Health: Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big...

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By poopydaddy - 03/05/2013 11:32 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I found out that every time my girlfriend takes a big dump, she pretends as if she's giving birth and screams uncontrollably. I just moved in with her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 888

You deserved it 5 663

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Same thing different taste

Good news!

By CaseyFpC85 - 11/09/2011 15:13 - United States

Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 469

You deserved it 7 996

Cuteness overload

By Cpm - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Canada

Today, my girlfriend decided we are ready for the next step in our relationship. Apparently that next step is her taking a dump with the door open. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 880

You deserved it 5 218

By drew - 07/09/2010 17:06 - United States

Today, I accidentally walked in on my girlfriend changing. She responded by screaming, throwing herself on the ground to avoid me seeing her, and crawling into the bathroom. We've been living together for two months. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 660

You deserved it 5 331

By Anonymous - 13/11/2009 00:05 - United States

Today, my girlfriend was throwing a birthday party and got very drunk. She needed help getting to the bathroom so I picked her up and walked her to the toilet. Assuming she needed to throw up, she instead takes a huge, monstrous crap right in front of me. I can't look at her the same ever again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 466

You deserved it 8 870

By Gas-pingForAir - 19/09/2016 08:59 - United States - Columbia

Today, my girlfriend managed to trap a fart in her nightgown and carry it all the way from the bathroom, into our bedroom, and finally into our bed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 797

You deserved it 1 673

By Tyler Smith - 03/11/2011 11:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend thinks my house is filled with ghosts. She can only hear them when I fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 409

You deserved it 5 727

Overdoing it

By Zill - 17/11/2022 10:00

Today, my girlfriend has become such a workaholic that I found her sitting in her office, soaked in piss. When I called her out, she said she didn't want to take bathroom breaks anymore, and asked me to buy diapers. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 294

You deserved it 133

By WakeUpToADream - 25/09/2015 20:43 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my girlfriend is as punctual as a German train; I woke up to see her taking a dump into a plastic bag in our bedroom, all because my roommate was using the bathroom and she had to leave for work on time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 286

You deserved it 1 983

By CHStennis_4 - 03/09/2011 04:48 - United States

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Because she farted, and thought it was "too awkward". FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 320

You deserved it 3 867

By Anonymous - 30/08/2015 00:06 - Canada - Newmarket

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 715

You deserved it 2 205

delaneyluke 5

Friday 3 May 2013 16:09

Too late to DUMP her now.

ekb777 13

Friday 3 May 2013 16:18

If only childbirth was like taking a big dump..

Comments

finch01 18

Friday 3 May 2013 19:43

who's your daddy who's your daddy who's your daddy... I think it looks more like you

oh_lordy_me 18

Friday 3 May 2013 19:45

Deal breaker....

martinfml 8

Friday 3 May 2013 20:09

Time for a walk.

lovesummers 8

Friday 3 May 2013 21:40

Good luck living with her. Watch out she might have more habits

RedPillSucks 31

Friday 3 May 2013 21:45

Tell her you want her to have an abortion then stick your dick in her ass.... What? Too much?

Epikouros 31

Friday 3 May 2013 22:16

That yellow turd doesn't look healthy.

kittycat2007 18

Friday 3 May 2013 23:07

well since she likes to pretend, maybe you should help her get used to the pain by having lots of anal sex. Ya know, for practice.

rebelliousshroom 12

Friday 3 May 2013 23:09

Are you sure she's not actually in pain? Did she say she was pretending to give birth, or is that just your way of expressing how loud she was? Maybe you should advice her to go to the doctor.