Love: Today, I found out that my wife purposely eats peanut butter...

By Allergic - 24/01/2012 17:31 - United States

Today, I found out that my wife purposely eats peanut butter and jelly sandwiches to get out of kissing me. I'm deathly allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 364

You deserved it 3 457

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 16/02/2011 05:14 - United States

Today, I had an asthma attack. I grabbed my inhaler and found peanut butter on it. I'm extremely allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 966

You deserved it 3 987

Quick thinking

By Anonymous - 16/10/2012 00:04 - United States - Mount Jackson

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend and best friend making out. His explanation was that he was trying to stop her from having an allergic reaction to peanut butter. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 455

You deserved it 2 011

Call the cops!

By epipen life - 10/03/2019 16:00 - United States

Today, my boyfriend’s mom fed me a new dish containing peanuts, knowing full well I’m severely allergic. According to her, her ancestors “cured” allergies by exposing the person to the allergen. I went into anaphylactic shock. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 609

You deserved it 234

By djshahso - 26/02/2010 00:14 - United States

Today, I decided it would be funny to give my friend a peanut that had fallen on the floor. I hid it in his food, and started laughing when he ate it. It turns out he is allergic to peanuts. His family hates me now. FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 669

You deserved it 46 989

By Anonymous - 05/06/2015 01:07 - United States - Elkhart

Today, at work a customer bitched me out for not explicitly telling her that our peanut butter pancakes contain real peanut butter. She's threatening to sue because she's allergic to peanuts. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 832

You deserved it 2 134

By JessMelodique - 14/12/2016 03:01

Today, I finally decided to try an alternative to peanut butter, since I found out I was allergic a while back. Two hours later I had to be sent home because the allegedly allergen-free SunButter caused my lips and throat to swell and patches of rashes to form all over my body. FML

I agree, your life sucks 8 231

You deserved it 737

By peanutprobs - 31/10/2014 21:12 - Germany - Bochum

Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 891

You deserved it 3 337

Kinda sus, dude

By Anonymous - 10/01/2015 20:00 - United States - Burlington

Today, my girlfriend was making lunch and asked me to pass her the peanut butter. I'll never know why, but as I handed it to her I said the first thing that came to mind, "I really want a dog." She looked at me in horror, then told me to get out of her house. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 209

You deserved it 5 198

Is this a joke?

By Anonymous - 19/08/2020 23:02

Today, I told my wife if she wanted to get a divorce, she just had to get a cat since I'm deathly allergic. She got two. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 467

You deserved it 476

By Anonymous - 01/03/2013 07:18 - United States - American Canyon

Today, my wife packed my lunch. Inside of my lunchbox was a photo of her eating my sandwiches. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 705

You deserved it 7 409

cradle6 13

Tuesday 24 January 2012 22:06

That's...incredibly bitchy

DanLikesDodge 5

Tuesday 24 January 2012 22:10

It's peanut butter-jelly time!!!

Comments

TheJester12 15

Wednesday 25 January 2012 2:05

you must shit out your mouth to have THAT bad of breath

sillytiger91 9

Wednesday 25 January 2012 2:15

kiss of death D:

boomersooner12 4

Wednesday 25 January 2012 2:25

wow. your wifes a bitch.. juss saying..

freddykrueger56 2

Wednesday 25 January 2012 2:26

Wow

CocoMisa6210 7

Wednesday 25 January 2012 2:34

sucks to be u...sorry ur wife hates you so much =(

TonyIsMyDog 2

Wednesday 25 January 2012 3:00

Time for counseling.

Sammi381 5

Wednesday 25 January 2012 3:13

Wow that is really bitchy I would dumb her srry ass

sporkman 0

Wednesday 25 January 2012 3:18

Make her allergic to living...

NERDSUNITE92_fml 8

Wednesday 25 January 2012 3:29

Why are you still with her?????

Argenisjose 9

Wednesday 25 January 2012 3:36

Kiss of death

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I agree, your life sucks 2 273

You deserved it 1 364

The Top

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You deserved it 5 902

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You deserved it 164

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I agree, your life sucks 700

You deserved it 91

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I agree, your life sucks 458

You deserved it 734

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You deserved it 2 874

Today, my husband and our 4-year-old daughter were watching My Little Pony. When her favorite character angrily screamed, "You're going to love me!", she looked at him with a perplexed look. My husband then responded, "And THAT'S how I met your mommy!" FML

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You deserved it 436