Miscellaneous: Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while...

By ww2freak - 14/06/2012 01:17 - United States - Centreville

Today, I found out that if you whistle Christmas carols while shitting in a public bathroom, a little boy might just look under the stall to see if Santa is pooping. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 948

You deserved it 27 350

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Family meals that turn absurd, because Thanksgiving is also about laughing at little disasters. More…

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Same thing different taste

By tishihish - 12/12/2011 05:15 - United States

Today, I walked into the Macy's bathroom to find Santa taking a dump with the door open. Merry Christmas. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 934

You deserved it 2 821

By Santa - 12/12/2011 21:45 - Canada

Today, I was working at the mall as Santa, when a little girl took a shit in my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 055

You deserved it 4 410

By Anonymous - 11/12/2010 04:59 - Canada

Today, I had to clean bathroom duties at work. Someone wrote "Merry Christmas" on the wall in their own shit. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 392

You deserved it 2 727

By Anonymous - 26/09/2011 18:52 - United States

Today, at work while on the toilet, somebody came into the stall next to me and gave a loud play by play of every fart, plop, and grunt. He then asked loudly who I was and when I didn't answer put his head under the stall to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 062

You deserved it 3 580

Express yourself

By Embarassed - 18/10/2024 20:00 - United States - Cleveland

Today, my toddler started chirping, "Mommy’s on the toilet!" while I was in a public restroom at our local mall. She also knocked on the stall door to make sure everyone was made aware of our exact location. FML

I agree, your life sucks 302

You deserved it 121

By frozenpoo - 21/01/2015 02:05 - United States

Today, while trying to take a crap, I shut the bathroom door. A minute later, my 3 year old daughter knocked and said "Mommy, do you wanna build a snowman?" She kept singing the song until I was finally done. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 659

You deserved it 5 021

By BathroomMuch - 25/12/2009 16:15 - United States

Today, I have been stuck in the bathroom. Apparently, my 8 year old son decided to sneak in some TurboLax into the juice we left out for Santa. Well played son. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 874

You deserved it 7 741

By Anonymous - 06/12/2010 22:16 - United Kingdom

Today, my little brother found the singing Santa Claus from last year, and it still works. I'm now going to be hearing nothing but "We WISH you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!" for the next 20 days. FML

I agree, your life sucks 24 673

You deserved it 4 537

By moopymoplady - 29/11/2011 00:44 - Canada

Today, I saw Santa. He gave me the finger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 279

You deserved it 5 629

Bathroom menace

By Shelly - 07/06/2009 02:25 - United States

Today, I used the restroom at a department store. While I was in my stall, I overheard a little girl say to her mother, "I see someone wearing pink!" I remembered that I was wearing pink just as she finished her thought, "…and she's pooping." She was peeking at me through the stall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 241

You deserved it 3 453

Yellow_Fish79 11

Thursday 14 June 2012 12:18

Tell him he is on the naughty list! Peeking under stalls... >:

allblacksfan 7

Thursday 14 June 2012 12:19

I would do the exact same thing. Who would want to miss out on meeting Santa?

Comments

riptor911 10

Thursday 14 June 2012 16:09

You know its june right? Why are u whistling christmas songs?

alana_mccafferz 4

Thursday 14 June 2012 16:42

Ahahahahah! That kid is a legend. What a cutie.

donkey79 0

Thursday 14 June 2012 16:49

Is that your version of fishing?

noisebox 1

Thursday 14 June 2012 17:00

They are enough to even hear at Christmas time you need to re-load your brain tunes...

Octain 13

Thursday 14 June 2012 17:57

Do did you kick him? ;o

day624 14

Thursday 14 June 2012 18:09

Only santa whistles christmas carols in june

TheyCallMeDamien 17

Thursday 14 June 2012 18:16

This should be that kid's FML not yours. Imagine his disappointment.

xqtmvzwr 1

Thursday 14 June 2012 18:20

That's a straight shooter right there, amirite.net ?

mscat 0

Thursday 14 June 2012 18:38

That sounds perverted!

gwg924 2

Thursday 14 June 2012 18:48

Why on earth would you be singing Christmas carols in FREAKING JUNE?!?!?!?!?!?

Keywords

Miscellaneous Embarrassing Awkward Sleep Work Love Dating Am I overreacting? Annoying Parents Health Mental health Furniture Kids Friends Gross Fight Public freakouts Drugs Neighbours Cops Medication Relatable Animals Dogs Teenagers Ironic Video games Gamers Zoom

The Top

Today, I noticed a flashy car badly parking itself in a handicapped space. I hate the asshats who do this, so I went up to berate the driver. After an opening salvo of coarse language, a glint of light on his wheelchair in the back caught my eye. I then had to apologise for being a shitehawk. FML

I agree, your life sucks 6 623

You deserved it 42 687

Today, I was at a guy's house that I’d been seeing for a while. After watching a movie, I confessed that after these past few times we’ve hung out, I’ve started to catch feelings. He looked at me and said, "I actually don’t think I want anything serious, but are you down to be friends with benefits?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 547

You deserved it 476

The Top

Today, I received an invitation to my ex’s wedding. We were dating for three years and just broke up four months ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 112

You deserved it 222

Today, my mom, who is relatively new to Facebook, posted on her friend's wall, telling her about her recent diagnosis of vaginal thrush. She assumed that her wall post was private. Six of my friends liked the post. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 755

You deserved it 3 378

Today, I was at my boyfriends house and we were having sex. He has a game on in the background and one of his friends started talking to him. He immediately threw me off and said "I have to answer this." He went over to his computer and started talking to them. FML

I agree, your life sucks 81 077

You deserved it 8 633

Today, my housemate, who never cleans, cooked tacos, then left her dishes for the rest of the evening. When shown a bowl of murky water in the sink, she denied it was hers, prompting my vegetarian housemate to clean it. Putting her hand in the bowl, she found a lump of raw taco meat. Yum. FML

I agree, your life sucks 946

You deserved it 166

Today, I found out that in conclusion to working five nights in a row, I'm scheduled to work the night shift on Valentine's day with my ex-boyfriend. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 135

You deserved it 3 859

Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the only city in France. FML

I agree, your life sucks 624

You deserved it 69

Same thing different taste

Express yourself

Bathroom menace

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