Love: Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years... - FML

By Anonymous - 20/04/2014 17:58 - United Kingdom - Wigan

Spicy

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 612

You deserved it 9 564

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Rather than debating politics with Uncle Roger for the umpteenth time, share the best Christmas FMLs to finally have a good family meal! More…

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Same thing different taste

Get out of here

By Cpt Colin - 03/01/2012 07:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, my girlfriend hated the idea of sex so much she was willing to give me money for a stripper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 869

You deserved it 5 979

By Chewy - 05/01/2010 10:45 - United Kingdom

Today, after my girlfriend telling me for years that she would marry me in a heartbeat, I finally proposed. She said no. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 563

You deserved it 4 271

By Anonymous - 19/10/2009 07:10 - Indonesia

Today, when I proposed to my girlfriend of 8 years, she said no because she thought we were moving too fast. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 794

You deserved it 3 405

By Anonymous - 22/04/2015 14:24 - United States - Altamonte Springs

Spicy

Today, my religious girlfriend convinced me to let her take my virginity. A few hours later, she broke up with me, crying and saying I was going to hell for having sex before marriage. But apparently she isn't, and she can't be with someone who "tempts" her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 289

You deserved it 3 724

By chao - 22/12/2009 02:47 - United States

Today, I asked my girlfriend what she thought of us getting married some day. She said she wasn't sure about me yet and that we may want to go in different directions soon. We've been dating for three years and I had the ring in my pocket at the moment. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 241

You deserved it 3 868

The magic of love

By robot lady - 23/09/2020 23:01

Today, I learned just how “old fashioned” my girlfriend is when we talked about marriage. She said it should be approached as a logically as possible and that I make an ideal partner, based on my ability to provide. And while she sees sex as uninteresting, it is a wifely duty she’s willing to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 416

You deserved it 208

Family values

By Anonymous - 23/05/2015 03:44 - United States - Mountain View

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to accept, but that she'd basically have to get her mom's permission first. Apparently the answer was no. The worst thing is that she really is this unhealthily dependent on her mom, and probably wasn't lying about needing her permission. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 023

You deserved it 3 407

By Limalia - 24/01/2011 21:00 - Switzerland

Spicy

Today, one week after my girlfriend berated me for not being invested enough in our relationship, I proposed to her. Her answer? "I meant give me an orgasm, not a ring!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 336

You deserved it 10 644

By Anonymous - 16/11/2013 00:10 - Australia - Ascot Vale

Spicy

Today, I introduced my girlfriend to my parents, despite my long-standing protests. Over the next hour, they asked her if she'd ever considered becoming a swinger, why not, if she'd ever consider it in future, and to keep them in mind if she does. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 503

You deserved it 3 107

By Anonymous - 05/02/2013 06:40 - United States - Northbrook

Spicy

Today, after trying to convince my girlfriend to have sex for almost 16 months, she finally said yes. I couldn't get it up the second she said it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 149

You deserved it 39 685

Next

Top comments

coolcocoxxx 12

Monday 21 April 2014 2:02

Get out of that. Now.

friedpwnadge 25

Monday 21 April 2014 2:03

She's probably sleeping with other men if she has that kind of double standard.

Comments

ekwinoks 5

Monday 21 April 2014 15:45

I don't think you wanna marry her

Phoenix_fml 13

Monday 21 April 2014 15:59

run, bro

mrmaddman 9

Monday 21 April 2014 16:46

Run!!!! Don't look back!!

MelanieLove14 6

Monday 21 April 2014 17:50

Leave her! It's not right

siqdawg 9

Monday 21 April 2014 18:12

Ugh. Wutdafak.

6dandaman5 8

Monday 21 April 2014 19:18

Make a video of yourself jerking off and shooting all over her online strip show and then tell her to get lost

ksmkeys 3

Monday 21 April 2014 19:40

ditch her man!!

Km1490 20

Monday 21 April 2014 19:52

Run..

verenicesaysmeow 4

Monday 21 April 2014 21:27

She don't luv youuu

Fas4wd 13

Monday 21 April 2014 22:32

Dump the bitch!

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Keywords

Love Embarrassing Poopoo peepee Miscellaneous Christmas Romantic Break-ups Money Annoying Gross Ironic Argument Friends Awkward Cute Haircut Holidays Lonely Relatable Capitalism Work Bosses You're fired Cars Covid Health Jealousy Cheating Parenting Kids

The Top

Today, it is mine and my twin sister's birthday. We both wanted a day at the spa for our birthday. My sister got a gift certificate to the spa, while I got mouthwash and a $20 gift card to Target. My mom said it would cost too much to make me also pretty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 121 781

You deserved it 5 987

Today, I yelled at one of my employees for trying to discreetly slip out of a meeting, and demanded he sit up front so I could make sure he stayed for the whole time. Three minutes later, he shat his pants. FML

I agree, your life sucks 62

You deserved it 1 133

The Top

Today, I had to make my boss believe that I was late to work because my sick dog shit all over my bedsheets and I had to clean up the mess before work. The truth is, I don't have a dog, and I wrongly trusted a long fart this morning. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 370

You deserved it 1 159

Today, my husband and I got into an argument over him not brushing his teeth. It ended with him snapping his toothbrush in half. He's 52. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 296

You deserved it 6 101

Today, I found out that my girlfriend hasn't really been "researching" for work on the Internet; she's actually been tweeting the same pathetic plea to a guy from One Direction asking him to "follow" her. She's 29. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 477

You deserved it 5 103

Today, my brother got the same cologne as the guy I've been seeing for a while. Every time I'm with my brother I think about him, and every time I'm with him I think about my brother. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 817

You deserved it 4 508

Today, I asked a customer to send me via e-mail the image he wanted me to print. He said, "I don't have an email, I have a Gmail." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 574

You deserved it 1 095

Today, my older brother managed to convince my younger sister that she's actually a boy, and that she'll soon be getting a penis in the mail, which she excitedly told everyone she could. He convinced me of the exact same thing as well several years ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 517

You deserved it 7 057