Intimacy: Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me...

By Anonymous - 14/02/2011 17:15 - Belgium

Today, I found out that the candy bracelet my sister gave me a few days ago was actually a candy cock ring she'd used on her boyfriend just a few hours prior. Apparently, she didn't like the taste. I however, did. FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 903

You deserved it 4 898

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Same thing different taste

By fashionVictim - 08/03/2009 20:35 - United States

Today, a guy informed me that the cute, really tiny little leather bracelet with little silver hearts and several snaps that I'd found in a head shop is actually a cock ring. I'm a girl. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 666

You deserved it 13 005

By Anonymous - 10/12/2014 08:13 - United States - Seaside

Today, at work, I gave a piece of candy to a co-worker I have a crush on. She looked at me weirdly and walked away. I then remembered that my friend wrote "penis" on the wrapper. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 101

You deserved it 8 705

By jaxattax - 20/10/2009 20:17 - United States

Today, my boyfriend gave me a fancy chocolate candy and I got angry at him for forgetting that I'm allergic to chocolate and threw the candy into the garbage disposal. Turns out, he had spent a ton of money getting a chocolatier to put an engagement ring inside the candy that I just destroyed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 15 559

You deserved it 82 922

By Anonymous - 27/12/2014 20:53 - United States - Tucson

Today, I got into a fight with my sister. Later on she brought me a bowl of tortilla chips, which I thought was her way of apologizing. I found out too late that she'd licked the flavoring off them and it was really her way of saying "Fuck you." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 120

You deserved it 4 855

By flavored - 18/11/2013 15:26 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try flavored condoms. I guess I enjoyed them a little too much; I almost choked half to death on a strawberry cockcicle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 212

You deserved it 19 457

Toys R Us

By microlovin - 28/07/2013 07:45 - United States - Pasadena

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 772

You deserved it 9 263

Missing

By Anon - 04/08/2013 05:36 - Australia - Perth

Today, my girlfriend's dad pulled out the chocolate-flavoured condom that went missing under the couch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 656

You deserved it 20 286

Donut eat this

By Anonymous - 07/08/2015 21:18 - United Kingdom - Plymouth

Today, my sister offered me a couple of doughnuts she bought recently. Thinking she was just being nice, I went ahead and started eating, and was met with the most horrid taste I've ever experienced. Turns out her "recently" was two weeks ago. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 713

You deserved it 2 156

By frootloops - 21/11/2009 21:44 - United States

Today, I realized that my girlfriend had never said anything about the proposal ring I had put into a box of her Froot Loops. When I hinted it to her, she said that the cereal had expired, so she threw out the box. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 863

You deserved it 27 736

By samboob - 01/09/2010 21:01 - United States

Today, I saw one of those candies that you spray on your tongue. Only after spraying some in my mouth did I find it was actually perfume. FML

I agree, your life sucks 9 112

You deserved it 44 531

RavensRule97 0

Monday 14 February 2011 23:00

if he used it as a **** ring and you thought it was a bracelet either you have a small ass arm or hes hung like a horse

UTTU 0

Monday 14 February 2011 22:58

Now you just need to figure out what exactly you liked the taste of...

Comments

dayday14_fml 4

Tuesday 15 February 2011 3:09

eeww

doof_fisch 2

Tuesday 15 February 2011 3:49

What was the flavor........peckermint?

mizzflory 5

Tuesday 15 February 2011 5:22

win(:

taelorrae011 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 7:19

lol clever(:

FYLSLOWLY 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 13:46

No, cockmint.

bella789 8

Wednesday 16 February 2011 15:54

that was a goodone(:

Black57Mamba 2

Tuesday 15 February 2011 4:00

I made an acount just to comment on this one!

jess6blondie9 2

Tuesday 15 February 2011 7:34

You made an account on FML to write a comment saying that you made an account just to comment on this one. Smooth.

quocvo 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 7:38

lol^

Mewzakuro240 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 8:31

Well aren't you so ******* special?

hahayousucks 3

Tuesday 15 February 2011 4:17

******* WIN!!! ^_^

Hawkcody1958 1

Tuesday 15 February 2011 4:25

number 4 lol lol that was soooooo funny

Stupidpeopleanno 5

Tuesday 15 February 2011 4:26

Was it Cherry? Or Orange? Or Grape? Or Kiwi? Or Blueberry?

BlackHoleSuns 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 6:13

Was it popped cheery? Or tangy orange? Or raped grape? Or hairy kiwi? Or blueberry waffle?

meeba 2

Tuesday 15 February 2011 4:27

mlck1996 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 5:04

sucka

hockeyplaya2029 0

Tuesday 15 February 2011 5:16

was it salty

Mr25_fml 14

Tuesday 15 February 2011 5:25

..... Evil sisters

Keywords

Awkward Love My ex AITA Jealousy Friends Poopoo peepee Health Embarrassing Sports Proposal Annoying Snow Cold weather Cheating Work Money Relatable Kids Parenting DIY Accident Parents Medication ADHD Weather Miscellaneous Relationship advice Am I overreacting? Weird

The Top

Today, my husband filed for divorce. He also put himself “In a relationship” with my daughter on Facebook. She turned 18 a few days ago. He says it’s no big deal because, “at least I waited until she was legal.” The spineless idiot just doesn’t get it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 088

You deserved it 160

Today, I was telling my mother about my earrings hurting my ears. I had a cut on my ear close to the piercing and she thought that I had mistaken the cut for the opening, and said (as we walked past a car full of men), "Well of course it hurts when you put it in the wrong hole!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 75 054

You deserved it 8 438

The Top

Today, I was working customer service at a large grocery store. I recently got a small, tasteful septum piercing that is barely visible. As I greeted a customer, she began to gag, held out her hand as though she was fending me off, and said, "I can't. Your nose ring makes me sick." FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 519

You deserved it 9 647

Today, my long-distance boyfriend announced he’s sleeping with someone else and he can’t take the distance anymore. I literally drive 12 hours to see him every weekend. I just took a week off to spend time up there with him. So basically he can’t go 5 regular days of the week without sex. FML

I agree, your life sucks 598

You deserved it 167

Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 133

You deserved it 4 061

Today, my boyfriend and I were talking about being super heroes. He said I could be "The Period" because I'm a bitch. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 740

You deserved it 9 058

Today, I went to a party that had a "dress like rock stars" theme. I got all the gear necessary to dress as Ozzy Osbourne. A wig, round sunglasses, a crucifix on beads, the usual stuff. Not one person at the party knew who Ozzy Osbourne was. Nor Black Sabbath for that matter. Someone thought I was Meatloaf. FML

I agree, your life sucks 601

You deserved it 131

Today, I called a company for a problem with our septic tank. Two workers show up, I take them into the garden to show them the manhole cover at the top of it. They open it up. We then gaze upon a sea of condoms floating on the surface. My wife and I don't use condoms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 552

You deserved it 39

Same thing different taste

Toys R Us

Missing

Donut eat this

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