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Same thing different taste

Carrier pigeon

By Anonymous - 10/03/2022 12:00

Today, I sent my girlfriend a nice "Good morning" text after I woke up. Then I found a paper note stuck to my bedroom door, in which she broke up with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 001

You deserved it 81

By anonymous - 08/01/2015 19:10 - United States - Noblesville

Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 110

You deserved it 3 347

Busted

By Stacy - 21/03/2009 00:43 - United States

Today, I went into my older brother's room to get a condom. This happened the other day too when my boyfriend forgot one. So I went in and there was a note that said, "Stop using my condoms. And your boyfriend sounds like a girl when he climaxes." FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 791

You deserved it 121 739

By Anonymous - 19/06/2011 05:01 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by putting a Post-it note on my locker that said, "Consider yourself dumped." FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 818

You deserved it 4 673

Noise annoys

By Anonymous - 10/08/2012 05:29 - Europe

Today, after my boyfriend and I had gotten frisky last night, I found a note on the front door of my building that read, "Dear girl in apartment 3D, from now on please close the blinds all the way or lose 30 pounds. Either would be acceptable." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 735

You deserved it 18 268

By Andrew - 23/10/2012 19:12 - United States

Today, my girlfriend and I were getting intimate, and I gave her a condom to put on me. She tried to open it with her teeth, but ripped it. That was my only condom. I'm now sitting here watching a soap opera with a boner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 481

You deserved it 11 456

By useyourownbed - 18/09/2012 20:06 - United States - Byron

Today, my sister walked into my room, saying her boyfriend "forgot something." She then reached under my bed and pulled out a pair of boxers and a condom wrapper. Her response to my disgust was, "My bed was dirty." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 896

You deserved it 2 493

Considerate

By BadLuckLad - 22/10/2014 22:38 - United Kingdom - Portsmouth

Today, I walked in on my girlfriend cheating on me. The guy turned around and said, "Sorry, I borrowed your condoms." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 370

You deserved it 3 856

By Anonymous - 31/07/2012 03:36 - United States - Chicago

Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 446

You deserved it 42 535

Gettin' some

By Username - 01/05/2011 08:20 - United States

Today, I grabbed my t-shirt off the floor beside the bed and got up to walk my boyfriend's dog. After several trips around the block, and plenty of strange looks, I got back upstairs and saw the used condom stuck to my sleeve from the night before. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 503

You deserved it 46 398

indistructo 3

Friday 25 November 2011 18:59

you just got buuuuuuuuurrrrned! lol best joke ever

Glitterhinoceros 14

Friday 25 November 2011 19:02

It'd be really cool if you could fit your whole body into that be completely casual while talking to your girlfriend

Comments

Igor_g5 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 7:22

Maybe you should stop acting like a dick.

cupcakecutiee95 1

Saturday 26 November 2011 8:22

That's awesome :D

ILpalmtree 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 9:42

Someone needs to get laid..

linkinpark98 23

Saturday 26 November 2011 11:27

Your girlfriend kicks ass! :) You also shouldn't have been acting like a dick either. Douche bag.

jmuld 3

Saturday 26 November 2011 12:34

Why does the majority of you all thinks he deserves it? You don't even know if she's right.

mintypoison 22

Saturday 26 November 2011 12:48

Oh man do I wanna hear the rest of this story! You must've derseved it though. -shrugs-

wriptidez 0

Saturday 26 November 2011 13:25

put cow milk in it

annafii 7

Saturday 26 November 2011 18:06

That's...that's ******' awesome xD

BloodyMary666 24

Saturday 26 November 2011 20:30

Now, that´s creative! xD

LalaynaB 0

Sunday 27 November 2011 2:21

Atta be ! hahha that's awesome your girlfriend is hilarious !

Keywords

Management Work Awkward Embarrassing Love First Dates Miscellaneous Poopoo peepee Health Relatable Students Confused Relationship advice Lonely Break-ups Family Cute My ex Sex Intimacy Housework LGBTQIA+ Parents Smoking Kids Abuse Birthday Technology Geek Cars

The Top

Today, I slipped out my bedroom window at night in an attempt to rebel against my parents. Then I realized that I have no friends and nowhere to go, so I tried to climb back in. I fell, broke my ankle, and laid in the dirt until my parents found me in the morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 133

You deserved it 585

Today, I was telling my mom my boyfriend started an argument because I’ve not been feeling well, so I haven’t cooked or wanted sex for a week or so. My dad piped up that if mom used such a lame excuse to avoid blowjobs and cooking, he’d damn we’ll start an argument too. Mom agreed with him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 424

You deserved it 279

The Top

Today, I discovered that airbags aren't nearly as comfy as they look. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 959

You deserved it 4 582

Today, I complimented my crush. No, I didn't call her beautiful or sexy, though those definitely apply. No, instead, I called her scrumptious. I can't even begin to explain. FML

I agree, your life sucks 761

You deserved it 290

Today, my wife took me to Taco Bell for the first time. I said, "Isn't this where all those FMLs happen to people?" She said, "You'll be fine." I am writing this from the toilet. I am not fine. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 844

You deserved it 440

Today, as I was instructing our new third grade students about how our martial arts classes are safer than people think, someone broke their leg right in front of their innocent faces. They saw the bone sticking out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 384

You deserved it 1 072

Today, while sitting an at home university exam, I started getting period cramps. I decided to use a heat patch to help. I left it on for the allotted time, but when I took it off, it peeled my skin off and burnt the surrounding skin. I'm now burnt AND still experiencing cramps. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 771

You deserved it 214

Today, I overheard my mom complaining to her friends about her uncontrollable queefing problem. Excuse me while I find a therapist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 228

You deserved it 2 331