By kiken.bara - 06/01/2013 08:17 - United States

Today, I found out that I'm pregnant and sent a picture of the positive test to my boyfriend. Before I got a text back from him, I saw his newly updated Facebook status, which read, "This has got to be the most depressing day of my life." FML
I agree, your life sucks 27 961
You deserved it 7 498

Same thing different taste

Top comments

I hate how important conversations have been reduced to a text message...

Comments

It would have been better to tell him in person. I'm sure texting was'nt involved with the conception.

LiterOfCola 16

He probably didn't even open the text yet

Misses9098 7

He was probably surprised! Just give it time, things will work out!

Nothing in this post suggests the BF is unsupportive he can still be upset while still being supportive. I'm just saying no one should really be upset with the BF's reaction cut the guy some slack he just got a picture text telling him he's about to be a dad not exactly the best way to find out.

I would say publicly complaining about life on a social network for others to see is not supportive.

I think ur boyfriend will shoot himself if you're getting twins...

btstig 11

Stop repeating yourself 128. We heard you the first time.

perdix 29

YDI for getting pregnant before marriage. I'm not saying this from a religious or moral point of view. I say this from a purely practical viewpoint. Marriage is primarily a contract to establish a stable partnership for raising children. It compels both parents to commit their resources to the household. Without marriage, the father is free to share his resources with other women (while most people are obsessed with the semen he's sharing, it's really the money that damages his family.) I don't have a problem with consenting adults of marital status having sex, but when it comes to raising children, marriage gives a couple the best chance of having a successful outcome.

perdix 29

*consenting adults of any marital status

While I understand your views, I have to point out that it is possible to have a stable environment for children without marriage. Gay people have been doing it for years.

perdix 29

#24, while I agree it's possible, it is more challenging. I support gay marriage for this reason among others. The state-recognized institution of marriage is primarily a legal and financial arrangement, and should be available to everyone. We shouldn't confuse it with the religious rite of marriage, where each religion decides who can get married and have standing in that house of worship.

There are exceptions to that, 25. I got my girlfriend pregnant (unplanned), and while we did break up (it was because she cheated on me), there's absolutely no way I would run out on my child. Her mother and I do everything possible to try to make her life stable, including spending a lot of time together with her and going on family outings.

WhisperSoflty 20

My thoughts exactly. The culture of "having children is always a blessing and they will always be cherished and everything is roses and daisies" is really just not good. Life is an amazing and beautiful thing, and it should be cherished, but that doesn't mean that Sally Jo getting pregnant at 16, 17, 18, is a great, grand, and wonderful thing. It mostly means that her chances of living in poverty have now doubled, her child will have a hard life growing up, and her child will also have a disproportionately high chance of remaining in poverty throughout her/his adult life.

perdix 29

#37, good luck with that, but things are much more precarious for you since you are unmarried. If your baby's mom finds another man, she can almost totally separate you from your child. And you might get stuck with child-support payments until she ties the knot with your replacement. If you want to ensure yourself a strong role in your daughter's life (which is admirable) and sacrifice your chance to find someone else, you'll march your baby's mom down to City Hall and make it legal.

So, in your perfect little world, divorce doesn't exist? How are things that much more stable whenever divorce may happen at any time and if it does not, the child has to grow up in a tense household where parents hate each other? I've seen children before growing up with two parents that have no business being married or living together, it's not pretty.

59 - I don't doubt your statistics, but I do have a counterexample. My cousin has a 7-year-old daughter and never married the father. I think they broke up before the baby was born, but the father still has part-time custody. My cousin is basically broke, but she lives with her parents, who are fairly well-off, enough that the 7-year-old goes to private school and basically gets everything she asks for. 72 - you don't have to be married to get custody.

My boyfriend and I have 3 girls together, and although we r not married it does mean our kids will be raised in a less stable home. We just don't feel marriage is for us at this time in life but are living life like we are! Marriage has nothing to do with it. It all has to do with love. Makes no difference if ur married or not, if u dont love each other it will never work out!

I don't think it matters so much being married. Some people are with there better half for awhile then get pregnant and then get married and it still works out. Also some young people who get pregnant and have kids and don't stay together still make it work in some cases. All marriage is is a piece of paper really. All that matters in the end whether the parents are together or not whether it's unplanned or not is that the child is loved and cared for.

Sorry, Perdix, but she'll never be able to take her completely away from me. I won't go into the details on a public forum, but there was a situation that gave me court ordered 50/50 custody. It's a long story, but it made it so that no matter what, I will always be in my daughter's life. And I'm sorry, but while we try our best to make her life as stable as possible, neither of us believe in marrying for the sake of the child. It may seem like a good idea at the time, but as a child of divorce, I know that watching your parents go through a bitter divorce (one that ends a marriage made for the kids, no less) can be more damaging than almost any other situation.

While I don't doubt a teenager getting pregnant means a difficult life for the parents and child, I have seen teenage pregnancies first-hand that are healthy. I had three fiends that got pregnant at 16. Two are struggling desperately in adulthood and the baby daddy is nowhere to be found, while the third finished high-school, college and is now a stable, independent, professional adult. It's all about the parents drive for a positive future; not the age. Though I do not condone teenagers getting pregnant , I do support young parents and their drive for fighting for their dreams, goals and futures. A baby isn't the end of the world; it's the "end" of their current life as they know it. So, to anyone whose pregnancy was unplanned, or if you were single (not married), young, or both and got pregnant, I say keep on fighting for what you want. All things are possible to obtain if you simply try. It won't be easy, but it's possible!

perdix 29

#125, you and others have missed my point. I said that marriage provided the best chance for successful child-rearing. It's not perfect and other arrangements CAN work, but it is less likely that they do work. I asked Tom Brady, Peyton Manning, RGIII, Aaron Rogers and Andrew Luck if it was possible to make a living as an NFL quarterback and 100% of them said yes. So, let's all become NFL quarterbacks, right?

No, you're just on a crazy marriage rant even though it's just silly.

Now your poor kid has to suffer because you banged some stupid *****

2RaRa25 6

What a mature young boy. I know it's not ideal to have an unplanned kid, but I wouldn't say it's "depressing." Hopefully he'll man up before the baby arrives and realize the cool little package that's coming in 9 months. If not, best of luck to you, OP.

LiterOfCola 16
2RaRa25 6

Is there something wrong with that? I personally wouldn't trade the kids I have for anything. They bring so much joy and happiness, and most parents feel that way. OP, even if the dad doesn't come around, your going to have a child that you will love and cherish like no other.

@2rara25 sorry to say but you now have the privilage of hindsight. This guy just learnt through a picture text he is going to be a dad, his whole life from that moment has just changed he has just had something so important and life changing told to him via a text message he checked his phone to find out he is a dad. If they had been trying sure that's cute but since it seems they weren't it's really inappropriate way to do it. So yes he is allowed to be depressed he is allowed to be sad and upset and angry about this. If he is young he doesn't have to be mature right now he is well within his rights to freak the hell out because in nine months he is going to have to be mature and be ready to look after a baby and be responsible for that life. So the sooner he gets the freakouts out of his system the sooner he can start readying himself to be a dad.

Sounds like you two haven't discussed kids our even thought about the possibility of getting pregnant..He doesn't seem ready for this and if he's depressed now he's not going to be any better once you have the child..=/

Well, don't get a baby while you're not married.

andiw 6

How old is he,? How old are you. How long have u been dating?