Animals: Today, I found my beloved hamster, Toofie. Toofie escaped from...

By riptoofie - 16/01/2010 21:36 - United States

Today, I found my beloved hamster, Toofie. Toofie escaped from his cage. 4 years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 998

You deserved it 4 977

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When the campus comes back to life, anecdotes abound between the lecture halls and student parties! More…

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Same thing different taste

By Noname - 27/01/2009 19:42 - Ireland

Today, I found the family's pet hamster under my mattress, he's been missing for six months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 924

You deserved it 3 205

By poorhamster - 23/10/2010 06:22 - United States

Today, I found my pet hamster that escaped yesterday, wet and soggy, next to my pet dog. My dog chewed it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 065

You deserved it 3 923

By Anonymous - 15/11/2010 21:31 - Ireland

Today, I accidentally left my sister's hamster's cage open and it escaped. My dad recently put mouse traps down. Guess where I found her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 910

You deserved it 34 855

Leftovers

By Anonymous - 20/03/2023 18:00 - United States

Today, my daughter brought home her class hamster for the weekend. It escaped and we spent hours searching for it. We later found it in the fridge, eating our leftover pizza. I never knew hamsters had such a refined palate. FML

I agree, your life sucks 829

You deserved it 173

By squeak - 12/09/2011 13:52 - United Kingdom

Today, I thought my hamster might be lonely, so I went to the pet shop and bought a new one to keep him company. The new hamster killed the old one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 129

You deserved it 13 983

By Alex White - 02/05/2016 16:50 - Canada - Westerose

Today, my husband was using the microwave when we suddenly hear a huge 'POP'. The good news is we found our daughter's missing hamster. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 503

You deserved it 4 762

By SmellyCloset - 05/10/2014 21:34 - United States - San Francisco

Today, I found a decomposing hamster deep in my closet. My daughter had hidden "Peach" after accidentally killing it and said it had ran away a month ago. And I'd believed her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 690

You deserved it 4 936

By zac545 - 19/02/2009 06:14 - United States

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 951

You deserved it 11 232

Alas…

By Chris - 13/02/2010 05:04 - United States

Today, I put my hamster in his ball, and spent about an hour cleaning his cage. When I came back, I realized he wasn't even alive. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 895

You deserved it 7 387

By Anonymous - 19/12/2010 20:51 - United States

Today, my last remaining pet, a hamster, died. Even he thinks it's better to drown in his water dish than brave the world living with me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 123

You deserved it 7 198

coolguyattack 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 1:11

Was he like, a hardcore, badass-looking wild hamster that doesn't afraid of anything?

Incubuss 0

Sunday 17 January 2010 1:13

To be blunt, how did you not smell Toofie rotting?

Comments

lauraaaa_fml 0

Monday 18 January 2010 5:26

aww, i had a hamster named dribbles and he died 1 month and 4 days before he turned 3 years old:( i feel bad for you.

peacockfeather 0

Monday 18 January 2010 10:58

FAIL.:))

Crysta_fml 3

Tuesday 19 January 2010 19:28

Obvioulsy your hampster is dead 'riptoofie' is your userhandle... but eh... Your FML isn't an FML... really, is it?

nerdychick16 2

Monday 25 January 2010 2:05

-*Oh Wow..Was He Alive?

cwark 0

Tuesday 26 January 2010 0:21

lol this fml is in the fml video

Miley_Virus 0

Friday 5 February 2010 4:09

UR A ****** LIAR.Hamsters have life spans of two years.

linndzee 0

Thursday 11 February 2010 6:18

u dumb a*** of course it was dead??? hellooo. he found the decayed body im guessing

bk_chick13 0

Sunday 14 February 2010 1:19

well that's just wat happens wen u name a hamster toofie lesson learned everyone

FMLiswhatisay 0

Saturday 20 February 2010 4:29

who the **** names their hamster toofie?!

hellzrydaz 0

Monday 1 March 2010 8:35

ydi for having a hamster you poor dumbfuck

Keywords

Annoying Education Confused University Divorce Awkward Love AITA Sex Dreams Relatable Miscellaneous Embarrassing Racism Work Weird Motherhood Cute Pregnancy Kids Harassment Animals Family Poopoo peepee Surprise Health Roommate Food My ex Texting

The Top

Today, my dad's boss called our house and I answered. He said, "Is your dad home?" I replied, "I'll go check." I put the phone on mute and asked my dad if he wanted to talk to his boss. My dad says, "Does that asshole not have a life?" Turns out the phone wasn't on mute, it was on speaker. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 357

You deserved it 42 739

Today, while I was showering in my dorm, a hand reached through the curtain and grabbed my ass. I hit the person on the other side of the curtain. He opened the curtain, thinking that I was his girlfriend. He apologized, then went on to have sex with his girlfriend in the shower stall next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 926

You deserved it 3 628

The Top

Today, I went up to take a shower. I typically go to the bathroom first, I take a mega dump, then flush the toilet. Not only wouldn't the toilet flush but I found out my parents only keep one plunger on hand. It was in the downstairs bathroom. My dad came upstairs and plunged the toilet while I stood there naked. FML

I agree, your life sucks 497

You deserved it 279

Today, I was stuck on a bus for an hour with a wasp buzzing around. I have a severe phobia of wasps. I was crying by time I reached my destination. FML

I agree, your life sucks 569

You deserved it 205

Today, I was in bed sick from pneumonia. I asked my boyfriend to nuke a can of soup for me. He said "in a sec, let me finish this game" and continued to play on his Xbox for an hour. Starving, I crawled out to make soup. When I sat down to eat, he paused the game and asked "you didn't make me any?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 851

You deserved it 5 534

Today, I was told by my best friend and roommate of 7 years that I’m a selfish asshole. Why? I won’t get over the fact that she’s dating my ex, who I was with for 10 years and had 3 kids with. We broke up because he proposed, and then cheated while she was in the house 3 days later. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 294

You deserved it 224

Today, I left my MacBook Pro on the kitchen counter, so my mother later ran it through the dishwasher, thinking it was a “lovely apple chopping board”. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 126

You deserved it 309

Today, my ex claimed she missed me and asked me to come back, but when I gave her a polite and firm no, she turned nasty and keyed my car. Apparently, what she actually missed was someone mug enough to pay 2/3 of the household bills, while looking after her badly behaved brat whenever she didn't want to. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 056

You deserved it 131

Same thing different taste

Leftovers

Alas…

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