Intimacy: Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's...

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By Sleep Walking - 23/01/2009 18:51 - United States

Today, I found out that after drunkenly falling asleep at a guy's house, I not only slept-walked in his house, but I went upstairs into his parents room. And used their bathroom. I don't remember any of this, but his mom does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 905

You deserved it 9 231

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Hangover time

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2010 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I woke up to find that I'd left my clothes in my roommate's bedroom. After returning from a night of heavy drinking, I apparently got up to use the bathroom and used her room as a toilet. I don't remember this, but pee stains don't lie. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 405

You deserved it 30 864

Twisted

By sleepwalker - 22/11/2009 01:33 - United States

Today, I woke up in my roommate's bed. Apparently, the previous night I sleep-walked into her room, layed on her bed, and fell asleep. In the middle of her and her boyfriend having sex. He's now going around saying he slept with both of us. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 789

You deserved it 4 727

By Jebus - 24/01/2009 16:07 - Canada

Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 119

You deserved it 34 800

By Anonymous - 31/05/2012 19:03 - Canada

Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 633

You deserved it 34 449

Awkward

By Nikki - 18/03/2009 03:15 - United States

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 192

You deserved it 91 585

Partaaaaay!

By Anonymous - 18/07/2013 18:16 - Canada - Kelowna

Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 132

You deserved it 46 992

So frustrating!

By Anonymous - 21/11/2013 20:37 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I tried to have a fun night out. I met a guy and we went back to "his" place, which turned out to actually be his mother's house. He introduced me to her. Two hours later, I knew his life story and had to do the walk of shame without ever getting anywhere near his bedroom. FML

I agree, your life sucks 52 429

You deserved it 10 279

By paulinapo - 30/05/2013 01:53 - United States - Staten Island

Today, I woke up in bed with a one-night stand. We got really drunk the night before so I went to make a hangover-cure breakfast. Apparently he was so drunk that he didn't remember me, and when he came to the kitchen, he knocked me out with a pan and called the cops. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 356

You deserved it 9 840

Occam's razor

By anonymous - 12/02/2011 05:48 - Canada

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. Groggy and disoriented, I bumped into several pieces of furniture and made a lot of noise. My dad woke up, mistook me for a burglar, and knocked me out with his fist. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 825

You deserved it 4 721

By Anonymous - 28/08/2019 00:01 - Australia - Darwin

Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML

I agree, your life sucks 571

You deserved it 1 899

Brolyismyson 0

Monday 23 February 2009 8:39

haha thats so funny i feel so bad for you

greendaygirl597 0

Wednesday 21 July 2010 5:04

"Slept-walked..?" ummm...

Comments

Brolyismyson 0

Monday 23 February 2009 8:39

haha thats so funny i feel so bad for you

SAF_fml 0

Tuesday 11 August 2009 7:07

Sue her for watching you use the washroom.. Gosh....perverts these days

FYLDUDEE 3

Wednesday 14 July 2010 13:28

LOL xD

could_be_funny 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 3:46

their probably used to it if they allow him to have parties at their house

Pearson_fml 0

Saturday 25 April 2009 9:26

you shoulda said somethin along the lines of "don't worry, I'm NOT doin your son".

devynnleigh23 0

Monday 11 January 2010 8:11

the guy fails for living with his parents.

kekelala3 0

Friday 2 April 2010 2:00

This is probably a lie. You are old enough to drink so should the dude your sleeping with. Which means your supposed to be atleast 21 years of age. So your sleeping with a grown man who lives with his parents? What you can't get laid by a slightly decent guy?