Miscellaneous: Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to...

By Anonymous - 16/09/2012 15:32 - United States - Acton

Today, I found out I'm pregnant. Yesterday, I finally came to my senses and started using birth control. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 809

You deserved it 59 564

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Same thing different taste

Too little, too late

By Anonymous - 20/01/2014 20:23 - United States - Manhattan

Today, I went to the health department to get on some birth control. I left the health department without birth control, and with the news that I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 407

You deserved it 33 876

Yeet it

By Anonymous - 25/02/2021 23:00 - Canada

Today, I finally had my doctor's appointment to get my tubes tied. I've been waiting for 2 years. Instead, I found out that my birth control failed and I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 158

You deserved it 147

By Anonymous - 16/11/2009 00:52 - Canada

Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML

I agree, your life sucks 67 132

You deserved it 4 188

By samantha - 17/08/2019 06:02 - United States

Today, I found out that after using several types of birth control, and being paranoid about pregnancy, I've been infertile for years. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 043

You deserved it 197

Planned parenthood

By KittenTitz - 03/05/2020 20:00

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant. I also found out that the dad has a fiancée. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 779

You deserved it 650

Safety first

By Anonymous - 28/04/2024 03:30 - India

Today, I found out that morning after pills don't work if you're already ovulating. I also found out that I might become a father wayyyy sooner than expected. FML

I agree, your life sucks 140

You deserved it 618

Malpractice

By Anonymous - 03/03/2024 09:00 - Australia

Today, I found out that I have unnecessarily been using birth control for the past 10 years. A surgery I had following a complication with my first child apparently rendered me infertile, and none of the doctors bothered to enlighten me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 720

You deserved it 78

By Anonymous - 27/01/2017 22:00

Today, I found out I'm pregnant with my soon-to-be ex-husband's baby from the moment we agreed to have sex one last time together. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 705

You deserved it 9 170

Surprise!

By Anonymous - 12/02/2011 18:40 - United States

Today, I went in to the doctor's thinking I had a bladder infection. I walked out knowing I'm pregnant. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 343

You deserved it 16 689

Judge Judy and executioner

By jessie star - 17/10/2022 18:00

Today, I'm pregnant. So far, I have been criticized about 20 times for “making poor choices.” Not only did we use a condom, I’m also on the pill, and have an IUD. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 098

You deserved it 196

gc327072 30

Sunday 16 September 2012 19:16

And you didn't have sense enough to use ANYTHING up until now? YDI.

sarah6786 14

Sunday 16 September 2012 19:16

Too late . Congrats!

Comments

Praisethelawd 0

Sunday 16 September 2012 23:40

That really ******* sucks. Should have made that effort a long time ago.

superLEXsunshine 3

Sunday 16 September 2012 23:50

I feel sorry for you and wish you much luck with your new motherhood endeavors..

mrnuleef 7

Sunday 16 September 2012 23:56

Please at least step up to the plate when mommy time gets here or give that child to someone who will

Nanael_fml 4

Monday 17 September 2012 1:44

Just a reality check for you.... Mommy time started the minute they found out they were pregnant

scalleywag 2

Sunday 16 September 2012 23:59

Nice job, *****.

BlowinChronic 18

Monday 17 September 2012 0:07

YDI... Why did it take you so long to come to your senses? Better hope you really love the guy who's kid it is.

FalconSam1414 19

Monday 17 September 2012 0:10

YDI for being an idiot. Birth control is kinda to be used BEFORE sex. No sympathy here, girl.

Akoz23 5

Monday 17 September 2012 1:03

There is no way you don't deserve this.

Blue329 15

Monday 17 September 2012 1:11

Shit just got real

etchsanity1 11

Monday 17 September 2012 1:11

At least you aren't fat... Yet

Missusluv313 9

Monday 17 September 2012 1:22

You're ******* kidding, right? There are far worse things to be than fat.

fmirza95 4

Monday 17 September 2012 1:20

Watch Juno.

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The Top

Today, I set up my phone to take a time-lapse video of the sunset. When I checked the footage later, all I saw was me running back and forth because I’d forgotten my keys and wallet multiple times. FML

I agree, your life sucks 142

You deserved it 417

Today, my wife waited until we’d been married for two weeks to tell me she has a mountain of credit card debt that she’s been hiding from me. This explains why she insisted the mortgage and car be in my name, her credit score is so low that it’s almost a double digit FML

I agree, your life sucks 477

You deserved it 128

The Top

Today, I found out that you can give your grandpa a Vietnam flashback when you set off a leftover firecracker from New Years. I also found out that a 76 year old hits pretty fucking hard when freaking out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 250

You deserved it 8 381

Today, I guest-played as a catcher for a new fastpitch softball team. After the first couple of innings, the batter fouled a ball back into my catcher's mask. As a concussion test, the coach asked me what her name was. I decided to fake the concussion rather than admit that I'd forgotten her name. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 241

You deserved it 6 013

Today, thanks to my estranged husband, I had three seizures at work. I came home yesterday to find that my seizure medications were completely gone. He'd flushed them down the toilet because he thinks I'm psychotic and "read on the internet" that it's because of the meds. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 122

You deserved it 276

Today, I’m bisexual and recently got into talking with a man after dumping my girlfriend. I had a “craving” for a man and when I went to fulfill my needs, it wasn't even two inches long. FML

I agree, your life sucks 705

You deserved it 1 336

Today, as I worked the drive-through at Wendy's, the hottest girl from my math class pulled up to the window. As I handed her the drink, I asked her what she thought of our math test today. She screamed, "How did you know I had a math test, you creep!", threw the drink at me, and drove off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 92 114

You deserved it 7 247

Today, after a sleepless night, I fell asleep at my work desk. When I awoke, I found my co-workers had duct taped me to my chair. I was yelling at them to untape me, when our boss came in, scolded me for fucking about on the job, and left without saying a word to my colleagues. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 034

You deserved it 12 766