Miscellaneous: Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt... - FML

By Anonymous - 07/02/2014 18:51 - Mayotte - Mamoudzou

Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 289

You deserved it 3 664

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Same thing different taste

By Foufinator - 04/10/2009 19:33 - France

Today, I ordered a chicken sandwich. I was starving and it was the fastest thing to order. Half way through it, I found something which does not belong, and removed it. It was half a cockroach, and I don't know where the other half is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 136

You deserved it 3 562

By no name - 22/02/2011 12:25

Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 966

You deserved it 4 787

Added protein

By Anonymous - 10/02/2021 00:30

Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 951

You deserved it 193

Sorry, little dude

By dire-rear - 16/01/2010 20:19 - Singapore

Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 102

You deserved it 3 659

By wellesleybanana - 17/04/2009 18:43 - United States

Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML

I agree, your life sucks 97 240

You deserved it 4 686

By jaqlove - 02/07/2016 20:28 - United States - Clementon

Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 031

You deserved it 2 644

Tasty

By Anonymous - 16/08/2012 14:30 - United States

Today, I ordered ramen to go. I looked at my order and discovered a cockroach. Disgusted, I showed it to them, and they apologized by "replacing" it for free. Later on, while I was enjoying the delicious food, I once again discovered a cockroach buried under all the noodles. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 724

You deserved it 6 839

By Anonymous - 23/10/2011 11:45 - United States

Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML

I agree, your life sucks 58 284

You deserved it 4 600

By cockroach - 27/09/2009 15:52 - United States

Today, I saw a cockroach on the ceiling. Immediately I got a stick to smack it down. When I hit it, it fell and landed in my mouth. Karma much? FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 331

You deserved it 16 755

Hi guys

By unemployed - 11/07/2016 19:09 - United States - Modesto

Today, I walked out the back door of my place of employment and looked down to see a huge cockroach. This is quite a normal occurrence, so I thought nothing of it until I realized it was struggling to drag the corpse of one of its friends into the building. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 262

You deserved it 821

Next

Top comments

Pleonasm 35

Saturday 8 February 2014 1:18

Did it come with a side order of Chicken Flied Lice, too? That would bug me.

worldclassrager 39

Saturday 8 February 2014 1:17

Oh good lord...that's disgusting... Hope you can get a refund....

Comments

mominzed 19

Saturday 8 February 2014 11:25

That is why wholesome, home-prepared food is the best!

jadeystram 3

Saturday 8 February 2014 11:38

It's seriously not that hard to realize that takeaways is the same as takeout. Away from the store or out of the store same shit guys. Why is everyone (Americans) so confused. It's like we're speaking a whole different language or something looking at the comments.

Soliloquy93 14

Saturday 8 February 2014 11:48

I can't think of a worse way to find a cockroach... my deepest sympathies.

SeahawksnationxD 7

Saturday 8 February 2014 20:42

YDI. You should have noticed it was there....

beautiful_hope 16

Sunday 9 February 2014 1:28

That is the most disgusting thing I've ever read. Honest to God. I'd probably go rinse my mouth out with acid & then shoot myself. Roaches are the most disgusting thing on this planet. I'd literally rather eat shit.

JustStella 28

Sunday 9 February 2014 9:50

Hmmm, interesting. In this game of "Would You Rather", I'd pick the roach in a heartbeat.

underguarded 20

Sunday 9 February 2014 6:30

Well, I was eating..

LuapMere 11

Sunday 9 February 2014 22:45

How'd it taste?

suewtsn 3

Tuesday 11 February 2014 3:53

I would never eat again.

SoreJohnson 4

Tuesday 11 February 2014 4:27

Were you the one who got shot at by the owner of the Chinese restaurant for the cockroach egg roll?

savlk 1

Thursday 13 February 2014 15:47

One time my mom bit into a burrito and got a mouth full of not only roach, but it's eggs as well.

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Food Toxic Miscellaneous Family Gross Valentine's Day Love Health Home improvement Homeowners Awkward Drugs Kids Babysitter Music Lonely Crush Wanker Intimacy Relatable Cats Animals Work Coworkers Airplanes Transportation Sleep Embarrassing Mental health Cute

The Top

Today, I was informed that my boyfriend's mother would be joining us on our Valentine's dinner. I'm not sure if this momma's boy thing is going to work out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 090

You deserved it 3 602

Today, I found out that my mother has been making videos every time she babysits my kids (who are 2 and 6 years-old) and uploading them to YouTube. She's retired, but out of boredom and need for attention, she seems to have tried making a family vlog channel, but with MY kids. FML

I agree, your life sucks 560

You deserved it 89

The Top

Today, I received an e-mail from the girls at work. It was an invite to lunch, but it said, "Lunch today at Camber's, PLEASE don't tell Françoise, I don't think any of us can take any more of her!" I'm Françoise. FML

I agree, your life sucks 87 071

You deserved it 19 466

Today, my boyfriend bought Elden Ring and hasn’t listened to me once all day. At one point I got his attention by waving my bare boobs at him to remind him it’s his turn to cook. Unfortunately he didn’t listen to me then either, because, you know, my boobs were out and his ears shut down. FML

I agree, your life sucks 994

You deserved it 511

Today, my girlfriend's mother is more into me than she is. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 481

You deserved it 2 255

Today, my fiance's divorce was finalized and we went out to dinner to celebrate. I stepped away to use the bathroom, then came back to a note on the table saying, "I'm going to enjoy single life, thanks!" He left me with the bill. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 208

You deserved it 548

Today, I decided to come clean with my daughter about her adoptive status within my family. Just after I told her she was adopted, I realized that I have been telling her stories about me giving birth to her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 250

You deserved it 62 583

Today, like most days, I spent my lunch break with a sandwich in one hand while typing with the other, trying to keep up with my work load, while my coworker took a nap. We're supposed to be doing the same job, but he refuses to learn most of the software. The boss is fine with this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 787

You deserved it 388